In desperate need of help to salvage my relationship!!?

Question

Is it worth it? Should I keep trying..?
I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He is very kind, respectful, funny and we share the same beliefs. We rarely fight, which we both love. However, for the past month or so I have had weird feelings, and I question whether or not I want to be with him. Its really weird because Ive never gone through this before. I feel like I just want 'me time,' to hang out with my friends, focus on school and sports and not have to call him and what not, and lately every little thing he does annoys me. I have tried taking a break with him, but I cried for two days straight and couldn't do it. I dont really have the will to partake in sexual activities, either. But then again, when I think of certain songs it reminds me of how things used to be and it makes me really happy and sad at the same time, because I have hope that things could be like that again

ps-my feelings have nothing to do with anything he's done wrong, & he is intelligent

Answer 1

it's just a natural change. You are young. Neither of you did anything wrong.. It's just they way our bodies work.
Your natural instincts at this stage in life are to be unattached. Free.
Sew your wild oats... so to speak.


You will be fine. Just talk to him about it and let him know what you are going through. I'm sure he is probably feeling the same way.

If you talk it over you might be able to take a break and remain friends... BUT the thing you have to remember is you were/are in love. Jealousy will always rear it's ugly lil head. So if you are able to be apart for a long period of time you will not be able to see each other with someone else. BE WARNED!

Now... If you can remain friends... One of two things is going to happen....
Either you are going to remember why you were with each other in the first place and fall back into the love category...
Or you are going to realize that you are better off apart or as friends.
Either way you will be fine.

HOPE THAT HELPS




.

Answer 2

You don't say how old you are in your question, that would be relevant. Relationships take work. All relationships go through a period where there is a rut. You have to decide whether you want to make it work or not. Perhaps a little time apart would help you to decide that. Why don't you go on a vacation without him and agree not to call for a week. See how you feel when you get back. You could try doing something new together to make the relationship exciting again. It seems that, if there is nothing wrong, you are just tired of the same old thing. A new thing may be much worse and you will regret losing a good guy.

Answer 3

Relationships go through many phases over their course. Long successful relationships are not happy and perfect through their span. If you don't think you want out of the relationship and neither of you has done something to screw up maybe you need to redefine the relationship. Lack of sexual interest could be depression, if you have other manifestations of depression you may want to look into that.
Taking a break doesn't have to mean breaking up. You could always suggest a set period of time where you don't speak or see each other to get some perspective. You may find you come back with fresh ideas and a new outlook on the relationship. I'm thinking a week to a month, with the agreement you are still in a relationship and won't see other people during that time. This would give you a 'safe' space and time to think about things. And if you haven't talked to him about these feelings, you should.
Being "in love" comes and goes in long relationships. We buy into the whole "happily ever after" and "fade into the sunset" we see in the movies. Reality is different. Relationships are work.

Answer 4

Hi Manda *,

I'm sorry to hear about your delema.

Your feeling this way because something inside of you is telling you that this is not the guy you want to be with for the rest of your life. Which is totally o.k. Could it also be that your going through this during that time of the month? (just a thought)

You sound like a very sweet, kind and caring woman who is in a relationship that you do, and don't want to be which is tearing you up in some ways. Remember there are always other fish in the sea. Just be kind to him if you decide to break it up with him for good.

There is a part of you that does not like him (this is why your finding faults with him if he has not don't anything wrong) or he has done or said something wrong and your sub con. is trying to give you a message.

By the way if your feeling this way aobut him now imigine how you would feel if you were living with him.

Listen to your heart, because at the end of the day you have to do what is best for you.

Best wishes,

Sincerely,
Buster

Answer 5

You are just growing up, and realizing that there is more to life than just him. It's normal at your age. Mixed feelings about the guy in your life (love or not). You been away from him and you're starting to experience the real world. You never know he may have the same mixed feelings about you too. In the real world we have time for family and friends both. If you two grow apart then it was meant to be. Good luck.

Answer 6

Sometimes you get these feelings, especially if you've been in a relationship for a longer period. When things start feeling secure, unfortunately, most of us are ready for a change. If you truly love this guy you know what to do. Stick to him. There aren't that many guys like him around. Could it be that you might be getting a bit of the cold feet syndrome? Truth is that many couples have to work a bit harder to keep the relationship going after the rosy glasses period is over.

Answer 7

I am curious as to how old you are, it sounds like the two of you need to take some time apart with the understanding you love each other but have some growing up to do. Maybe just agree to slow things up some see each other less throughout the week unless you really want to see each other dont just do things because you think you should do things together because you want to.

Answer 8

You're depressed and need something to excite you. Do something you like to do WITH him. Go to the beach or the mountains, somewhere that makes you happy. Create some new feelings for your guy. The grass is not always greener on the other side and this guy sounds like a keeper.
Talk to him with love in your heart. Tell him how you feel. If he is the man you think he is he will respond with love.

Answer 9

I know its not easy to come on here and ask such a question, but I honestly believe that you should have a break. Cry, feel bad. Think of all the good times and the bad, remember how charming and annoying he is. Go out, socialize, do school, but don't take to long to make up your mind, he might get away.

Answer 10

You have been with him for along time. The novelty has worn off. It doesn't mean you don't love him but perhaps you are secure enough in the relationships to have a life and not worry about losing him. Talk with him about how you feel, you should focus on school, invite him to go out with you and your friends and too watch you play sports or play with you, everybody wants sex all the time but you are worried about your relationship so you're backing away. Just have sex with him for sex sakes and have fun with it like put on costumes or pretend you are in porn.