I have a gf and we are happy with our relationship which is almost 4 years now. We do the things that a couple normally do. We've gone to hotel and do some sexual acts but not actual penetration. I can sense that she wants it already so I'm trying to avoid being alone with her. I want to preserve her virginity for our honeymoon and i respect her and her parents. I know that its not totally respect because I've done things that i should not have done but i really want to take her virginity after marriage. Am i strange for believing and doing this things?
2007-02-25 02:00:30 · 17 answers · asked by arnold l 1 in Health ➔ Women's Health
It is admirable that you wish to wait to take your future wife's virginity until you are married, but avoiding being alone with her might send her the wrong message. If you do not have the strength to be alone with her simply to talk or enjoy one another's company, she might begin to think later on that any time you are alone with any woman, you cannot be trusted. Or that you do not wish to be with your wife in a one-on-one situation unless you are having sex.
If you think that she has different ideas, i.e., she wants sex before marriage and you do not, get her alone (yes, alone) and talk to her about your thoughts on the subject. She may not feel the same way you do about it and both of you may need to compromise to preserve the relationship for the long-term.
Also you say you have done things you should not have done. Does this mean you have had other women besides her during your relationship? This is unclear from your wording but forgive me if I draw the wrong conclusion. If this is the case, then you need to rethink your noble ambitions and intentions concerning your relationship. Respect extends to trust and if she can't trust you not to play around before marriage, then she won't be able to afterwards either.
Just evaluate what kind of things you are doing and thinking in order to preserve the idea of a pure wife and determine whether they are causing you to compromise values that will be important to maintaining your relationship over the long run.
2007-02-25 02:24:20 · answer #1 · answered by Black Dog 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is now common, notwithstanding it oftentimes factors to a complicated point of lack of self belief on the area of the girl (and adult males, too, who obsess on the undertaking). that would not immediately point out a substantial concern, notwithstanding it does recommend which you would be able to take a step back and attempt to work out despite if or no longer you're overemphasizing this one ingredient of what could be a deep and multifaceted dating. What could be happening on his area is, he feels threatened and in line with danger a tiny bit suffocated via your eagerness to get it on so oftentimes. ask your self this: are you banging him this oftentimes as a fashion to make it greater durable for him to amend the dating, as in flow away you? that's relatively as probably tocontinual him away as that's to hold him tight to you. on an identical time, many a guy could supply his ideal arm for a woman such as you. i could've, back when I have been a youthful warthog! the single time i got here upon a woman who became into fascinated as oftentimes as i became into, she became out to be a serial monogamist - she'd befriend a guy and spend various months convincing him he'd got here upon heaven in the international - then she'd discover yet another and supply the former dude the boot - guy, became into that ever a letdown! I grew to alter right into a sort of careful dudes like your present day BF - and that i'm valuable you will agree, for good reason. So, wait and spot. do no longer smother the guy. how you will make it final particularly than preserving a doggone scorecard and you will the two be happier.
2016-10-01 23:06:01 · answer #2 · answered by matchett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My boyfriend and i spent many nights together without having intercourse. We've been together for 2 years and just started having sex a month ago.
I think it's honorable of you to want to wait till you two are married to have sex. However, you make it sound as though you haven't discussed your wishes with her. You definitely should tell her how you feel.
2007-02-25 17:14:31 · answer #3 · answered by learning_to_live_616 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have bigger problem than you realize ; you want to preserve something that your fiance` doesn't want preserved and quite honestly it's not yours to save. She's an adult woman ,she is very much aware of the ramifications of her actions and she has made a personal decision to have sex with you before you guys get married. You should respect that decision and have sex with her . After all you are not taking her virginity , she is giving it to you.
Good luck.
2007-02-25 03:21:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
"Normal" is a useless term. Do what is normal for you. If you believe in waiting until after marriage to have intercourse, then that is normal FOR YOU. You should talk to her about this, though. Don't avoid the issue. In the same way that we encourage girls to stand by their beliefs when it comes to sex, you need to do what's right for you. She should respect your decision.
2007-02-25 02:05:16 · answer #5 · answered by swbiblio 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you religous? If not, then why should it matter? If you are going to marry her anyway, does it really make a difference if you do it now or later?
I think this is strange and I would never go for it personally, but everyone is different and you should just do what is right for both of you. Don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
2007-02-25 02:05:39 · answer #6 · answered by Bipolar Bear 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everybody is strange if you compare them with the right people. Anyway, you are not the first to wait until marriage so I'm going to say No.
2007-02-25 02:04:42 · answer #7 · answered by scruffy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is strange? Is it seeking others approve or disapproval on your values in life.
There is nothing wrong with having values or goals set higher then that which the world as dictated impractical.
The question should be how do you feel about yourself and the decissions you have made.
2007-02-25 02:07:53 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal to me. You just think that way. Its your way of thinking. But maybe you should discuss it with her maybe she doesnt feel she wants to wait. She migth feel strong enough for yout that she wants to give it up to you. Its a matter of choice and you have to discuss it openly with her and not be guided by these answers too much.. yea they help a lot but you cant base your decision on them ;-)
2007-02-25 04:00:12 · answer #9 · answered by .....!! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can believe what ever you wish. Just don't force your beliefs upon others.
Discuss it with her. Maybe she has changed her mind about waiting.
2007-02-25 02:04:12 · answer #10 · answered by Plasmapuppy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋