I had a Japanese female friend, who did some fun things with me. One day she invited me to dinner over her house, and her parents was also invited but she never told me. I arrived at her place a little eraly and I helped her set up and prepare her dinner. After I sat in the living room and her parents arrive and she introduce us. After that introduction in which her father refused to shake my hands, we went and sat down. Not a minute passed by her father stood up with an angry look on his face and said"I will not eat with this F*****g and the infamous N - word) well I Got up and left. Why didn't my friend stood up and say something, she never called me and I did not call her either. IS this a Japanese custom, not the prejudice part because that I think is in everyone. I mean is it a custom that a father can sat things like that to someone they never met? are Japanese women that docile that they can tell their father to get out? IS it also a Japanese custom to make Western remarks????
2007-02-25 01:17:45 · 7 answers · asked by herby t 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Other - Cultures & Groups
I think it's part of Japanese custom. But she should have stood up for you without telling her dad to get out.
Her father's probably too narrow-minded, and she couldn't say anything because that's just how she's brought up.
The difference between Japanese and Western customs are very big. But nowadays, the younger generations in the eastern part have broader mind. It takes time though, for them to embrace the western ettiquetes and attitudes.
I don't have prejudice against them. It's just we have different way of life, you see.
I'm sure your friend is a nice girl, she's respectful to her parents, it's her father who was too stiff.
2007-02-25 01:34:27 · answer #1 · answered by ira a 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
In a sense, yes. In traditional Japanese culture though, the father of any house hold supposedly holds supreme authority over everything that happens under the roof, so I think that power got a little above his head and he exploded at you. Many households in Japan no longer hold this tradition, eg mine, but there are still many others that hold this patriarchy. I'm terribly sorry that your meeting with the lady's family did not go well, but if my suggestions are: A) Continue to meet with your friend, but never mention or bring in her father into issues. B) Impress her father. Sadly enough, it is highly unlikely that a Japanese father, more over a stubborn one as you described, would have a change in heart, and so to win his respect impress him. I have no idea how you should, but Business success or etc should do it.
And as for the Western remarks, some people try it, seeing that it is foolish to direct an insult at a subject when they will not understand what you're saying.
2007-02-25 09:43:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
In a Japanese family the father is generally treated as the family's head. It is still like that, it's their way of living. Perhaps she didn't want to get on her father's bad side.
THe not shaking hands thing - Japanese don't shake hands and many don't even with Westerners so don't get offended over that.
2007-02-25 11:09:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It isn't simply because she is Japanese.
How long has she known her father and how long has she known you? Perhaps she wasn't prepared to ruin her relationship with her father. Perhaps she knows him better than you do and knows it would have turned out even worse if she had said something.
Some people are just more reserved, more quiet, less passionate about these things and deal with them in more subtle ways. Perhaps later she discussed this with her father in a calm rational way.
Either way, people say mean things to people whether they are Japanese or not, and people allow it, whether they are Japanese or not. People can be racist, no matter what their race.
2007-02-25 09:30:30 · answer #4 · answered by Peace 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Some Asians have a prejudice towards black people (so are many other cultures- Mexicans, Chinese, some American Indians....) and so you'll naturally find that a few will give you the "look."
But I don't expect a typical Japanese traditional man to be this rude.
2007-02-25 09:26:32 · answer #5 · answered by Benvenuto 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Japan has many different flavors or racism.
2007-02-25 09:54:22 · answer #6 · answered by XX 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The Japanese are actually quite racist in a sly way. They don't like whites and really don't like blacks. Sad but true.
2007-02-25 09:24:20 · answer #7 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 5⤋