My ex-husband moved due to job reasons and I live in another state. I came back to take care of my daughter.
His mother lives a few miles away. She and my daughter encouraged me to come.
However, now I feel that since I am staying in my ex-husband's house with my daughter that I have made a mistake. My ex-mother-in-law keeps pushing me to call my ex-husband and get back together with him. I am not interested in talking with him or becoming friends with him.
She also tries to control what we eat, do and if I buy my child clothing. I try to ignore her and do what I feel is right.
Am I the problem for not thinking the situation through and coming back? My ex-mother-in-law keeps wanting me to confide in and be close to her and I don't want to do that. She makes me feel bad about myself in that I will be alone for the rest of my life.
2007-02-23 23:26:51 · 16 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is unwise to be there in your position, with your ex mother in-law. She is asserting herself to suit the needs of her son first, grandchild second, and you last. This is not a good place for you to be.
You need to be on your own making you own decisions about how to move on with your life, not having someone who is biased aginst you trying to convince you to do something that you are not interested in- or is even good for 'you'. And then wondering why your not so close with her.
Move out.
2007-02-23 23:36:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you move out in the first place? You said your husband moved due to job related reasons. Did he move and you not go because you wanted to remain where you were?
If you left because the mother-in-law was running your marriage, you are now in the same house as your ex and the mother-in-law is still running the house.
Determine why you left to start and if the reasons are still valid, take the kid with you. Otherwise talk to your ex he appears to be in the next room, and do what is right.
Staying with him for the kid is the wrong reason. If you are unhappy, you cannot be a good mother and are doing her, yourself, or your ex any good.
2007-02-23 23:42:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok. Maybe it was a hasty decision. But surely i believe you moved in probably bcos of the urge of your daughter. It is very normal to see that your mother-in-law tries to bond you and your ex-husband again. I'd understand you favor this divorce and seek no need to mend it. Therefore, take the initiative to talk to your mother-in-law about her bossy attitude and how the relationship wouldnt go anywhere between u and your ex-husband. If things get worse or dont work out, talk about moving out with your daughter for it would be best for you and your daughter and everybody. Dont give in to your mother-in-law, but dont freak out also. Im sure you will find somebody.
2007-02-23 23:52:14 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not alone.. you are with your ex mother in law and daughter. I don't get it. Why not just let her have the child and you go do what you want. I don't understand why your ex mother in law does not move by her son, that way they could make a sudo family. Why did you come back again?
2007-02-23 23:52:16 · answer #4 · answered by lily 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
your mother in law has one agenda and one only, she is trying to manipulate u, into going back to her son. u can't let her control u, as u have your own mind and idea's. your problem stems from inability to stand up for your own belief's. u allow these people to control u, hoping to keep some peace. if u know a mistake has been made, u need to make some changes, why can't u and your daughter leave them, go somewhere else to live? maybe u need to have a little bit more confidence in yourself, u have lost the confidence because u have allowed others to control everything.
2007-02-23 23:43:53 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best solution would be to try and get away from your ex-mother-in-law. No I don't think you're the problem your ex-mother-in-law is. Try to limit your contact with her and tell her to mind her own business
2007-02-23 23:31:36 · answer #6 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Such problems are common; in fact yours is simple; you cannot have every thing your way without making accomodation and allowances.
It appears that your ex mother in law wants to get closer to you because of her grand daughter (your daughter) who is now under your care with a gratifying advantage that you have also the house of your ex husband to live in with your/his daughter. If you were my daughter or sister, I would get real angry with you for spurning the friendly guesture from your ex mother in law - all for the good of the "family".when she still regards you as a family.
Besides, lonely old women like to continue to play mother, in this case, she thankfully, to you, the ex daughter in law!
I fear that you may lose the sympathy or even the love of your daughter as she grows up and sees that you are being unreasonable to "her" father and grandmother. They too are two dear ones of hers against you one.
2007-02-23 23:49:50 · answer #7 · answered by Saeeda KM 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-09-29 13:31:35 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a bad trip. You might want to keep on good terms with her. After all she is your daughter's grandmother.
I don't know what type of person she is so its hard to say what to do. It does sound like she wants to be in control.
When she tells you to call, get back with your ex, her son tell her there are reasons why you two became ex. & you don't see any chance of that happening.
Good luck.
2007-02-23 23:38:35 · answer #9 · answered by ancestorhorse 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why dont you give it a shot, get back with your ex. your ex-mother is law seems like a nice lady who wants to see a happy family, not a broken family. think about your child. wont the child be happier?
2007-02-23 23:34:46 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋