we got drunk and she said some very personal nasty comments that i didnt want to know,i gave her a sml slap.she said she blacked out and cant remember the row?? and the next day she kept it up.i lost my cool and we had bit of a cat fight..i thought we had got over it. we hadnt seen each other for few weeks and i met her for a coffee yesterday,and she brought it up again!! and kept nitpicking and founding faults with me!! what is wrong with her!! i tried to stay neutral and apoligise for the stress that we both caused!! but she seems to want me to take ALL of the blame!! what should i do.she seem so cold aloof and dislike towards me was scary!!! i dont understand??i think she been very unreasonable.and i v,confused and hurt by her.
2007-02-23 22:47:15 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Do yourself a favor and get a new friend. You don't need or want one like the one you have.
2007-02-23 22:52:04 · answer #1 · answered by J.M.C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi there confused,
Sometimes it is hard to be strong enough to take a step back here as your friend obviously means a lot to you..I know that you feel bad for your part in this and I am sure that your friend does too.. Many times it is the way we address the situation when it comes to communication.
I will explain what I mean, and I am sure that you will understand my logic here:
** We can not change other people first off, we can only have expectations in ourselves..As expectations of others is what really hurts..( in that case, we are hurting ourselves by having expectations)**
** My answer to your question is:
Try attacking the problem instead of the person.. You guys really do respect each other and had a falling out, these are the things that make a friendship stronger.. Give it some time to figure out how you can put it into words and focus ONLY ON THE PROBLEM AND NOT THE PERSON... I would also try not to have the expectations that she will take responsibility in her own actions..
Then it is like the ball is in your court Can you be comfortable with this friend in that situation and if not then you should have your answer.. Best of luck regardless.
2007-03-02 02:14:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's obviously got issues about being in the right and wanting to be top dog. Depends on how valuable your friendship is, and how far back it goes. If this is valuable to you then you have to eat some humble pie and take the blame - you don't know what personal baggage she's carrying about stuff like this and her pride may be very important to her.
I'd go and see her, take a small present (chocolates) and sit her down. Say that there was obviously a misunderstanding between you both, that you over-reacted, apologise, etc. Say that there's obviously two sides to the story but you can only see it from your point of view (may make her think) and ask if you can both move on and be friends again, tell her how valuable your friendship is.
Now this may bring about, from her, an apology as well. She may have wanted you to grovel, for whatever reason (we all have our foibles) and she may have thought about seeing it from your point of view.
Or she may just accept your apology and the two of you get along just fine afterwards ... as long as you have no lingering resentment about her not taking the blame.
From an outsiders' point of view, stuff like who is going to apologise first is so unimportant in a good friendship. In years to come you will have forgotten this, and good friendships endure for years and year.
I had a similar thing with a good friend ten years ago and both our reluctance to apologise mean that we haven't seen each other since ... great shame since we were friends from the age of five. I still miss her, but have no contact details for her now. If I had the chance again to make things up, I would like a shot and I certainly wouldn't let my pride get inthe way.
Good luck.
2007-02-23 23:34:19 · answer #3 · answered by gorgeousfluffpot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest you could do without a friend like this,she is stringing what happened to make you feel bad.
She clearly enjoys you squirming when she continues to bring up the arguement and blames you.
When people get drunk they loose there inhabitions,so the things she said to you she actually ment.She said it because that is what she truely thinks of you ,but it took being drunk for her to let down her guard and blurt it out.
Walk away and forget about her she isn't worth your time or effort,and i promise if you don't she will do it again another time.
She knows she is hurting your feelings and she is enjoying every minute of it,she is a malicious cow.
I don't think you will ever feel the same about your friendship ,because there is trust and loyalty and this has been broken.
Walk away and make new friends as the time has come to move on from this one.
GOOD LUCK.
2007-02-24 13:41:56 · answer #4 · answered by Tony 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would get a card and write it all down.
Just say you are sorry what happened at Christmas
but you were provoked by her.
And tell her that it seems that if she cannot meet you halfway
then it is best you don't see each other anymore.
If she was a true friend she would feel your hurt and accept
your apology. There are only so many times you can say
sorry. Tell her she is a nitpicker and you feel bullied by her.
Good Luck - I know what its like to have a friend who always
thinks she is right!!
2007-03-02 23:15:15 · answer #5 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her do she know that she;s hurting you by placing all the blame on you and that you would just like to apologize and move on because it is a new year and a new beginning and if she really has a problem with it, sit her down and talk to her about it after that let her know that you do not want to hear about the situation again.
2007-03-03 05:28:50 · answer #6 · answered by jamaicaladydread 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to be so blunt yet He doesnt choose your secure practices! He needs to react as any Male Cat does. he will the two opt to combat it, this is HIS territory! or they have met formerly and he lost so needs to flee! Your finding out on him up stops this behaviour so he scratches, hisses and in case you're unlucky bites. You cant carry a cat like that for long! He nonetheless loves you yet all he can see is the different cat. enable him take care of it and spot which he does! in case you dont choose him out combating attempt and scare the different cat away formerly yours sees it. in the journey that your cat flees the different could attempt to flow into and a face crammed with water will stop him. save a sprig bottle close to the door! good success!!
2016-10-01 21:54:32 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your BEST pal -- sounds like she wants you to get on bended knee to apologise - sounds to me like you were both being a bit silly over the Xmas hols.
Get on with your life she will continue to be your BEST friend or not, get out there for yourself and be YOU, she will come around in time, her fault if you are not there.
2007-03-03 05:01:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is more than one fish in the sea. I suggest an apology for
the slap, a nice card about the good times as a keepsake, and then move on.
2007-02-28 16:15:20 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She lied when she said she didn't remember. She is dwelling on what you said in the heat of the argument. Forgetting that she also was nasty to you. She needs to get over herself. Move on make new friends.
2007-03-02 23:31:13 · answer #10 · answered by holly 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
number one yall shouldnt of been getting drunk in the first place and none of that would have happened. 2 you shouldn't have slapped her that hard even though she deserved it. 3 u need to tell her that she needs to watch what she says. even a person thats drunk should have enough common sense to not tell personal stuff about their lifes.
2007-03-02 13:55:15 · answer #11 · answered by ashfry101 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋