Is there a way to bring back the fire?

Question

My hubby & are having some hard times. He says he loves me but he has this look in his eyes. The fire has turned into a flicker, or gone out. He says he wants someone with drive & ambition. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I have a child & that is no excuse, but I want to focus on her because everyone else seems too busy to. I don't know what my niche in life is. Some say to just dive out there to see if you will swim or sink. The thing is I don't know what body of water to focus on swimming in. I love my husband but I don't know if I can take our relationship being the way it is. I almost feel pressure to kinda just pick something, but I know that shouldn't be the way to go about my life. I don't want to do something just for him to notice & the fire come back. What if what I want just seems more simple that what he wants. I don't know.......

Answer 1

try some pornos and sexy lingerie, if that doesn't do it for him then it's something else. It may be time to move on. Unless you want blah, blah, blah in your life.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like your husband feels like he's been put on the back burner and that's a very hurtful feeling for a man. I know that you only want what is best for your child, but unless you take care of hubby, the two of you will end up along. You need to concentrate on your marriage and your livelihood. There is nothing more attractive than a woman that can carry her own, and it would benefit your marriage tremendously. This country has a shortage of nurses, the shortage is so bad, that they are willing to pay for your college. Below are some web sites that you can get financing for college, education and knowledge are power.
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http://www.schoolsoup.com/
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http://www.fafse.ed.gov.com/
Please take some time with your husband, put the child in child care and show your husband that he still is number one in your life. Talk to him and tell him that you can go to college and help with the finances. You two are in this together, pull together as a team.

Answer 3

This happens to people that have goals and dreams of things that they want or want to accomplish. And if the other is just content with what they have then it makes the one with the goals and dreams feel like they are alone in achieving them. I kind of feel the same way as your husband. my husband is happy with what we have , sure he wants things but has no ambition to get out there and make it happen, and that turns me off. I work allot of overtime and am always thinking of new ways to achieve something to better the house or to get something we really want. Him, he will stop working when he reaches his 8 hours if he is tired, and that makes me crazy because if there is overtime available to me , I jump at it. I think if you try and understand that he is just wanting you to be more ambitious to achieve the dreams he may have for the two of you , you might see that fire again. Help him, don't be a heavy burden for him to carry while he is trying.

Answer 4

The fire is probably not out, it just needs to be re-sparked. If you love him, and he loves you - then it is worth it to work on it. Everything is not always going to be perfect - and relationships take time, and commitment. If you think it is going to be easy - you've been watching too much TV.

Get a counselor and see where the rub is between the both of you. If it's not there anylonger, move on.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Sit down with a job counselor or take some aptitude test for low prices. You have to balance your passion, motherhood and being a wife. Overall just remember to take care of yourself first.

Answer 6

you cant do this alone. you both need to talk and try to work on this together