My boyfriend of 2 yrs and 1 child of 4mos share no intimating?

Question

I asked him why and all he gives me is excuses, such he has alot on his mind or he doesn't think about it. He tells me he only need sex once a month but we've gone longer than that. I dont know what to think because he isn't the sexual type and he isnt all that great in bed. I'm not a bad looking woman and I'm pretty good in bed, but he doesn't give me a chance to show him. I'm a healthy forty yr old woman with a lot to share. HELP!

Answer 1

his kid?? he is how old?/ sounds like is a emotionally immature.. well from what you have briefly written.. if it's not his kid, and you have communicated that you would like to have this void in your relationship addressed..and he is being a cold/distance of a jerk maybe you should look elsewhere for love and..affection.

there is not a lot to go on to advise you..but it seems clear you are on different pages when it come to respecting the needs of each other..

funny it's usually the other way around right? he wants it twice a day and she only wants it when she's ovulating..or theres' a Scorpio or Cancer full moon..or such.

i am sure that communications is the most important element her to address.. his needs or lack there of.and your needs for feel like a complete balanced and loved person.

if nothing seems to get resolved tell him, maybe it's time to modify the relationship to that of a more open one.. and less monogamous one and you would like see other people to address those areas he feels he is not interested in fulfilling anymore.... that should spark some dormant feeling.. I know it's sort of a mind game, but..got to break some eggs to make an omelet

remember .life is change and change is inevitable.. so make some changes in your life if you are not happy... grow forward with your life.!

good luck..and with your ..new born??

Answer 2

I agree with everyone, I think timeouts are really the way to go most of the time... I reserve a spanking here and there for something pretty serious or blatant. However, I always warn my kids. Generally (on ideal days haha!) I will give them one warning "Stop A or you will have a timeout." The key is to make sure that if they do not listen to you the FIRST time, that you follow through with the time out. My 4 year old was pretty easy about this in her terrible twos, but my 2.5 year old tests me much more. Lately I've noticed I've been threatening her a lot and not following through. Once you can get him to sit through the timeout and understand it's not done until he finishes it (supernanny style) then it will work easier.... and I think it's easier in a spot where he can't see you, so you can ignore him. We also use a timer for our timeouts, it helps the kids know there is an end, and exactly when it is. IF he refuses to sit down you could try what I call a "pack and play" time out. It worked well with my oldest (I started earlier with her as I had a baby when she was 18 months). Still use a timer, put him in for 2.5 min, and take him out when it's done. eventually he'll figure it out and should be able to sit on the floor or a step for a regular time out - as long as you're consistent! GOOD LUCK, I know how trying these little ones can be. On another note, If I ever do resort to a spank or a hand "smack" I always try to make sure it's not MY frustration i'm taking out on them, I use the warning system, and usually I take them to a different room... or wait until we get home from the store (that might not work for a year or so)... sometimes the dread of a spank is bad enough punishment and you barely even have to touch them.

Answer 3

There is more to a relationship than sex but wow do the different appetites make a difference.

Maybe you could learn how to pleasure yourself. That might get him thinking. At 40 you know that is not out of the question. Find a book on the subject and take a trip down to the old fun toy place.

If he isn't intimate with you in anyway, like does he talk to you, do you laugh together, things like that (and I am talking outside of the bedroom) you may want to question what this relationship is about.

I myself would have felt very vulnerable or scared to being out on my own with a new baby. However, if I were you I would think long and hard (sorry to use the phrase) about what was going on between the two of you.

Sex is not all but it could be the symptom of many issues.

Answer 4

Well if he just had a 4 mth old baby, there probably is a lot on his mine.
Was it planned? Did he want kids? Is he nervous about having another one?
After giving birth you'd have to wait 30 or 45 days in any event right?
Look at the entire relationship and not just the sex (which is important) but you need to look at everything.
Is he having a physical problem?

Answer 5

Its hard at Times,when a Woman has a Baby,things Change,I think its normal,because the Women you love is a Mom now,and is hard just too think about Sex.It will take Time,but just hang in there,it comes back.I had that experience,and I felt that Way,but the Desire came back,Good Luck

Answer 6

if there is any way to change the title of your question you really should cause when i saw it i was like WTF?!!!! obviously i know its about you and him but it all sounds like him and the child until you start using "I".

anyway, if he isnt the sexual type maybe thats why he doesnt wanna do it. you said it yourself! i think you know the answer to your own question. :( its not you, its him.

Answer 7

If he gets on yahoo answers you won't have to worry about it after telling everyone how he is in bed!!!

Answer 8

it could be a lot of reason, but it also could be that he doing
it with someone else. but try talking to him. there is something
going on. time to clear the air.