I'm a single mom of two who owns a home but on a tight budget. The boyfriend also has two kids that stay at my house every other weekend as well. My utils have skyrocketed the past year as well as groceries, etc.....We seem to disagree on what is fair. He has his own place (with roommates) and I have been sending him home more often. I think he should be covering the discrepancy in my utils and contributing towards groceries at the very least....I can't afford them!
2007-02-25 04:30:13 · 10 answers · asked by Susan T 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He wants all the benefits without helping pay for them. Maybe he should move in with you. It may be time to take that next step. He needs to provide groceries at the very least, if he is not going to move in. I have two kids and my grocery bill is $150 a week. With 4, it really starts to get up there!
Remember, you are the captain of this ship, take control. Tell him if he doesn't feel he needs to contribute, then a selfish relationship isn't what you signed up for.
2007-02-25 05:22:25 · answer #1 · answered by Jennifer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had this problem before myself. The answer I usually got was"I dont live here, why should I have to pay" , Listen, if he is there 6 days a week, he needs to be paying 1/2 the rent/utilities/food etc. Although if his 2 kids are there every other weekend, it sounds like he is a permanant resident. If you dont want him to move in, which it sounds like he already is, then limit him to 2-3 nights a week and when he brings the kids, have him bring over groceries for them. If he insists on 6 nights, then tell him ok, but now you are my roomate, and you want 1/2 of everything for the house. You are being way too generous and kind. Put your foot down before you have bill collectors calling and getting the utilities cut off.
2007-02-25 12:40:23 · answer #2 · answered by mlock123 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's one thing that's being overlooked here and it's really
Important, unless you need his money to survive. What I'm
talking about are your children, you don't mention their ages
by I assure you that this has a very profound effect on them
in many different aspects of their life. Unless you are dependent
on that extra money, if it were me I'd chose solitude. My reason
for this is simple, you don't know how they are being impacted
by this lifestyle, but it's certain they Are! I am a parent myself,
and one practice I find helpful is to try and get into their minds.
Once I accomplish this, I try and Feel what they are feeling,
See what they are seeing, Hear what they are hearing,
because their perception, and ours a very different. Please
don't think I'm in any way Implying that you're not a good
parent. Sometimes outsiders can see things that we can
not, that's all I'm Implying here....good luck to you and yours
2007-02-25 13:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by jon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you kidding me? listen, i am going to be straight with you, he leaches off of you and you need the cash, he should willingly pay for every bit of his usage plus extra to help you out, free food, etc. you are his slave and he knows this, why? because you are a divorcee with kids so he looks down on you. Would he treat a beautiful single girl with no former marriage [or children] this way?? of course not, he sees you as 2'nd class, only good to be used.
Do you need a 'man' in the house that badly?? sorry but what a poor examble of motherhood for your children. Get rid of that fool today, and find a man who respects you and picks you up for real dates, and gain self respect.
2007-02-25 13:03:10 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he wants to stay over thats fine but he can shower eat and so on at his own place your not a free ticket for food.. He has to understand your situation if he doesn't you have the wrong man!! Stay firm your doing the right thing.. And if he wants to stay there 6 nights a week why not stay the other one and move in and pay his way??
2007-02-25 12:35:27 · answer #5 · answered by BLONDE BEAUTY 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you need to get rid of this guy, clearly he isn't going to offer you the happiness and security you are looking for. He's walkin' all over you and causing you to suffer, is that what someone does that loves/cares about you? He's strictly in it for the fun, take the kids over to your place(instead of spending one on one time with his children)and let them hang out, that's not parenting, that is being used. Your right, you can't afford him, not financially, not anyway, kick him to the curb and don't pick up the garbage.
2007-02-25 12:49:36 · answer #6 · answered by fisherwoman 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Financial problems are the #1 offenders in relationships. This is good that it happened now ... and a huge Red Flag. The problem is he does not respect or value you and what you bring to the relationship. You may need to teach him how to treat women, obviously no one has. Or move on. There are men out there who are supportive and overly indulge their women.
2007-02-25 12:36:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think $100 a month minimum, depends on what the difference is before he started coming over and now. Chow
2007-02-25 12:34:11 · answer #8 · answered by Clipper 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends upon ur place of Residence and also cost of living there.
Still In my opinion the cost of Living must be shared by both partners, So, He must share at least half of your house hold expenses.
U should chat with him and demand ......
2007-02-25 12:40:40 · answer #9 · answered by AVANISH JI 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your right susan. You should at least make him pay for half. If not then leave him and just move on.
2007-02-25 12:35:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋