We use to love each other but could'nt marry.After marriage we met again & are physically involved. What next?

Question

She wants to marry me, but we both have kids and are well settled. I am also attracted towards her and want her to be mine forever. Our relationship is 14 years old.

Answer 1

That's a tough situation to be in.... If you both are married to other people, and both have families and are 'well settled,' you may just have to bite the bullet.

However, the physical relationship you are having with one another is fraught with dangers and the potential for a lot of hurt. Not only do you risk the hurt and wrath of your respective spouses, but maybe even more importantly, you risk your relationship with your kids. While adults may realize that 'sh*t happens' and move on and heal, it can be much more traumatic on the kids to know that one parent left them and the other parent for another person.

You say that your lover wants to marry you, yet you only say you are 'also attracted' towards her. If the two of you really want to spend the rest of your lives together, then do the right thing by splitting up with your respective spouses beforehand, and starting off with a clean slate. However, let me toss out this question..... If she became involved in an affair with you while she is married to another, what will prevent her from becoming involved in an affair with someone else while the two of you are married. She should ask herself the very same question about you.

I'm not placing a value judgement on your situation, I've been the husband who was cheated on, and I've been the single man involved with a married woman. There is a lot at risk here, and you need to look at it from a larger perspective before irrepairable harm is done. Good luck, and Peace Be.....

Answer 2

I disapprove of affairs, for any reason. If you are unhappy with your wife, leave than find someone else. Personally I hope your wife finds out and kicks you behind. Maybe she loves you enough to give you a second chance, or she will take you to the cleaners in the divorce.