Military Husband breaks trust!?

Question

My husband and I have been married for 5 months and we are already having problems. He has just confessed to talking to a few girls while he was in boot camp. He got on a singles website and contacted girls based on there pictures. He said he talked about sex with most but one he talked to about his life (not telling her he was engaged or that i was 6 months pregnant). Another girl he talked to lived here and he use to talk to her before he meet me. And they talked about sex.
He says that he never aced on anything...he just wanted to find out if I was what he really wanted.
What do I do? Do i believe that he never fu*ked these girls or what do I do? He did this while I was pregnant... Now our little girl is 3 months! i LOVE HIM BUT i DONT TRUST HIM!

Answer 1

My ex decided he wanted to become a swinger 3 months before we were supposed to get married with our best married friends. He told me that he wasn't satisfied only being with me and that he wanted to know what other women were like. I never could trust him after that. It hurts. It sucks. There is no way to feel other than betrayed! I am sorry that you are going through all of this, especially with a new baby. Focus on your new love and tell him to get on with his dumbass! You are too valuable to have to question every move that he is making.

Answer 2

Here's my take, it takes a strong marriage to make it through a military enlistment much less a military career. I know, I'm there too as another Navy wife.

Early in our marriage DH spent $300 or there about on calls to a sex line when I flew home to be in a friend's wedding. I never felt so betrayed as when I got that phone bill. I cried a lot but we talked about it and he did care about the hurt it caused me. Since I had no proof that anything else ever happened I choose to go with trust. Had I not my marriage could have ended after less than a year but we're celebrating our 15th year this on midnight of the 28th of February. Our plan is to one day be the oldest married couple who starts the dancing at the Navy and/or Submarine Birthday Balls.

If you feel after having talked to him that he cares about you and that he can re-earn your trust than it can be very, very worth it to try again.

Answer 3

Unfortunately it is the nature of the beast! In my old Army unit, the divorce rate was 90%. Everyone cheated. What goes on at school/deployment/TDY....stays at school/deployment/TDY. I know I will get flack for saying all this, but it is true.

I was out at the bar with the women from the Family Support Group looking or men, only a few hours after our husbands went off to war.

I think it's just the type of life it is. Not making excuses, just the way it is.

Answer 4

if you don't trust him then things will never work out, and most couples can't get passed that. If he wanted to find out if you was what he really wanted he should of done this before he married you. this is not fair to you nor the baby. he is a looser and this is never going to work out. might want to talk about your seperation due to him being away, you will never be able to trust him. he has made the wound that now takes a life time to heal. once it heals there will always be the scar. might want to think about it.

Answer 5

once your trust is broken its hard to regain trust ever again.. espescially when he did this when you were 6 months pregnant.What was his excuse he just wanted to check if he really wanted to be with you or not? it seems to be that he's making up excuses for his behavior.. You said it yourself you love him but don't trust him trust is big part of your relationship if you can't trust a person then what's your relationship worth saving for? he talked about sex may be sooner or later he'll act upon it..