we have been together for 6 years ,we have a five year old boy and a girl on the way .we never find time for romance he works alot and i take care of everything else .does anyone have any suggestions?
2007-02-23 15:06:54 · 13 answers · asked by babydoll 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hi there,
Finding time your even yourself, let alone each other is always a toughie after having children. Kids are the pride and joy of you life... however, it can take a tole on the romance department. Romance? Who has time for romance between diapers, laundry, cooking, cleaning... and the list goes on. Think about the simple things that you used to do together when your relationship was fresh. I definitely suggest a babysitter (friends or family) and a little get away. Even if it's for a couple hours to see a movie, eat dinner... take a walk. However, those little things in between help to. Maybe you can fix a favorite food for him one night? Put the kiddo to bed a bit early... watch a movie together. Even him bringing flowers home to you unexpectedly will make the romance feel alive again. You don't necessarily need a week away to make you feel alive.. (although that'd be nice). I would just concentrate on a couple nights a month, to take to yourselves, and think of little things that are special to do in between. I hope I helped
2007-02-23 15:22:27 · answer #1 · answered by cadance610 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you're describing is perfectly normal. Raising a family is extremely difficult and finding time for romance is even more challenging. My wife and I don't have any children and we STILL don't have time to go out on dates or just hang out. Trust me, a LOT of couples go through this for a long time. It's really about finding a rhythm and making time for yourselves. For example, you could make every other Saturday night a date night. Drop the kids off at a friend or relative's house that evening, go for a night on the town, come home, and romatically make love. It sounds a bit cheesy, I know but you'd be surprised at how rejuvinated you are when you pick your kids up the next morning...you'll also find that you missed them very much even though they drive you absolutely crazy.
So sit down with your husband and schedule a date. You're a family now which means it's nearly impossible to have the spontaneous fun you had when you two were younger...which is a GOOD thing because raising a family is MUCH more rewarding.
Good luck and be sure to spice things up on your "first date"
2007-02-23 23:16:18 · answer #2 · answered by Eddie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to schedule it in. There's never any time that's just open. You gotta make it. We have a 3 year old and an 8 month old, he works and I'm a SAHM, so I know how you feel. I would have one of the grandparents take your little boy once a month, and the other set take him once a month, if possible. That gives you 2 dates a month. (We haven't been out together in 3 years!!!! Yikes!!!) Find a way to reconnect before baby comes because you have a whole year of baby jail ahead of you.
Guys like to feel important too. They like it when women take the initiative, cause it takes some of the stress away from them. Try to go with the flow on date nights. Even stay home and have a nice quiet dinner together. Best of luck!!
2007-02-23 23:19:28 · answer #3 · answered by punchy333 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sadly yes this can be normal as it happens alot in marriages especially with children and work involved. I suggest you make dates and times to be together. Go out by yourselves alone on a date like once or twice a month. Mark it down on your calendar and keep that date special and do not make any other plans that day. That will be your special days for romance and dating. Make time for each other or you will end up losing each other if you do not. Also go to http://www.marriagetoday.org and email them for help and ideas in this matter as well. I wish you both the best.
2007-02-23 23:14:32 · answer #4 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With an 8,7 and 4 year old, there is no time for anything. Can't get mad at the kids because we brought them into our world.
We tried going on dates once a month and not talk about kids. That lasted for 2 seconds and all we were doing was talking about the kids.
All I can say is that it is very very hard and you are not alone. It happens to all married couples, some just find a way to make time for themselves as a couple.
2007-02-23 23:36:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say dont try so hard for ROMANCE ---- start with little things like leaving him notes in the morning if he gets up before you. OR sending him a sweet email or text during his day. Whatever IT is that we see in the movies is not real. Just remember he loves you and you him, just remind each other of that everyday. And remember your version of normal is not anyone else's. Take care and good luck with the new baby.
2007-02-23 23:15:30 · answer #6 · answered by lynjen31 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is ALWAYS time (except postpartum, that is a medical reason to not having sex..but there are OTHER way to show love..)
You two go to sleep together at night, right? Theres the perfect time.. If you go to work, you have kids, I think it's time to stay at home untill they are ALL in school (not preschool!) that way, you can make time for you and your hubby. I know, you prolly don't like my idea on being a stay at home mom (if you already are, kudos!!) and that stuff about "money will be tight" get over it. its a sacrfice you are making for your family.
But, once one of you works (dad) and one of you stays home (mom) all the chores get taken care of, dinner is taken care of, the kids have mommy around, which is awsome, and when you hubby comes home from work, you can shower him with love and all that mushy stuff. and when the kids are shuffled off to bed, then you can make love or do romantic things.
Just remember, you are in control....not his work schedual
2007-02-23 23:30:12 · answer #7 · answered by Pandora 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There has got to be a day. One freakin day of the month. Talk to him and tell him that he needs to find time to spend with you. You need to be put in his daily schedule some how some way. He aint workin 24.7, so there has to be at least a day that yall could have together. He might come home and say he it too tired, but he will just have to get over it. Put your foot down.
2007-02-23 23:16:01 · answer #8 · answered by BE HAPPY! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its important to keep the relationship alive with romance and stuff... jobs are hard and thats not to good but make sure you find time... talk to him about it or something... believe me its possable... my sister has four kids all under the age of ten and her husband is a total workaholic but they keep their relationship alive... best of luck(try planning romantic weekends where you boy is at a grandparent or family freind)
2007-02-23 23:10:47 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal to think you don't have the time but it doesn't take a lot of time to do something romantic. Think of little things and try to work them into your life.
2007-02-23 23:15:19 · answer #10 · answered by BLANK 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋