what do u think?

Question

Ok, here's the deal, I know I should be asking this maybe to a marriage counselour, but what happens is, I've been married for a 1 yr now, and me and my husband fight allll thheee time, I mean we do have good times together, but it's come to a point where we're barely intimate with each other, we are sometimes but it's not often, it almost feels like we lost interest in each other. I'm kind of a jealous person, and he hates it, he's not jealous AT ALL, which I don't like, I tell him to be a little bit more organized, he doesn't like it, I try to communicate with him about things that I don't like between us, and he tries to be as fast and to point as possible, he hates to have conversations, specially if it's going to be long. I don't know if it's because of the way we were raised, but I was raised very close to my family, so I'm very attached to people, I'm sensitive to a point I guess, and he's just cold hearted I guess, I don't know what to think anymore! I'm 23 so is he btw.

Answer 1

how long did you date him before you got married? maybe you didn't know him as well as you think you did. as far as the sex...you really need to address that situation. i know that's not the most important part of a relationship, but it's a big part. you are both young and probably both have a high sex drive. i'm sure he does. fighting does put a damper on your love life, but it can be rekindled. as far as being jealous, it's only natural and a little jealousy is actually healthy. it shows that you care. i understand why him not being the least bit jealous bothers you. the communication part is normal, he's a guy...guys hate serious talks. although, he at least needs to hear you out because communication is key to a good relationship. the way you were raised plays a big role in lasting relationships. you have a better chance of getting along if you have some of the same beliefs. both of you are young and owe it to yourself to be happy. maybe it's with each other, maybe not, but remember the 1st year of marriage is the hardest. try to get him to open up a little at a time. if he's still cold-hearted toward you then ask him to go to a therapist with you. best of luck!

Answer 2

You all have a communication problem that is not being solved with just the two of you all working on it.
I would definitely recommend a marriage counselor if you can afford it, but if not trying bringing in someone that the both of you all trust to talk to.

If the relationship is worth saving, try getting some help now before it gets out of hand.
Being just 23, you have got a lot to learn about being married.
If you are associated with a church, trying get some help there as well.

Hope this helps.

Answer 3

The only problem I see here is that the two of you simply don't know how to communicate with one another which is THE #1 issue in ANY relationship. Marriage counseling is THE best solution. Now husbands usually aren't to excited about the idea but after he gives you a thousand excuses as to why you don't need marriage counseling, just let him know that it's not that you think you're in trouble, it's just that you want to understand him better so you can be a better wife to him (this is also for him to understand YOU better but there's no need to mention that. Make it about HIM and how much YOU want to do this for HIM, and that you want to please HIM and be a better wife to HIM.) Right now, it's like you're speaking French and he's speaking spanish. He understands French but can't speak it, you understand Spanish but can't speak IT. So you two are constantly miscommunicating with one another which causes you to fight about everything...even the small stuff that doesn't even matter.

Trust me on this one, get counseling. Marriage counseling isn't just for couples on the verge of divorce. I've consulted many couples who were perfectly fine and wanted to know how to love eachother more than they already did in the first place. You will be SHOCKED at how much better your marriage will be when you two are speaking the same language. I've seen it happen many, many times. Just get your husband to agree to it (and remember, make it about YOU improving for HIM) and things will be just fine...which will automatically improve your sex life.

Good luck girlie, and don't take no for an answer!!

Answer 4

Honest answer: if you want to destroy all the love in a marriage,you can do it being:jealous,bossy,try to change a man naturals behaviour,giving orders or telling to a man what to do,or what do not to do.Those are some problems you have right now.So,you need to change that,and have a good communication with your husband.Get as soon as possible,a marriage counsellor,before is too late,and before your marriage end in divorce.Communication is the key in all relationships.Something men hates and do not tolerate,is to have a jealous and bossy wife.That wrong behaviour finish all marriages,or let men escape to those problems cheating or getting divorce.Good luck.

Answer 5

the first 4 years of marriage is always the worst you need to find out why you are jelous dose he give you reason to be or is it because you are inscure about the relation ship jelousey in a relationship show that there is no trust and you need to work past that . my husband is not at all jelouse of me either but if a guy would walk up to me and put his hands on me he would be quick to speek up , if they are just looking at me he looks at it as yea keep looking i know i got a good looking wife and shes mine i have the hand of marriage , and i feel the same with him and most men are to the short sweet to the point and not for talking and i was married at 16 and have been married 18 years talking is best after makeing love they seem to listen best after they have pleasure try sparking your relation ship by leaving little love notes for him in lunch box or fridge let him know he is king of your world and watch the difference in him keep telling him daily and you will see a attatude change you wont believe men like to feel they have a solid relationship

Answer 6

You should have gotten to know each other before you got married, especially at 23 or 22. Not to sound harsh, but those are the years to be single and have fun.
Since you are already married, you need to get some counselling just to get to know each other, then work out your differences. Good luck.

Answer 7

Yes I feel you do need counseling and marriage help for this situation. You should not be so selfish bossy and jealous either hon and you will need help for that. I do not feel he is cold hearted . He just does not understand where you are coming from. Go to http://www.drphil.com and email them for help and advice in this matter as well.

Answer 8

u should try therapy and if u dont got enought money u should do things you both like you said he doesnt like converstations so talk about things he likes does he watch sports maybe u could start watching it with him and having partys with some friends of urs i wont try divorce yet u can still work this out and when he see's u trying to talk to him maybe he'll do things that u like to and make some time that's just for you and him
hope this helps

Answer 9

It sounds like you need to just grow up a little bit. I'm not saying that to insult you, but I bet if you discussed this with your mother she would say the same. Since you say you are close to your family talk to her about it.

Answer 10

Here is what I think; I think you are a me, me, me person and jealously doesn't stand a chance in a relationship. I'll bet he eventually dumps you. You'll never be happy as you will always second guess him and he doesn't deserve that. Lose the jealously or lose your man.