Boyfriend wants to keep pics of his ex girlfriend, BIG fight, Please help!!!!!!!?

Question

My boyfriend and I have been together for about 1 1/2 yrs.I saw a box I never seen B4.It had pics of him and his baby’s mom.I was crushed.I talked to him about it, he said he will get rid of them and that he is sorry.I said not 2 get rid of the ones w/only his son and the mom.Just 2 get rid of the ones w/him and her together. He said he would.He didn't do it.2nite we were talking and he said that he is not going 2 throw out the pics. He said “those are my memories.” I didn’t know what 2 say but I told him I can't accept that. This is the thing. His son’s mom ("ex") gives us HELL everyday, we are in a court case 4 custody now and he has to pay $1000s in lawyer fees, We are, constantly write emails about arguements about his son, stressed about some issue. “ex” is a HUGE STRESS in our life.I said he could keep any pics other GFs in the house just not her.I don't feel comfortable w/him keeping pics of her b/c of what she does 2 us. I don’t understand Y he wants to keep the memories of her

I said, I deal w/alot being with a man who has a child. I said it is hard enough for me 2 have 2 see,talk,& go to court w/her outside of the house & now she is coming in 2 the house.I said if he loved me he will understand She is 2much a burden N our lives 4 me 2 understand why he wants 2 keep good memories of her He left me a voicemail after we talked,I didn't answer,saying he misses me & we will work it out. I replied telling him there are many things I can accept but I can not & will not accet this.He replied back saying that this is very important 2 him 2. I said I feel like he is choosing memories of her over a future with me.an hour later I called him,he didn’t answer.I left a message telling him I didn’t want 2 talk about it I just wanted 2 hear his voice & tell him I missed him. He did not call back. Please help, am I wrong? Is he wrong? What do I do?

I do not have pics of my ex's, I guess I am one of those people, just a hopeless romantic. I belive that If I am not with the person now they were not meant for me and I must move on. I don't have any kids so I dont have any ties. I am 24 yrs old and in Law school. I have a lot on my plate and now this. I have been 2nd guessing myself 2nite whether I am right or not. I feel I am. I feel hurt that he wants to keep pics of her when I don't want pics of me and my ex. Thanks all of you for your help, I am really going through it right now, maybe I am over reacting, I really don't know.

I do not have pics of my ex's, I guess I am one of those people, just a hopeless romantic. I belive that If I am not with the person now they were not meant for me and I must move on. I don't have any kids so I dont have any ties. I am 24 yrs old and in Law school. I have a lot on my plate and now this. I have been 2nd guessing myself 2nite whether I am right or not. I feel I am. I feel hurt that he wants to keep pics of her when I don't want pics of me and my ex. Thanks all of you for your help, I am really going through it right now, maybe I am over reacting, I really don't know.

Answer 1

You have every right to be upset. It looks like he does not really respect your feelings and your emotional needs. The thing is, you don't even have to be in a situation like this. All that mess that is going on in his life, you don't even have to let that affect you in any way and make you upset. Let him have all his "memories" and all that other shi*t, and get your life back.

Answer 2

Honey, the best advice that I can give you is to for yall two to create your own memories. Honey, it is understandable of him wanting to keep the pictures and I totally can relate how the both of you feel. Sweetie, what you have got to realize is that memories are hard to come by and she is his ex-girlfriend, nothing more than that or he would have told you so. He seems like a real honest guy, very up front and doesn't seem to be the cheating type. Boys are pack rats, they keep everything because they are extremely sentimental...I know for a fact cause that is how my husband is and I can't stand it either but I'm not his mother either and so I go along with it to keep peace between us. I understand how you feel, believe me sweetie I do but you're the woman in his heart and in his arms but she is just a memory on paper and that is how you must look at it. I understand how you feel because I know if it were my husband I'd fly off the deep end. You have got to give him time to let her go, maybe their is still true feelings for her and he just don't come out and say so. Dunno...I just know that it can be a disrespectful thing to do to someone whom they are in a relationship with and they still want to hold onto the past and never let it go. Those are his memories and you need to rspect that cause whether you like it or not she is the mother of his child, not you!!! If you really feel as strong about this matter as you do then you must do one of the two things: Accept it and move on and don't keep bringing it up or get out of the relationship alltogether and find someone else that can and will respect you as a person as well as listen to your feelings on things such as these. Also, you can choose to do neither of these and pick your own path to take and see where it takes you. My guess is if you stay being that you don't approve of it at all and can't and will not accept it, honey you will only be miserable. I'm sorry to hear about that and I will keep you in my prayers but I do wish you much luck and happiness in what you choose to do. I accept e-mails so if you need to chat on a personal note and need a friend and a boost, write me okay...

Answer 3

Sorry, you have no right to be angry here. I would suggest that you again explain your feelings to him with a bit of rational this time and suggest that he take the box, duct tape it closed and place it into storage for the future when his son is old enough to share those memories and experiences that his father had with his mother. You have no right to take that away from his son. This is not about you, it is about his son regardless of what is said it needs to be about the boy. Always! You either deal with the fact that he had a life before you or you don't and move on, but I am betting that if he still has those pictures it means that he is a caring dude and probably a romantic, therefore a fairly good catch these days. So you may want to reconsider your position a bit.

Good Luck

Answer 4

Don't make a big stink about it. It's not worth it!
I remember my ex-husband giving me such a hard time about an ex-boyfriend's pic! Here we are, 20 years later, we are divorced since a year, and guess what? I still have the picture and what it means to me is memories....memories as a part of my life, not meaning, that's what I wanted back (that's what you are obviously afraid of), it had NOTHING to do with that, just part of my life, and I am thankful for never giving in, 'cause that would have been something I would have regretted, just because it is nice to look back at your life, the good times and bad!
I am in a happy relationship now. I know my bf has pics of him and his ex, I have some of mine; it does not mean either of us want to go back there, but it is a part of our old life (and often even reminds us why we got outta there), and it is no threat to either of us...or to you. Just ask him to keep them out of your way; don't force him to throw them all away...it's part of his history, and even if all is hard right now, it is nothing to hurt you.

Answer 5

I think you are just going to have to let him keep the pictures if you want to make it work. He has a son with his ex and maybe they have good memories of the past. Just because he wants to keep the pictures, it isn't to hurt you. I think he wants to keep the pictures because it does have a place in his heart. She is his baby's mama and he must have loved her at some point in time. He probably just likes to think of better times. As long as he is with you, I wouldn't worry about. You just don't like her because of what she is doing now, maybe she wasn't so bad back then when they were still together. Don't press the issue it will just piss him off and make you mad. Do you still have pics of u and an ex?

Answer 6

Like it or not, this guy will always be connected to his ex because of the kids. They are a part of his past. Is fighting about the pictures of his ex in a box really picking your battles wisely? Get custody of the kids first, and then when life has calmed down, try discussing getting rid of the pics of the ex. Or better yet, put them in the attic and forget about them and go on with your future together.

Answer 7

I suggest you end your relationship with this guy and go in search of a guy who was born not more than 10 minutes before you meet him, a guy who has never dated, never had sex, never been kissed, hell never even looked an any other female until Your beautious presence graced his life. Plain and simple, miss self centered selfish brat, is that you don't have the right to tell him to get rid of his memories. It's just too darned bad that his ex has put stress on you...if you don't like it leave. He will ALWAYS be tied to his ex because of the child they brought into the world together and that child wil ALWAYS be number one in his life, you will NEVER be number one. You are obviously way too immature and way too spoiled to have an adult relationship and you will only make life worse for this young man who is trying to make things right for his child. So do him a favor and move on.

Answer 8

He is your boyfriend now, that is all that matters. The past is past. It is his history and his memories. Why would you want him to destroy that? Especially if he has a son with this other person? He keeps them in a box!! Not like they are out on display or anything. You need to be more trusting, loving and understanding toward him. Stop being insecure with yourself. he is your boyfriend, right? Let him have his memories, one day when he is ready, when and if, he may get rid of them anyway. When you push, you are usually the one getting shoved out.. be cool!

Answer 9

I'm so sorry you're ging through all that, i know how it hurts especially if you love the person so much and have spoken about the same things over and over again, you end up feeling he doesn't respect your feelings.

before my husband and i married, he kept pictures of his ex, after he proposed to me i asked him to get rid of those pics (it was 2) if he really knew he wanted me, he wuoldn't have the need to keep those, and he did.

I think your b/f is keeping them (pics) just for the connection they have(child) but you need to make him understand how it makes you feel, as the woman's in HIS life NOW, he really need to get rid of those pics, cos we don't know how much he thinks or remembers , or misses when he looks at them, he needs to decide.

I agree with the other comment, get some porn, you'll be amazed at how he'll react seeing you watching it.

Take care.

Answer 10

Those are things that happened in the past,maybe he wants to give them to his son when he is olderso he will know that his mom n dad did love each other when he was conceived and not a mistake as their marriage was,Just tell him the one's of him and her must be put away.

Answer 11

I am married to a woman who, like you, would not like me having pics of past relationships. I completely understand. You have actually been extremely fair about this by asking him to only keep some of them. I think he should honor your request as an expression of love for you. You are not being at all unreasonable. But he is.

I'm sorry I have no solution for your problem. But I hope that you are strengthened by me being a guy who sees your point. I think if he truly loves you, he should look at getting rid of the pictures as just another way of telling you "I love you." And the harder it is for him to get rid of them, the more meaningful the "I love you" will be.