i do not understand why my husband?

Question

he always phones me from his work wanting to chat but the moment he gets home he doesnt even look at me , or say hallo all he does is play with our 3yr old son.if i try to create a conversation he just ignores me.we hardly talk properly at home only on the phone and i dont like it.Pliz advise.

Answer 1

Sounds like there are issues to be addressed...Try setting up a date, with either your husband alone or if not able, then a place where you and your husband and son can be somewhat alone and have time to talk. Sometimes a change in the environment helps...also, bring up topics that interest your husband...ask questions about his job or etc.

Give him a reason to look at you...go out shopping and dress yourself up...buy flowers and something special. Give him a reason to think "WOW".

Answer 2

My wife and I have found that flirting on the phone is a lot of fun and talking or texting throughout the day makes the day easier to get through. When I get home it's all business. We have 5 kids and is very difficult balance attention to everyone. So we use it as a tool to keep in touch with each other. Don't be offended 3 year olds are a ton of fun and your son will never be this age again. Be glad he has a father that spends time with him. Good luck and I hope this helps.

Answer 3

your husband is leaning on you when he most needs you. Stop trying to over analyze it. Enjoy the conversations that you and your husband has while he is at work, who knows, the subject may continue at home. he is not aware that he isnt talking to you at home. He is overjoyed by the interaction he has with you, and it is multiplied by the fact that he can play with his best friend when he gets home. Don't worry, do not feel bad, you are loved. If you become inventive in your technique the three of you all can play together. It isnt all about talking to bond. Its about bonding. Dont boss, do not judge, for once in your life be free to enjoy the love and unity the child has added to your life. The three year old is very active and you should know this, if your husband did not tire him out, you know as well as I that he would not sleep through the night. Count your blessings instead of cursing them!

Answer 4

Sounds to me like he's calling you to basically just check up on you and make sure you're home and that his son is ok. It's pretty apparent from what you said that your husband's love and concern are for his son, and only for his son.

I'd suggest you have some serious conversation with him and find out what's really going through his head about things because there are warning lights popping up all over the place in that situation...

Answer 5

The only thing I can suggest is to ask him what is on his mind. When he calls you on the phone would probably be the best time to do this. Is he afraid you will have more kids if he looks at you? To get a better answer, you will probably have to give more details - did something happen in the relationship, what kind of work does he do, how long have you been together, etc.

Answer 6

My husband runs a buinsess from home and can be like this.Men go into thier cave when they come home from work..which is not easy for you seeing as you have been at home all day with a child.Ignore him too..and get on with something that you and your 3 year old enjoy..go for a walk or attend a toddler group.He must however learn to leave work at work..tell him you would not mind a kiss on the cheek and a "hello"when he gets home.my partner is an introvert and i am an extravert and sometimes find myself frustrated that he does not talk when his face is into the computer.perhaps your husband is not happy at work.However it seems that he needs to learn some "communication skills.For now just do what i suggested and enjoy yourself and your sweet son.

you can e-mail me of you want to talk.

i am a mother of two children 27yrs.

Answer 7

my husband is the same way, he feels that he has touched base with me over the phone, so it gets him off the hook, so to speak when he gets home. Sounds like you may need to start having date night to reconnect with your hubby. They do help. I would say make the most of the phone conversations, and take the time that your husband is spending with your son as a chance to get in touch with your self and have some alone time for yourself to recharge, so that you are a happier mommy and wife. If the lack of face to face conversations is really bothering you then you may want to express this to your husband. Try to come at him in a neutral manner, not attacking or judging, no emotions, just express to him how it makes you feel. Good Luck and
Blessings!

Answer 8

I can relate to this -- sometimes when one is at work (depending on their position), that either they need a diversion so that they can then put their full focus once again on detailed issues or they just have some time to fill and they're used to chatting on the phone at length when they're at work but when they get home (and on the drive home), they're unwinding and the last thing they want to do is talk when they get home -- they've been doing that all day. They need the time to rejuvenate.

Answer 9

I can sort of understand his situation. I deal with a lot of headache and aggravation where I work, a lot of people come into our office that have done something really stupid and want us to deal with it. It gets OLD and by the end of the day, I'm sometimes mentally fried and want to be left alone. Maybe your husband is stressed. I'd talk to him about this.

Answer 10

Does he have a cell phone...if so call him at home and say hi. Or you could use the times he calls you from work to work up an interest in some convo when he gets home like I have some great news-thing that happened today I can't wait to tell you when you get home....It could just be something you are happy about or something your child did...but it will get him thinking about talking to you once he gets home.