Why does my husband always say: If you don't like it - leave?

Question

maybe he really wants me to leave??
Ok ... jokingly I tell him that I didn't sign up for all this, housework and chores and being his financial adviser and medical adviser and business adviser!! All I signed up for was the "love" part - ha-ha!
Well, he tells me "If you don't like it -- LEAVE!"
I explain to him that no woman wants to hear the word LEAVE, all a I want to hear is that the he appreciates all my work and never wants me to leave because he loves me so much.
But nooooooooo, I don't hear thaaaaaat, maybe I SHOULD leave?

I can't leave, we have kids to raise. I just don't want him saying LEAVE, but I guess he doesn't car about my feelings, which means he doesn't love me - and this means he is an idiot!

whew! sorry, just had to get that last comment off my chest. I feel much better.

Answer 1

Most likely your husband doesn't want you to leave. He probably just doesn't understand how much that remark hurts you. Discuss your feelings with him and get to the root of the problem. Chances are, he doesn't even realize his comment is being taken seriously.

Answer 2

Tell him you've been thinking about it through his financial adviser and medical advisers point of view and you think he can afford a divorce but his good health may not last much longer. And he may need to work some overtime because that side account that you keep in your moms name needs to be increased at least $300 a month this year. You may want to start cooking two levels of dinner for a while. Cook your kid and yourself a prime cut of beef and make him a hot dog. Tell him your cutting back. He doesn't know how to enjoy a good thing when he has one.

Answer 3

Sweetie, I've said that to my Husband many times and I never meant it. I just thought he was criticizing me for what I was or was not doing.
One he was complaining about how he's not gonna live like this cause the house is a mess etc. He was in a bad mood and taking it out on me and I said if you don;t like it than leave. he says. Fine than I will. Of course I didn't mean it. I was hurt and wanted reassurance. We made up later. Read my other questions for complete details. just don't let it get as far as we did. Remember some men don't take jokes the same way we do.
Take care and good luck.

Answer 4

Don't do all of this drama and mind games and pretending to pack your bags. your best bet is to sit him down and the next time he tells you then leave theres the door. Say bob that really hurt me. I don't mind doing all of these things were a team but i do get hurt sometimes cause i feel you don't appreciate the things i do. And a woman likes to hear such things now and then. Its not that i want to leave but sometimes i feel you dont' care about me or tell me you love me. ( insert what ever it is you feel he isnt' doing with you) some times some men aren't as sensitive nor do they think how we women are. men just go up to men and are colder at that as where women like to be reminded there loved and needed and appreciated. so im sure if you let him know whats on your mind and how you feel. he'll think about it in his quiet time doing something else and think to himself wow didn't know my wife liked or needed that kind of talk. and maybe he will try. by the same token you should also praise him for things. no one wants to be taken for granted or feel there just a fix it man or its his duty as a man to do this or that.

so this is good for both of you here. incase your both lacking in the your special department to me cause......

Good luck try that just communicate and let him know.

Answer 5

Pack you bags and put them by the door. After he gets home, start getting ready to leave. When he asks where your going, tell him your taking his recommended advice – and leaving him. If he truly loves you, he will become nervous fast. When you have him in this situation, you have his full attention. This is when you tell him how unhappy you are and that if it continues, there will be no next time. He needs to make changes and be a man if its going to work. Had you known getting married translated to becomming a maid and slave, you probably would have rethought it. Being married takes work, and the work should e done equally between the two of you. Set the guidelines or remain a silent slave.

Answer 6

Is there any place you could go for awhile? With the children? Let your husband handle his own affairs for awhile? He needs first hand experience in his own drama to try and fathom all of the things you have been organizing for him. I did the same to mine and little by little it occurred to him, but I guess he'd have to care first. Why can't you leave him, if you are unhappy and you two are having conversations about leaving and and he is apparently showing his lack of respect and appreciation for his beloved, then there is no shame in packing your bags and leaving him to it. Do you have a job? Can you support yourself and your kids? If there is a yes to those questions and you feel less enamored with your husband than when you married him, then go. Be happy, life is too short to be miserable and let that be the lasting example of marriage to your children. Show them that you can rise above it.

Answer 7

doesn't it feel good to blow off some steam lol well after 3 engagements and being married for 4 years i can safely say yes, YES!!!!!!!!! you did signer up for all those things being married is more than just love its a partner ship that goes down all roads but a partner ship that needs both people to shear the work load that means your man needs to get off his *** and clean a dish or two lol or at least say "thanks honey for anything cleaning, washing, cooking, taking care of the kids doing that thing in the bed you relay dint like lol" but dint think just Cu's you have kids doesn't mean you dint have to leavee not saying you are but if you do leav if there kids are young Cu's when the get older there not ever going to understand Will there young its better trust me i now on that one well i hope Ive some help good luck

Answer 8

well maybe you shouldn't say what you said. even if you said it jokingly he feels you ain't or at one time it was a joke to him but you keep bring it up or making comments, about doing the house work etc. so if you don't like then leave. Because I'm taking it as this man is tired of hearing it. do you appreciate this man getting up and going to work for you and does everything that he may do for you? Do you tell him that you do? Do you tell him that you never want to leave or him every to go that you love him so much? So if you don't do any of that. why should he? Plus he shouldn't have to tell you every day honey thank you for paying the bills, cleaning the bath room etc. etc. i feel sure he tells you he loves you! you need to ask yourself why do you need to be complimented everyday? i don't see it why relatioships are 50-50!

Answer 9

this is how you get him to stop it worked for me. leave next time he says that go get you a few pair of clothes and go somewhere else. call him in a day if he don't know where you are and say I hope you are finally happy I am gone may I come get some things sometime I am needing more clothes and stuff. when he asks you to come home or why you left tell him well you might just be careful what you wish for it night just happen. then hang up. trust me he will call back and try his best to get you home and be oh I'm sorry this and that. make him suffer it out and wonder if you really are going to ever come home and then wait a few days or one till you decide to go home but do not go home until he calls you the last time to come home. then next time he says that just look at him with those eyes that you just might do it again and this time not come back.he will stop saying it and if he never calls you to come home then you will know that he really wanted you to go.

Answer 10

You know what, maybe, just maybe, one day you call him on it and - leave. What are the old sayings, "you don't miss the well until the watter runs dry", "absence makes the heart grow fonder", both of these sayings do have a valuable lesson to be learned and dished out. God Bless.