some of these demands are pretty unreasonable... where am I supposed to get a helicopter?
2007-02-23 16:38:35 · 21 answers · asked by sueflower 6 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
Never negotiate with terrorists! ESPECIALLY terrorist monsters!
Here's the plan...
You pretend to negotiate with the monster - Keep it talking, make it think you're getting the helicopter. Meanwhile, I'll use my ninja-like stealth skills to sneak through the ventilation system until I get into position at the back of the closet, ready for the diversion.
Morrie will disguise himself as the Monster Leader and pretend to be making an 'inspection tour' of the closet. While the monster is distracted by the 'tour' and showing the 'Leader' the cat, James will secretly replace the lightbulb with one that will detonate as a flash-bang grenade 5 minutes after Morrie leaves the closet.
Meanwhile, Sarah will dress in a scanty outfit and pretend to be a network talking head, keeping all eyes on her bountiful bosom.
Once the lightbulb that James has put in the closet detonates, I'll drug the cat with catnip, grab it, leave a stuffed 'Garfield' in it's place to keep the monster unaware of what's been done, and escape through the heating ducts to the back yard where I'll hop into a Land Rover that's been painted in UN Livery.
We'll all meet back at the airport and get on the Beech KingAir that is waiting, engines idling for us to arrive. At that point, we'll fly the cat out of the country until we've established that it's safe for it to return.
I'm sure the mice are behind this.
Ready? On three....BREAK!
Orion
PINKY: Just shoot the monster? Jeez, where's the fun in that?
2007-02-23 16:49:04 · answer #1 · answered by Orion 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
where was the evil monkey while the hostage taking was going on?..and if your closet is like mine, theres not gonna be enough room in there for SWAT to do much...ya know when this has happened in the past most jursidictions just forego the crisis negotiator and send in Bruce Willis, but expect cameras n hollywood producers invading ur privacy for hours with that option,..you never know the cat might be in the hat, and the monster is too embarassed to admit he screwed up. in any case DO NOT turn off the lights in the room, you know what happens then~~..
2007-02-24 00:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by wild1 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Knowing cats, the monster will soon be begging YOU to take her back before long. Nix the helicopter and just order in some pizza. The fun has only just begun........
2007-02-24 21:31:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg thats so freaky cuz the ghost in the hallway has taken the dog hostage. but i need a jet, not a helicopter. maybe your monster and my ghost are cousins or something.
2007-02-24 00:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by ♥immortal_vampire♥ 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Shoot the cat. Check mate monster.
2007-02-24 00:43:43 · answer #5 · answered by Ben Dover - Contributor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Never negotiate with terrorists! Call in Delta Force!!
2007-02-24 00:43:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call in Jack Bauer! Problem solved!
2007-02-24 00:44:53 · answer #7 · answered by •♦๑•TxRose•♦๑• 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and start shooting. If you accidentally hit the cat, it doesn't matter. Cats have 9 lives!
2007-02-24 00:40:59 · answer #8 · answered by Jon's Mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've asked an extremely stupid question. Perhaps the cat is better off with his hostage-taker than with you.
2007-02-24 00:43:49 · answer #9 · answered by Vicky L 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Just ignore him. He will get bored and release the cat unharmed.
2007-02-24 00:42:33 · answer #10 · answered by Pabs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋