My husband and I have a very happy marriage. We are still in the newlywed phase and there are lots of sparks. He has a female friend, who I will call "Allison". My husband met Allison at work. She works for a different company and he was a consultant for her company. For several months while working on a project together they regularly met outside of the office for lunch and I would sometimes join them or go out with Allison myself.
The project ended, my husband was still friends with Allison (so was I, but less so than my husband). She was out of our lives for several months as she was living overseas. Allison returned in January. She has serious family and job problems and meets with my husband for lunch two-three times a week, sometimes their lunches last for four hours. He says he enjoys her company as they share work interests and he feels obligated to her as she is going through a rough time. He always gives her advice and she sops it up. My husband loves the attention.
2007-02-23 21:03:54 · 24 answers · asked by Kate Winter 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW...He's got two wives... That must be nice... Really, this thing called "meeting for lunch" with another woman is the same as your husband having affair. They are sharing and confining information together. Your husband should know better not to put your relationship at risk, unless you want to him to have an affair on you (already is)....Especially if he says to you..."it is all innocent." Put on your amour dear and go to battle. Tell you husband to put a stop to this or you will!!!! No if, ands or butts! Because he's going after another butt and its not yours.
Sounds like most of the responders agree that this is a big red flag not to ignore. Tell your husband that you love him and that you do not want to see your relationship at risk. That you would gladly join him for lunch if "companionship" means that much to him (really doing 4 hour lunches??? Where's his boss? He's getting paid taking another woman out to lunch...must be nice ; ).
2007-02-23 23:22:40 · answer #1 · answered by }-{2(o) 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is using him for emotional support. If she is having family problems talking to your husband won't help her solve the problem with hers. There's nothing wrong with him having a female friend but this could cause you a problem later on. Sure it makes him feel good he gets to solve all her problems and he get an ego boost. Two or three times a week-and for 4 hours. If this is bothering you, then you need to sit your husband down and tell him how you feel about it and have him slow it down if not just stop it. He should understand it-I wouldn't think he would like you to be having a 4 hour lunch with a male guy 2 and 3 times a week.
2007-02-24 05:34:33 · answer #2 · answered by firefly06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ooooh Kaaatieee,
Wake uupppp little rose budd, time to rise and shiiiine.
He is obligated to you, NOT "Aliso whoever". She needs to find herself an unmarried man.
You have allowed this until now, so any attempt to take away hubby's "just deserts" with Allison, will be met with great resistance.
In fact Allison may get in your face, be prepared.
Insist that this is not OK, and admit your mistake in ever allowing it.
The river of denial runs deep and wide.
Good Luck and God bless.
2007-02-24 05:43:21 · answer #3 · answered by cadet 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO! get a STOP put to this immediately!..there is nothing like male female friendship, opposites always attract,and a very thin line between friend and lover. this lady is not happy, so she will not like u to be happy too. she may try and seduce your husband and once is enough.
talk to your husband very straight and be very firm and strict that this should stop immediately. he should not pity her or have nay emotional feelings towards her at all and that period, even at the extent of spoiling your relation with her completely. there is no need for him to give her any further advice at all
in these things there is no strong headedness if your husband claims to be so. best of luck!
2007-02-24 05:25:14 · answer #4 · answered by curiousguy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it's not okay with you,then it's definitely not okay.Let him know that it makes you feel uncomfortable and that you would like it if he would only go out to lunch when it's the three of you.If he seems reluctant to do so,then there's definitely something that he's keeping from you,however to avoid an argument,just tell him that it will make you feel better that way.If he doesn't respect how you feel....you have all the right to be very worried.
2007-02-24 06:14:59 · answer #5 · answered by DA_ONE_AND_ONLY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he was friends with her before you guys met then its ok, but if he met her after then he must show some respect for you. If this was you having lunch with a man friend 3 times a week he would put an end to it immediately.
2007-02-24 05:53:18 · answer #6 · answered by SES 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey if you want to feel a bit stupider, wear a hat with donkey ears on it.
he is tapping that a s s ; i guar-an-f*cking-tee you he is nailing her. he is banging allison like a screen door in a hurricane. he is trying to screw her in half or die trying. oh that's so cute - listen - you can hear his baby batter sloshing around in her. awwwww.
LUNCH DOESN'T LAST 4 HOURS UNLESS YOU ARE HAVING DESSERT, I MEAN ALLISON, IN BED FOR 3 AND A HALF OF THAT, SWEETIE.
wake up and smell the coffee - the clue phone is ringing and it's for you - follow them some time unannounced and watch the fireworks. you have every reason to be suspicious. the only woman he should be having 4 hour lunches with is YOU.
2007-02-24 10:23:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
She needs to find another source for advise....like what we are doing!! he needs to spend those 4 hour lunches with you 2-3 times a week. he needs to enjoy your company. As he is busy helping this lady he is putting doubt into your mind and he should not be doing that. How would he feel if you did that to him? He is not married to her---he owes her no obligations!! his obligation is with you --- his wife!!
2007-02-24 05:45:04 · answer #8 · answered by crazykat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband is having an affair. His 2-3 weeks out on his date with her could be at hotels. did you get this check out? Get an investigator or check it our yourself!
Lunch date w/ another female is out of the question. They will end up in bed together if not already.
2007-02-24 20:38:26 · answer #9 · answered by Mammamia3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear friend, your husband and she are having an affair. 2-3 times lunch together per week is atrocious. Who pays for the lunch? If he is paying, the money should go to taking you out for lunch not her. Your marriage vows says that to "cling unto each other and forsaking others" ..........he is forsaking you and clinging on to her. Your marriage is in danger and you don't know it. You are very naive.
2007-02-24 05:39:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋