sorry for the long title, but here's what's going on. my girlfriend of 8 months is going to have a baby at the end of March. She got pregnant by this jacka** because of a one night stand and bad descision. I knew she was pregnant when we started dating, and i fell in love with her, now we are preparing to raise OUR child. The father is an active drug addict who is on methadone, xanax, oxycontin, and god knows what else and he is undoubtably going to cause us problems because he claims to be in love with her or something. he has already threatened my life and has threatened to take her baby from her. she doesnt want to put his name on the birth certificate because she doesnt want him to have any rights (i dont either) we have plenty of GOOD male role models in our life and nothing he could do would be in the best interest of the child. they were never married by the way. what rights if any does he have? and what rights do WE have to keep him away from us? please serious answers only.
2007-02-23 17:51:46 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
this is tennessee by the way
2007-02-23 17:52:05 · update #1
he hasnt as much as called her in the past 7 months to see how she or the baby is doing. I have supported her and bought just about everything from the crib to the stroller, to the bottles and diapers.
2007-02-23 17:53:27 · update #2
my girlfriend doesnt use drugs or drink alcohol at all, ever.
2007-02-23 18:01:36 · update #3
ok YES i UNDERSTAND lots of people dont agree with same sex relationships, that is NOT my question. my question is: what rights does he have if hes not on the birth certificate?
2007-02-23 18:04:31 · update #4
First off: DON'T PANIC!
Secondly: GET A LAWYER, preferably a Gay Friendly lawyer, yes, even in Tennesse there actaully are some.
Check with the ACLU or LAMBDA Legal for referals to lawyers in your area. (Links will be posted bellow)
Thirdly: yes, some of the posters were right in saying that the biological father does indeed have rights, but as someone else mentioned there's a good chance that if he's not willing to pay child support, he'll gladly sign away parental rights to get out of it.
Again....get a lawyer!
Fourth: I've posted a link to Tenn Family and Probate law information you might find handy to have. Please read through it to find out what pertains to your girlfriend's situation.
2007-02-23 22:04:12 · answer #1 · answered by DEATH 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your feelings are normal, and U should be scared. Best way to have a child under these circumstances are to use artificial insemination -- then no affair -- no jealousy. There will be plenty of other problems arise later anyway. If U guys split then who gets the baby? Who pays the bills. U had better get this all in writing before baby is conceived. Then of course U might find out that having a "pet" child is not all that much fun. Then what do U do with it? Think this all the way through.
2016-05-24 04:55:14 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately Tennessee isn't a very accepting state, so you will need to act fast to put the protections in place for the best chance of keeping the child. There's far too strong of a chance that that state would give a drug user a child instead of a gay couple. If he has threatened your lives before, then I'd file a complaint. I'd maybe suggest narcing on him if he has no criminal record for his drug abuse. Give him a criminal record or put him behind bars and he won't have a very good chance at all of taking the child from you two. At the least I'd definitely get the police involved. Mixing a child, drug use, and predisposition to violence together and you have a VERY dangerous mix. He could very, very easily turn to murder to get his child from you two or even kill the baby.
2007-02-23 21:16:29 · answer #3 · answered by carora13 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he wants to cause problems, he has the right to pay child support every week, but if he insists on going for visitation ask for a law guardian for the child. The law guardian will make sure he takes drug tests. Chances are that if he's that much of a loser he'll sign his rights away if your girlfriend agrees never to seek child support
2007-02-23 18:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tennessee wont let anyone bastard a child, talk to a male friend
hell even tell gf to get married to a man(gay man) cause tenn is all about non gay parents having rights and non gay parents having physical custody of the child.
so gett to hunting for a gay male to marry to keep the child.
if your gf, is rich by any means like having a full time job she will end up paying child support.
i dont think the drug dealer will push to have a paternity test done.
those are expensive if you dont have the money.
good luck.
p.s. how i know this, i read a column in tenn. that the judge told the husband and father to stay away from his own kids, even tho his wife was ok with it all, the judge stepped in and declared him unfit to see his kids.
plus the lady i was dating, we couldnt display any affection in public cause it would cost her her kids.
so tenn is bad state if you want a kid and in a gay relationship.
good luck to you and your gf and family.
2007-02-23 18:26:08 · answer #5 · answered by sharma 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I am not sure how it works in your state but here in Canada you can say father unknown. that way if he pushes his rights he has to prove he is the father and pay for all the tests, then he can be made to pay all the back payments for child support, If it is possible I would slip under the radar for a while until he finds some one else to become the target for his attention.
2007-02-23 18:13:22 · answer #6 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As bad as the father sounds, you cannot deny him access to his child. Regardless of the apparent neglect, it is biological right to have access to him/her. If you deny him by not putting his name on the birth certificate, he could sue you for custody (as well as a variety of things), provide a DNA sample, and easily win for atleast joint custody.
Best thing to do, as the father to be sounds like a really lazy, apathetic douche, is to imply that he doesn't have to pay child support if he plays along. Make him sign something verifying that, and hold him to it.
2007-02-23 19:11:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He doesn't really have any rights unless he demands a paternity test and then at that time when the paternity test is taken hope that the judge takes this all in consideration and doesn't look down on you and her for being the sexuality that you two choose to be. But if he isn't a good parent fight for what's right don't let society change that.
2007-02-23 17:58:21 · answer #8 · answered by alyricialgenius 2 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Seriously....I would pay and get legal advice on this. Find a lawyer who handles gay rights in your state.
2007-02-23 18:12:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Dont put him on the birth certificate, and he cant do anything
2007-02-23 17:55:24 · answer #10 · answered by ashleynicole452 4 · 1⤊ 3⤋