Okay, so there was this girl I knew that went to middle school with me and I knew her from 6th grade to 8th grade, but we didn't really start becomming friends until 8th grade. When we did become friends, though, she began to physically and verbally abuse me. This went on all through 8th grade, and then we went to high school and I haven't seen her since the last day of 8th grade. And for the record, I'm now a freshman in high school. And several months ago I began to realize that I missed her. I always just tried to convince myself that I was wrong, but is it possible to miss an abuser after not seeing her for months?
2007-02-25 03:05:29 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I do have a lot of friends in high school now, and they are all amazing. And my mom did take me to see a counselor about her, but it didn't work because I kept convincing the counselor that it really wasn't all that bad and that my mom was just overreacting since I didn't go until about a month after I started high school, and this was about the time that I really started to miss her.
2007-02-25 03:14:55 · update #1
Okay. Two more things to say. One thing is that I know for a fact that she was sexually abused as a child by her mother's boyfriend, so she now lives with her dad. And also, everybody seems to be mentioning that I still feel attached to her because we had a lot of good times, too, but I was thinking about it and I realized that I absolutely cannot remember any time that I was having a good time with her. It's more like bad and worse, not good and bad.
2007-02-25 03:34:25 · update #2
Abusers have a way of making the abused need them or believe they do, please try and stay away from her, I agree that there are "toxic" people and you need to steer clear. Do some research and it may help you deal w this need to see her.
2007-02-25 03:16:44 · answer #1 · answered by Polly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its very possible to miss someone regardless if they were hurtful or not. However, if you miss her its probably because you and her did have some good times together. In every relationship wether its friendship or not you always have good and bad memories in your case you had someone who probably did not know how to expres themselves and being verbally abusive was a way of hers to show their feelings. However, since this person is no longer in your life its best to just keep it llike that. You're better off without her and it'll do you no good if you have someone like that in your life.
2007-02-25 11:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by NENA 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get involved in activities that will give you a chance to develop relationships with other people. You will find nice people who treat you right. Sadly, the girl who abused you has many problems. It just goes to show how much impact a person can have on your life if you still miss her after the way she treated you. Choose your friends wisely and respect yourself.
2007-02-25 11:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We desperately seek friednship from anyone who will give us attention positive and negative. In the long-term abuse can lead to so many problems. You have to ask yourself is this worth it? Try to make friends who won't hurt you. Join a club at school or create a study group. Wish you all the best in this painful time.
2007-02-25 11:12:21 · answer #4 · answered by Noree 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you're saying. It's something like a married couple when the man abuses the woman. Because she loves him, she can't let go knowing that he hurts her. I know throughout the friendship, y'all did have good times. It's natural. Whatever you do, don't sit around & take her abuse. I wish you the best!
2007-02-25 11:14:35 · answer #5 · answered by Lania 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's very possible.
Don't call the girl to hang out though. You don't deserve a friend like that.
You could just be lonely- so make new friends! Join clubs or sports at school, join chats or groups online!
Do whatever it takes to keep your mind off that friend who wasn't exactly a friend anyway.
2007-02-25 11:09:51 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to contact her. If your life you will meet people that aren't good for you (toxic people) or people you only know for a short period of time. Take the lessons learned from that situation and move on.
2007-02-25 11:09:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
yes my question is did you ever try to talk with her about it how was she brought up was she treated like that and thinks its ok to treat other people that way if i was you i would do some homework on her and see what you come up with maybe gods trying to tell you to help her and show her not to treat people that way and maybe your just the right person to teach her not to treat people that way . maybe she realizes what a friend she lost too
2007-02-25 11:20:03 · answer #8 · answered by family fan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please seek out a counselor at your school. It's not healthy to want to be with someone who is abusive to you and yet it is very common with people who are in the "cycle of abuse."
2007-02-25 11:10:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it depends on what you mean by physical and verbal abuse. are you thinking of reporting her and now you miss her? i'm confused.
2007-02-25 11:14:44 · answer #10 · answered by dcarcia@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋