"My biggest mistake was lifting weights too much, going on a dangerous diet, and not doing my homework in high school."
Thanks for any advice on rewording this thesis statement.
2007-02-25 02:56:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Homework Help
Hi,
You can work with what you have there. However, I think you should change the word "mistake" to the plural form since you go on to list more than one thing. You should follow it with the word "were" instead of "was" for subject-verb agreement.
Good luck.
2007-02-25 03:09:19 · answer #1 · answered by julie j 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with the second answer. Is this a college essay? You shouldn't have such an obvious, high-school-style listed thesis statement. Try to make it more creative but to the point as the other answer stated.
2007-02-25 03:03:18 · answer #2 · answered by salsablaeu 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure it is. Those sound like different aspects of a larger problem.
For example, a thesis statement such as "The problems I had during my teenage years had [effect]."
Then in the rest of the paper, use those examples as to why they affected you
2007-02-25 02:59:55 · answer #3 · answered by crzywriter 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think that your thesis statement is a very well written one and should not be reworded at all.
2007-02-25 03:02:44 · answer #4 · answered by Blue Rose Thorn 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Not really. You start with "My biggest mistake was " - which should be followed by one thing- and then go on to list three mistakes you made. Why not something like "How did I end up in this condition? The follies of youth!"
2007-02-25 03:10:40 · answer #5 · answered by coffee 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes it sounds good to me and by looking at it I can already tell what the essay is going to be about
2007-02-25 02:58:47 · answer #6 · answered by jamaican babe 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Weights, dangerous, homework.."
2007-02-25 03:10:12 · answer #7 · answered by ymargoud 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋