I am indian married to a lebanese girl. Initially the things were quite ok except she didnpt like India eventually we tried to settle in Lebanon but the laws of Lebanon does not allow foreign mail spouce to settle in leabanon. Now my work in India is good and is progressing well. My mother in law does not want to leave her dauther and she has even distoyed her daughter's passport. My wife is always inclined towards her mother and is insiting that i live in India and she lives in lebanon and when i can i just visit for some days and go back. I have a small Kid of 6 months. My whole family dreams are shattered i never imagined myself living away from my kids and wife like this for the whole life. i tried all sorts of ways to convince my wofe but she is not ready to leave her moher and join me anywhere. Pl. advice me what should i do?
2007-02-23 23:03:45 · 8 answers · asked by bimadraj 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, I apologize if I say anything insulting as we have very different cultures.
I consider myself a very independent woman, but after reading your story I think that your wife has her priorities wrong. Honestly, she sounds a bit crazy to me; she'd really rather live in a different country than her husband, simply to appease her mother? That's utterly ridiculous! Her commitment, as well is yours, is to each other and your young child. It seems to me that you'd be in Lebanon for her if it was possible, why should she not be willing to live in India? I think you need to put your foot down. Perhaps the mother can come to India and live with you as well?
I don't know if divorce is acceptable in India, but you may have to consider it if she continues to act this way. If she really loves you then she should want to be with you, period. Really, what kind of woman wants to live in a different country than her spouse? And she'll probably expect you to just send money to her every month, not to mention that you'd be so far away from your child! You should not be the only person making the effort so that your marriage can work. She's being selfish, and you simply deserve better than that. Don't let her mother or your wife walk all over you, this is your life and your marriage, and you deserve to be happy.
Good luck.
2007-02-23 23:19:51 · answer #1 · answered by Ali 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's past time for your wife to cut the umbilical cord from her mother. She's a married woman with a child, unless you are away at war, there is no reason the two of you should live in different countries. If you want to have a long marriage she needs to not depend so much on her mother. You need to put your foot down on this issue. Meaning you cannot give her a choice. Your marriage is about 2 people, you and your wife. Your mother-in-law needs to stop getting between the two of you.
2007-02-23 23:30:02 · answer #2 · answered by lady01love 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have two choices:
1) You insist that YOU are the head of the household, and that your wife and child will live where choose. When you make this position clear, you will then be able to offer to the old woman who is your mother=in-law also the protection of your family name.
Either the women in your life will choose to acknowledge you as such a leader or they will not.
If they do not, PRETEND that they do not exist for at least a month. This is go give them opportunity to remember who you were for them before they failed to give you the respect that enables you to be head of the family and in this way shelter all those under your care.
You may read many ignorant replies from Americans here - do not listen to them. Always bring everything you read or hear to your heart and listen to what it says, first and last.
You asked what you should do. I answer like an elder sister:
Remember that the source of all you are is as vast as all the planets, stars and moons.
You see their light and yet you do not see exactly in which direction they point.
Let the light enough. Let the path be dictated by love.
Email if you desire more communication.
2007-02-23 23:24:33 · answer #3 · answered by flywho 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Man im very sorry for your troubles. Sounds like she is putting her moms wishes before her husbands wishes and her new family's wishes. Im a lebanese american man and i have many indian friends. My indian friend has shown me that india has some incredible places to visit. Sorry you got stuck with a lebanese women man, She needs to compromise here and hopefully both of u can come to an aggreement on living conditions:)
good luck my friend
2007-02-24 19:57:58 · answer #4 · answered by virgin 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is this more pain than what it is worth?
That is what you have to ask yourself.
You will have to just tell your wife bluntly that either she comes to be with you, or else you have no choice but to divorce her.
Custody of the child is something you will have to decide wether you want to pursue also.
You married her, not her mother, it's not a package deal.
She is going to have to decide between the two, and your the one to make her do that.
2007-02-24 00:28:51 · answer #5 · answered by Mr R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife isnt placing her loyalties with you. ( Oh my and that from an American) That is a must to make a family. Give her a choice to live with you or her mother. If she chooses her mother than she doesnt want you and you need to divorce her.
2007-02-23 23:26:55 · answer #6 · answered by Jeanine G 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
her family r worried about her.
start a new life in another country
e.g. dubai, U.K
u have a big choice
2007-02-23 23:19:26 · answer #7 · answered by Lil' Billz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
again a comunication problem
did you guys talk before getting married
2007-02-23 23:09:09 · answer #8 · answered by waiting for baby 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋