Pushy bosses..?

Question

I have been signed off of work with depression.
My bosses phoned me on Saturday to "see how I was getting on"
then, during the conversation basically made me feel quite bad for being off and backed me into a corner by asking me to work a day next week because the boss was going on a course...and said that if I couldn't do it then she wouldn't be able to finish her course.
I don't want to go in, in fact I want to leave to find another, less stressful job tbh, so I thought I'd write a letter handing in my notice...but I'm not sure what to say.
I am Head Chef, my bosses promised me straight shifts back in November but yet here we are in February and I'm still doing split shifts..do you think this is a bit off on my part or am I doing the right thing.
I don't want to see them face to face as they have a habit of making me feel guilty...your thoughts would be appricated>

I have been offered part time work which I will accept.

she also said that people with depression should be at work because it makes them feel better and that being at home will drive my Husband mad....quite rude I thought

Answer 1

im exactly the same as you. im not assertive enough to say "no" to anyone, especially in authority. so ive always ended up doing things i wasnt happy with.
however....as you are off for a valid and genuine reason (ive been depressed too...so i know how shoddy it is) and theyre still wanting you to work, they either really like your cooking or they have no consideration for your well being. hand in your notice, but not before finding another job. you do need to practice your being more assertive so perhaps face to face is better. if you really cant do it, send it in the post. good luck xxx

Answer 2

You have had some good answers here, but the truth of the matter is that you are "depressed" and YOU don't need any form of pressure whether it's following the plentiful advice or having your boss coercing you back to work. So what do you do? I think you should go back to your Doctor and mention what you have said here because it's affecting your "depression" and your Doctor is in some way treating you for it, even if it is signing a sick note. Whenever you have these problems you quietly need to set yourself up properly in case of what might arise in the near future.
The other point that we should consider is this "what is causing you to be depressed? It may not be your job, you might just be 'run down'. Your boss might actually (truthfully) be suggesting going into work thinking quite sincerely that she is helping you. You do need your thinking to be correct. From what you have said it might be caused by the fact that you are basically resentful at your 'work hours'. You just might, really like your job.
Maybe, your best possible move is on Monday morning to ring your boss and just say that you have discussed with your doctor what she has said to you and that the Doctor was very firm that you must follow his sound advice and rest quietly at home to enable him to prescribe the right medication after you have been able to balance yourself. You are therefore sorry that you are unable to return to work until you are better.
If she does not accept that then you will just have to say in a quiet and positive way that you feel that she is harassing you into a position of constructive dismissal. When you say that she will know that it will cost her and back off.
Remember this, if you don't ring her then she will ring you. So keep the upper hand by ringing first - that puts you in control.
You must be a good person because I note that you have given 12% Best Answers.

Answer 3

You are signed off with depression. There is no way they should be phoning you at home and making you feel even worse, depression is bad enough without that...I KNOW!

I would simply tell them that you have spoken with your doctor and he has advised you against it.

Also the thing is, if you give in on this occasion then it WILL happen again because they know you'll give in.

It's appalling to phone someone at home who is unwell and put pressure on them to come into work.

Just say no and blame it on your G.P. They may TRY to make you feel bad about it...but it's their problem...they are employers and should be prepared and have their own cover when sickness occurs as it always does. Basically they're just trying to save hiring in anyone else.

I wouldn't give them a second thought. I also wouldn't hand in your notice yet either. Wait until you are back on your feet again THEN look for another job.

You are right to say no.

Best wishes and hope you'll be feeling better soon.

Answer 4

Get your bosses to put everything in writing.

Then take them to Court.
If you are signed off for ANY reason it means you are not fit to work.
If your Boss cannot finish a course because you are not there IT IS HER FAULT!

No company can force an employee in to work when they are officially signed off.

I have been off following a serious illness so far for 3 weeks but I'll be off at least another 4 weeks.
Signed off by the Hospital and by my GP. This is a legal arrangement and cannot be broken.
My company can ask me to come in to 'see' them but not to work.
If you do this days work you will invalidate your sickness, then can be forced back to work.

DO NOT GET INTIMIDATED!

If you need to, go see the Citizens Advice Bureau and let them know why you're off and the fact that the company had promised to change your shifts but hadn't. As a result you are off with depression.

Best advice I can give is twofold,

Firstly If you are legitimately off with depression, you have rights.

Secondly, never let the B@rst@rds grind ya down!

Answer 5

most companies will not let you resign without at least an exit interwiew so I don't think you'll be able to get away without talking to them. If they promised you something like straight shifts and they haven't delivered for that long and you haven't stepped up and put the pressure on them then thats on you. The only reason they can make you feel guilty is because you let them. you're obviously not happy how could you possibly feel guilty about that.

Answer 6

Some bosses do not think about the employee at all. They only think of themselves. Do what you have to do to be happy. If you are on a depression leave, that is very stupid of your boss to ask you to come in. I am in a similar boat. I can't leave my job right now, but I am slowly digging my way out of my financial situation so I can change jobs. Recently, I was sick and called in sick. My boss called me at home and asked me to come in, while sick, to go to a training class. I told him "I'm sick." They don't care.

Answer 7

your job is playing a big part in the way you are feeling.get out now.once you make that change you are going to feel a lot better.even by just putting your notice in is going to make you feel better.dont be held to ransom over a job.if you dont feel like going in for one day then dont.be firm.write a letter saying its with great regret that you wish to terminate your employment with them.how much notice depends on when you get paid,w or m.they may wish you to work it.but at least you know it wont be for long.chin up we've all been there.

Answer 8

Well, I would say quit the job. Seeing that you are depressed though, means that you have to do it in an uplifting way. They created your depression, so let them help cure it. So....When you quit, do it in style. Make the wrong food, take the wrong orders, mix the wrong ingredients, make up a recipe, your the head chef! Have fun!

Answer 9

You're doing the right thing.I know the feeling of bosses not doing what they promised to.I hope you're able to find something better soon.Good Luck,and I'll keep you in my prayers.

Answer 10

Just right a basicl letter saying that you are giving your notice... simple. You boss should not be calling u when you are off sick anyway!!!!!! We need a new chef where u based?