My husband doesn't trust me?

Question

I am a recovering drug addict. I have just completed six months in patient treatment. The whole time I was in treatment my husband wrote to me and said that I had to prove to him I was going to stay sober this time. I love him with all my heart. When I got out I moved in with my mom because he did not want me to come home. Well now he is saying its over because he has lost his trust in me and without it there is no relationship. What can I do to regain his trust and to prove to him I have changed when he won't even talk to me or see me. I am lost for what to do. I have changed alot and I know if he would only try and trust me he would not be let down

Answer 1

CONGRATULATIONS on your sobriety. All you can do is live your life the best way you can.
I've lived around enough drug addicts to understand what your husband is going through. Give him time and maybe he will see that you are ready to stay sober. He may come around, he may not..
As I'm sure you learned in rehab, there's only one person you can fix. Yourself. If your husband can't handle your history, try to move past it. I know it will be extremely painful but when we have certain lifestyles or make certain choices, we have to pay for them.
Don't lose faith. You have worked hard for your sobriety and it is worth keeping, even without your husband. Good luck to you. Your life is just beginning.

Answer 2

First off congratulations on completing your treatment and getting off drugs. Good for you!

I am sure your husband went through a lot with you prior to you going to treatment. He is probably a little scared of going down that road again. Take baby steps and show him you are not going to do drugs again. Ask him to have dinner with you once or twice a week but don't talk about you moving back in. Let him see the new you and then let him go home. He will then yearn to see you the next time.

Promise yourself and him that you will not do drugs again. Be strong! You have come along way. I am rooting for you!

Good luck!

Answer 3

Congratulations on recovering from your addiction.

But recovery as you are aware is now a life long battle, you will always want more of something than the next person.

In this case, you want more love and more trust.

These are also manifestations of the addiction. We never give up an addition we just transfer it.

My suggestion is to put every fiber of your recovery into learning a new skill like a musical instrument or a language. Put love on hold until it comes back to you, and focus focus focus on harnessing your addictive personality into genius.

Become someone else and in the process you will heal yourself and those around you.

Answer 4

trust, when it is lost sometimes, can never be regained, and i feel that if the relationship was to be back together, there will always be that silently hanging over the heads of both of you,
i have to commend you on all your work to try to make yourself a better person, and the courage it must of took to join rehab, must of been a very scary experience, and you will probaly have to struggle with that for a long time,
based on what you wrote, it sounds like your husband does not want to give you a second chance, and he may of possiably already moved on mentaly, but supports you through your rehab process, its very sad, that this situation has happened, and i hope beyond hope that you stay clean, even though it may seem you have loss the love of your life,
communication is so important, and not being able to communicate with him, must be hard, and although you are willing to take the first step, he must take one to, for it to work.
it seems that your husband may of choosen another path, or need time to rethink the relationship, and unfortunatly, he made it clear that it is one with out you, and that is a very sad situation, becasue you have put all the work into being better and trying so hard to prove your love and trust, and it does not seem fair at all..
i think the only thing now for you to do is trust in yourself first and formost, and continue day by day, getting on with your life, and staying clean, life has a funny way of falling into place, and you may find in time, you may be happier, with someone who does trust, trust cant be proved, it is earned with respect and love, and honesty in life, i want to wish you the best of luck

Answer 5

that is really tough. If he does learn to trust you again, it will take time. Even if you have changed 100%, he is going to need time to observe these changes for him to be comfortable give you his trust again. My best advice is to keep on the good work of being sober and hopefully over time he will observe this and everything will work out. If not and he never trusts you again, then staying sober will help you live a better life and eventually you can attract other relationships.

Answer 6

The best wya to prove to him that you are sober is by following the treatment exactly as the rehab oganization instructed. Over the next 6 months go to the meetings, take the medications (if they prescibed any), and go to your doctor appointments, etc. By doing all of that and staying away from individuals who might tempt you, you will be well on your way to proving your sobriety to him.

Answer 7

It's going to take time. You are going to have to be sober for several years before the people around you start to trust you again. In the mean time, try to stay focused on staying sober for yourself. If you feel like you are doing it for someone else, and they don't believe in you, you may be more inclined to backslide, thinking "why should I even try, if my husband doesn't believe me". Good luck.

Answer 8

First of all, congrats. on getting yourself off of the drugs. Why don't you ask your husband if you can start all over. Start at learning to be friends again. Then if there is still a spark there it will grow again, and you all will fall in love all over again. I know that it sounds sappy but maybe it isn't that your husband doesn't trust you, maybe he just doesn't know who you are when you are off drugs. I hope it all works out, but if it doesn't just remember, that there is someone out there who will make you happy and love you for who you are. Good luck, and I hope it all works out.

Answer 9

sometimes it is to late before one wakes up. you may have lost him this time for good. he may have moved on with someone else and don't wnt to tell you right now. all you can do is be who you are today and live one day at a time and hope he sees this and comes back. if not then you have to live with what you have done, cause like he said when there is no trust there is no relationship.

Answer 10

Now this is going to take time, for you and him also. The sad part of this, is you are going to have to prove to him that you have changed, and it may have to be done at a distance. But you can do it, Do not let this throw you for a loop, you have a lot of work to do, so just keep working on yourself, and I am routing for you, it is not going to be easy, and you can do it, but you have to do it for yourself!