When asked they say they won't leave him/her because they love them. But surely they have some pride ? Or do these people actually enjoy being beaten up ?
2007-02-25 04:02:18 · 31 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Fear - Women fear the physical harm that might come if they attempt to leave.
Love - Women may truly have deep feelings for the abusive partner.
Promises - Promises that this abuse will never happen again.
Abuse = Love - Confusion between being loved and being controlled by their partner.
Guilt - Being made to think that the abuse is their fault, that they have the problem.
Not Being Believed - A strong fear that nobody will believe them if they speak out against the abuse.
Thinking They Can Change Them - The belief that over time the woman can change the abusive partner.
Low Self-Esteem - After being in an abusive relationship there is a feeling that they can do no better than their current relationship.
Being Alone - To end the relationship could mean a loss of mutual friends, relatives and others associated with the relationship.
Financial - Money, children and no place to go also hold women in these relationships.
2007-02-25 04:05:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
honestly, the main reason is fear. Fear of their partner if they try to leave, fear of not finding better out there and that this is the best they think they deserve. Sometimes its kids that will make someone stay. A lot of this is low self esteem and a feeling like you really dont deserve to be happy. For some people abuse is all they have ever known. Some people actually would prefer being beaten physically as opposed to emotionally because a bruise will heal eventually. I have a great deal of knowledge on this subject. There are really too many answers to this question. It is a very hard subject and most people that are abused dont talk of it very much. I wish that whoever this is, if it is you or someone you know, to please encourage and support the person being abused. That is truly the best thing you can do for that person. I really honestly wish you luck.
2007-02-25 12:12:07 · answer #2 · answered by mlock123 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Different women have different reasons. There may be some women who can't leave because they couldn't support themselves and/or their children. There are probably those with little self esteem or who are insecure and won't leave because they somehow feel validated by their man. There are probably other women who are hopeful that it will stop, like maybe the guy promised it wouldn't happen again. There may be some who are scared to leave after being threatened. And there could possibly be others who love their man despite the abuse and want to work it out. I can only guess though because I have never been in this situation. But my family and I witnessed a close relative go through this and we always wondered why she didn't leave after being beaten repeatedly. She would come crying to us over and over but after a while it was like, what more can we say but leave the bastard? It was tiring. She eventually left him for her own reasons, but I can tell she is not all there upstairs when I talk to her. I think she has been emotionally scarred and damaged for life.
2007-02-25 12:09:12 · answer #3 · answered by Dana Katherine 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I was a victim of physical abuse for 13 years. I convinced myself that I couldn't leave because of love when in reality, I didn't want anyone to know that I was terrified to leave. I have 2 beautiful girls who went through alot while I was trying to find the courage to leave the relationship. You have to understand that when you are abused, your perpetrator always tells you he will kill you and your family if you try to leave or he will commit suicide. You have no choice to believe this when you are "inside the box" because you can't see past your own situation. No woman enjoys being beat up, infact, it is the most frightening thing you can endure. I am at peace with my life, I still hide today but have turned all the years of abuse into a strength and determination that I can make it out there. I have raised my daughters and they are great, hard working girls who are my greatest pride. I have become a very important person in my career and strive to help assist others in their journey to freedom. That is not the profession I am in, but I do hope to help someone atleast on this site who is in the same situation I was in.
2007-02-25 12:15:11 · answer #4 · answered by inkinheaven 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What is happening is far deeper than what most may understand. Abusive relationship are co-dependent relationship much like a being in relationship with an alcoholic.
While it is a self-esteem assure you many women believe they deserve this type of treatment. In many cases women bring out the abusiveness in a man. Men and woman that are co-dependent seek out each other. It is an interesting phenomenon. There could be a million people out there to choose from but these people somehow they find each other.
To end the cycle of abuse both people will have to get help to solve there emotional issues. If not they will continue to have relationship with these issues.
2007-02-25 12:19:59 · answer #5 · answered by T-Rex 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
they are co dependent and think that they can fix it, they do love that person, but being in the abuse so long causes them to feel it is somehow normal, being abused always destroys ones self worth, the abused may somehow feel she or he deserves it. i do not feel these poor souls actually enjoy being beaten up. much of it is not being financially well off enough to leave, fearing their future, fearing being abandoned. so they stay and take it, thinking it is love because they just have their own reality, and if they have let it go on say for years, they will think this way of life is normal.
2007-02-25 12:08:53 · answer #6 · answered by jude 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's really not about loving them. People who are physically abused usually lack some self-esteem in the first place. Then, someone beats them into believing that nobody can ever love them as much as their abuser. It's also very hard to leave someone that you may have known for years
2007-02-25 12:06:34 · answer #7 · answered by nicoleblingy2003 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
More complex than that. Very often there are financial contingencies that prevent the woman from leaving the man and it also is a big decision to take when there are children in the family. Most women sacrify themselves for their chidren's sake.
There are not always social structures at hand to come to the help of women. Beating or other abuses have been considered for a long time as skeletons in the cupboard, not to be talked of outside the family circle.
The victim also often puts the blame on herself on acknowledging the failure in the relationship.
For all these reasons they carry on enduring their predicament.
2007-02-25 12:15:56 · answer #8 · answered by Miss Bo 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
The human brain is modeled around patterns. We love to be able to predict our environments - prediction is the essence of any organism's survival - even humans.
This is what people hate to change, because change means that we need to rewire the brain for a whole new set of familiar patterns and predictions.
People who accept abusive relationships have adapted to the pattern of abuse. So the patten of abuse is now familiar, they haven't died yet and so it is less horrible to them than it is to us who observe it as outside our familiar patterns.
So to leave the abusive person means to face a whole new set of life's patterns which themselves are uncertain.
They don't enjoy the pain, the have been desensitized to it and hence they accept it. They also rationalize that acceptance in the framework of love, or the kids, or religion or something greater than themselves that keeps them there.
2007-02-25 12:10:50 · answer #9 · answered by zenmaster55555 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They stay with them for the security purposes. Some think that if they leave the guy then there will be no one else out there who wants them. They think that anything is better than being alone.The abuser mostly makes them believe this about themselves and lowers their self esteem with mental abuse. Sometimes it can be a financial thing or sometimes they actually think it's better to stay because they have kids together, which is NOT true.
2007-02-25 12:08:17 · answer #10 · answered by So'sYerFace 4 · 2⤊ 2⤋