How do I tell my Friend that he is a Horrible boyfriend without hurting her?

Question

My freind, has this awful boyfreind. I went to the movies and the mall with them a few days ago, and I met him. he is TERRIBLE! He is very imature and disgusting. All he did the whole time was complain, and complain about people he knows and blah blah blah! He swears excesivly, and he wouldnt let me and my freind shop for a few minutes because he "hates" shopping. He wouldnt even hold my freinds hand or give her a kiss goodbye and they have been dating for 2 months! How do I tell her that this guy is a loser! She is completly infatuated with him, its crazy! She is totaly wasting her time, when she could find another guy worthy of her!

Answer 1

Unfortunately, women are stubborn when it comes to the men we love. You just have to let her figure it out for herself and be there to pick up the pieces if it doesn't work out. I would only intervene if he is physically hurting her.

Answer 2

Okay, sweetie...here's the thing...YOU are a great friend who genuinely cares about your girlfriend, and she is lucky to have you for a friend, too....BUT..if ur gurl is smitten with this loser, there's NOTHING you can say or do and NOTHING ANYONE ELSE can say or do to make her "see the light"!! IN fact, sometimes the more people tell her he's a loser, the closer she'll become to this loser, and throw caution to the wind! TRUST ME!! Why? Because I loved a LOSER and EVERYONE tried telling me what a loser he was...and I married him anyway, dumped him later..after paying the price. Ofcourse I see NOW what a friggen loser he was..but you couldn't tell me at the time. So just walk beside her and be her friend...she'll come around sooner or later...and let's hope it's sooner!

Answer 3

Take a moment to reflect on why you are willing to stand in judgement of your friend's behavior. Do you think you would like to have someone do the same for you? People do things for their own peculiar reasons, especially when it comes to relationships. You can offer some advice if it's asked for but I'd stay away from stating outright that he's a "loser." You do that and you risk losing your friend. If he is, indeed, everything you say he is, your friend will hopefully recognize that eventually.

Answer 4

Your friend likes bad boys, doesn't she?

Your friend might not take this well, but you should give it a shot anyway. Sit down with her and tell her that you've noticed her boyfriend isn't treating her nicely. Don't attack him, but describe some of the actions he has taken (like not holding her hand and being rude). Do this once.

After that, your friend is on her own. She'll figure out that he's a jerk eventually.

Answer 5

Tell her that you need to have a talk with her, and tell her what you are saying to her, you are saying as a friend. and that you hope that she could be honest with you, if you was in the same boat as her, tell her that she need to take a long hard look. at her boyfriend, that you do not think he is a good positive person, for her, and you can give her some examples, about when you was out with them both. Tell her, she needs to find someone who is on her level, and he is not the one! Tell her that you value her friendship, and that you only want the best for her!

Answer 6

You never know, maybe he was putting on a public show. Sometimes women are blinded by love. If he really is a jerk, then she will find out in her own time. Don't ever bad mouth him, be supportive of your friends choice. HOWEVER, definetly let her know that you won't be shopping with her if he is there, because you don't care for his attitude/mouth/disrespect for you that he shows. Make sure she knows that you will be happy to do anything with her, with out him. DON'T bad mouth him though to her--that will put a wedge between the two of you, and if he really is horrible--she will see it soon enough. Unless there is some type of abuse, you are better to just let it play itself out.

Answer 7

I would say that, if you can find a way to say, "Hey, I care about and I think you deserve a boyfriend that respects you and treats you with kindness," that wouldn't be hurtful. I can't promise that she'll react well to anything you say if she doesn't want to hear it. A good friend will acknowledge that she absolutely has the right to make her own choices in the end.

Answer 8

You could do one of three things....you could tell her just what you told us, letting her know that he's rude and terrible...or you could let her figure it out for herself which will end up hurting her but at least you didn't have to...OR you could talk to the boyfriend and tell him to break up with her because of all the stuff you just told us.

You're her friend and you know her the best so decide which one would work best for her, but sometimes you just have to let people get their heart broken so they learn themselves what's a good boyfriend/girlfriend and what's not.

Answer 9

Ok .. so ive had mi fair share of tellin ppl about there bfs .. & mi best friend lik we were inseperateble .. we did everything together .. we were really goooood friends .. & i tolsd her that her bf ( which whom she had been goin out wiff for lik 2 daiis) i told her that he was on drugs & that he was hookin up wiff girls at skool ( she told me to tell her about nethin b/c she is hommeskooled ) & so i told her & she chose him over me & our entire friendship went down the drain & then she finally realized he was on drugs & he was cheating on her & he would get mad at her & send & email an FU email .. & so .. illont no .. but i suggest u should just let it go .. i kno itll b hard but .. girls get really weird wen it comes to guys . but if u do say somethin email me & let me kno the outcome ok ? [e-mail]

Answer 10

One thing you don't want to do is to meddle with her relationship. In time she may find out the poor qualities of him. You can jeopardize your friendship with her if you say anything about him that is derrogatory.