I have been dating this guy a few weeks. I accept that he is a recovering alcoholic (sober 4 yrs). He goes to AA, is honest about his condition, owns a business, takes care of his employees, and when we got up to being intimate, he got an HIV test and showed me the results. He told me before we were intimate he liked to take overly-hot showers to relax. In the morning I saw his stomach was covered with dime-sized scabs (about 30-40). I questioned this. He said they were from taking his hot showers. He blisters himself with the water! I asked him how often he did it. "2-3 times a day." I didn't know how to respond at that moment, but I've looked into "cutting" and I see that scalding also qualifies as self-mutilation. What can I do to help him stop? Do I need to end our relationship so he can face this problem? If I don't, am I condoning his behavior? Where can I go for information on how to help him? I'm afraid and I don't know what to do for him, and for myself.
2007-02-23 19:13:30 · 4 answers · asked by Rose of the Valley 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Oh wow, how horrible it must feel to know that the one you love is self-mutilating himself. I would say, that all you can do is stay by his side and love him. Leaving him would only lead him into a more serious depression or he might even turn to drinking! Leaving him is definately OUT of the question. The point of loving a person is that you'd be with him even in difficult situations. Put yourself in his shoes, if you were self-mutilating yourself because of some psycological torment within you, would you want your bf to abandon you? And if he did, wouldn't it lead you to do something more drastically dangerous? I would say, stay by his side, and send him to a therapy
2007-02-23 20:34:34 · answer #1 · answered by June H 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh Hun!!! I was with a guy who had major depression.. but no matter what I did, he was not going to get help. He was bringing me down with him. I would def say that what he is doing is like cutting, he needs therapy. He needs to work out why he is doing it, and obviously because your a girl, we worry about our guys. You need to talk to him and ask him why he is doing it. Is he doing it in place of not drinking? I don't know. I think he needs help or he may do it for the rest of his life. good luck.
2007-02-24 03:23:32 · answer #2 · answered by K McD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ending the relationship might make things worse. try bringing it up... he might have a depression issue or might have feelings bottled up inside, and pain is the only way to release it. maybe he found this to be a means to escape rather than alcohol... either way its dangerous... try googling cutting... that might help
2007-02-24 03:23:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
someone sidekick......just kidding maybe a psychologist
2007-02-24 03:24:47 · answer #4 · answered by TheSweetRevenge 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋