My friend is totally oblivious that I loathe her.?

Question

I shouldn't even call her my friend... When we were in 6th grade she told me that I wasn't cool enough to ever be her friend, and pretty much made fun of me from then on. She told all the other girls any secrets I told her, and sold me out. We attended a very small school, and rumors that she spread traveled *quickly*
When we got to high school, she started talking to me again, and everytime I see her, I just, seriously, want to hit her.
I've ignored her, and I've blown her off, but she keeps talking to me The things is, a lot of my friends now, are friends with her, and they don't understand why I don't like her. I don't want to make it sound like I'm holding a grudge, I know I am, but that girl ruined my life, and I didn't really have any friends till I was in 8th grade.

I guess I'm asking should I confront her, and ask if she realizes how much she hurt me? Or should I just keep ignoring her and one day snap and rip her head off. (I'm aiming for that last one =P )

Answer 1

Honey, wether it be hatred or loathing her or wanting to rip her head off, there is something about this girl that keeps you and her in the same circle. befriend her. Welcome her into this little circle of friends that you have and then have a sleep over. While you guys do the "girl talk" bring up all the times she use to be mean to you. Yup, I'm suggesting you call her on every rotten thing she ever did in front of all your other friends. Not only will they understand why you have such animosity, but she will feel just terrible.

On the other side of that "getting even" plot I just layed out for you, you have to consider that she may not even have known she was such a bit@h. Seriously. Alot of times, girls like that are so insecure with themselves that they literally pick on the nicest just to make themselves feel better, because they know the nice ones are never going to stand up to them. She's probably grown up a bit since grade school.

My theory is this: If you want to hurt her...then do it, but after it's done, what is it really going to solve? You can't get those years back. That instant feeling of gratification you are looking for is eventually going to fade, and in a sense, you just became her. Do you really see yourself as that type of a person? I don't. You wouldn't have carried this hurt around with you all these years if you were mean and spiteful. You would have gotten even a long time ago honey. You aren't like that. I know it hurts, but it's time to let it go. She does't even realize you loathe her. Which means you are spending all this time and energy on hating her and what's the point if you haven't told her how you really feel? That just takes too much energy. And when you get to my age, you come to realize that life is short and you have to pick your battles carefully...which may mean, letting this girl have her moment in the sun. BUT if she does it again...by all means....grow a pair and let her have it....not everyone is capable of change.

Answer 2

Just say to her that you are really glad she finally decided to grow up and be a decent person. Tell her that she really hurt you in the past and that you never thought you could be friends with her again but she has just matured so much that you feel you can really be friends again.
You don't have to mean it but I do think you have to acknowledge to her in some way that she treated you horribly. I don't think it is a good idea to try to get your mutual friends to decide between the two of you or even to continue to bring it up with them. They don't want to dislike her and they will start to resent you for it. You just need to point out that you haven't forgotten how she treated you and that you won't allow it to happen again.
Hopefully she has grown out of it and will be ashamed about it. All the same do not trust her for a long, long time, if ever at all.

Answer 3

Keep your cool young lady. If your friends have betrayed you, then they weren't your friends to begin with! Don't let them see how much this is bothering you, because are pleasing them when you show a frown on your face.

The next time when you see them together display a gentle smile, and trust me they would envy you on how you are handling their behavior.

In fact if you really want to get even with them all? Every time you see them release a gentle quiet laugh! They would want to know what's so funny? This may cause them to even comfort you and ask you why are you laughing at them?

This will give you the chance to speak what's on your mind, in a delicate and Christian manner. Explain to them what a pleasure it is not to have false friends in your life, and you just realize how much they keep kissing her (the girl you loathe) a_ _ . Tell them

"At least I am true and honest to all my friends and the biggest mistake I made (speaking of yourself) was to even trust her (the girl you loathe), but now I am happy to learn this lesson in life. I wish you all the luck, because I wouldn't want to be in your shoes" Just walk away afterward!

What ever you do from this point forward keep yourself in the most pleasurable mood. Never frown nor show fright of them nor don't talk any evil ways about them behind their backs. Always move forward in life never stand still for anyone and worst don't allow anyone to move you backwards!

Your true friends will befriend in time! Just don't play people's games, and if your heart is still not content after if these thing that had happen, pray to our Lord Jesus Christ for guidance. Don't hate anyone, especially the girl you loathe! Keep them all in your prayers. Good luck.

God Bless

Answer 4

Personally, I wouldn't want somebody to rip my head off if I got on their nerves that badly. I would rather have them confront me about it (nicely) and tell me what I have done to emotionally traumatize them to the point where they loathe me. It would be better than beating the crap out of somebody and then getting suspended or expelled or put into juvy or jail for battery.

Answer 5

Ah, High School drama -- you have my sympathy. lol.

But anyway, if you don't want to be friends with her, I would say tell her.

However, maybe if you speak to her ( without punching her in the face, even though you may want too ) you might feel better about the whole situation.

Personally, I feel that if you just ignore her she'll just keep nagging and nagging...she's obviously to dumb to understand that you are not interested in being her friend.

Good luck!
--Vae

Answer 6

Wow, just spill your guts to her about the difficulties she put in your life. You're carrying around a lot of bad blood which obviously is affecting noone but you as she and everyone else is oblivious to your emotional turmoil.

Get it off your chest - she just might surprise you with her response

Answer 7

Maybe she realizes what she had done to you in the past and is therefore trying to make up for it. Give it another shot, but be a little more cautious about what you tell her this time. Maybe she has changed.

Answer 8

Dont ever tell a female she has got the best of you. Continue to ignore her and now that you are "COOL" or whatever and she is all kissin your *** to get your attention, then dog her the way she dogged you. Make her look stupid. ...then yes..rip her head off!

Answer 9

Simply, ignore her, and if she does anything again, you stand up to her. But just be cool, don't feed into her games. Because she is the one who will lose. Be humble hun.

Answer 10

I think you should tell her how you feel and how all the things she did to you made you feel. Get it out in the open and show her how mad you are. I think you have kept this in far too long.