How come I feel so vulnerable whenever someone asks me if I'm gay?

Question

Okay, first off, I am gay, and I am fifteen years old. I have yet to come out of the closet about being gay.

Whenever someone asks me if I'm gay, I feel so vulnerable and it also kind of hurts my feelings because I know most people who ask me aren't being serious. My usual reaction is to say nothing at all, and just walk away. But that kind of answers their question. Also, there are a few people who I know that dislike me because they assume I am gay. So I'm not even sure how much they will try to hurt me when they actually know I'm gay.

I'm at the point where I'm almost ready to come out of the closet but if I can't answer a simple question like if I'm gay, how will I be able to handle other questions that other people may ask about my homosexuality?

Thanks for reading.

At the rainbow sticker thing. I actually got this sticker with two guy stick figures holding hands at Hot Topic for like 5 dollars. But I keep it hidden. :[

Answer 1

If someone is asking- You need to ask yourself why do they want to know? If they are a true friend wanting to know more about you you would not feel awkward answering them- When someone asks that makes you feel uncomfortable Try answering with...

"WHy do you want to know or why does it make a difference?"

Try being positve and happy forget the LABEL and just be you! they only time it should be an issue is if they are flirting or wanting to date you- haha
but In the real world it is hard to ignore but remember if you concentrate on being everything you can be and not just GAY people won't even ask...


I think you should read the book the secret- It deals with a gay guy in one part who was being battered and harrasssed at work alot-

I liked that part- Within 6-8 weeks his whole life changed!

I wish you nothing but wonderful friends and relationships- Only YOU can decide who you tell- use wisdom in doing so-

Answer 2

I agree with the first person. He is probably a bit embarrassed now. Honesty is always the best policy. Make it absolutely positively clear that you are NOT gay and that their is no chance you ever will be. Now tell your fried how much you value his friendship and that you want him to be a part of your life. Tell him you enjoy hanging out with him and that you want to continue to hang out with him. You have always respected each other in the past and their is no reason you can't respect each other in the future too. LOL! Maybe you could go to a gay bar with him! A lot of straight family and friends go to gay bars with their gay friends. People will not hit on you if just say you are straight and there with your friend. If you are young and cute they guys will probably all want to buy you a beer anyway just to talk to you a bit even though they know they arn't going to go home with you. It will give you a unique insight about life on the other side and I think you would learn a lot! Also - more so than guys - a lot more lesbians tend to be bi. You will get a chance to meet them. Some straight guys go to gay bars just for this very reason!

Answer 3

You are who you are, and it's never gonna change, hun. Those who care don't matter, and those who matter don't care. The world is changing, and it's okay to be gay. You also really need to talk to your parents. They will be your best defense. If it's losers at school that you're afraid of, see if you can transfer. Convince a parent to home school you. If you ever want to chat, hit me up. I'm 24 and bi... I came out when I was 20 to my parents, and 18 to most everyone else (I was in college so it was easy to "hide") I'm from NH, but surprisingly enough, there aren't a ton of gay-bashers, so I don't really know how you feel, but you do need to talk to someone. Either on an anonymous blog, a close friend, parent, or therapist/counselor. There are even some psychologists who specialize in sexual identity and orientation. So those are my thoughts. Good luck, God Bless, and keep ya head up!

Answer 4

We've all been there. We all know what it is like to just get on with your life and not feel like a piece of meat. I used to say back, way back when I was asked that question, "What the hell kind of question is that?" and the person asking would back down, but, and the but is important in retrospect, they took it as a yes and didn't bring it up to me again.
I was put off at your age because it came from straight people and most of them were 5 or more years older that I was. I was thrust at an early age into an adult life and I was emotionally capable of handling it, but totally unprepared of sexually handling it. I am so glad I waited to let people know that I felt no need in working, school situations my orientation because first and foremost I was a coworker/fellow student and sexuality played not part in any of it. I told people and I still do, that my personal life is mine and if you ask first I take that as your being predatory, I'm not interested in your sex life, don't think about mine.
I hope this helps.

Answer 5

It's because your 15! You simply ARE vulnerable at this point.
My heart goes out to you-- but there are some REALLY good times
ahead if you can keep your head straight. (pardon the pun).
If you are anything like me, and ALL my friends, you will soon
go through the "Uber Gay" phase, where you have rainbow stickers
and pink triangles on everything. lol.

Really try to do well enough in school so you can go away to college, and choose a college with a gay community. Good times ahead!

Answer 6

One day you will come out in full force and you will realize that it is all trivial anyway, You are who you are...congrats on figuring it out. due to brainwashing etc etc I never officially came out until 16. So your soul has done it's work and is figuring things out early. Your a quick learner and it's good to have a little confidence when you say I'm gay. or you refer to your BF as a partner. it's relieving and it is nice to be in gay relationship. So be yourself and come out when you want. It's your life. let YOU control it not your friends or family. You run the show....be happy with who you are cause it's not that bad of a thing. being gay you know.

Answer 7

You're still very young and likely lack the support you should have for when you come out.

Being an "out" gay person is not for the faint hearted, but when the time comes, you'll find an inner strength that you did not know you had.

My heart goes out to you. Why? Because we've all been there.

Answer 8

One day your self respect will do your thinking for you. You will come out and a rush of exhilaration will follow in which you will come VERY out for a while
You SHOULD feel vulnerable about being gay - we have many enemies out there - people who would deny you of your human rights, people who will scoff at you and make mockery of you and your friends, people who will hurt you.
Be gay, have fun, be who you are, but give to our community by working for change. Once you come out, you will never go back to that silent place again.
My brother.

Answer 9

You don't have to tell them that you're homosexual. People used to question me about my sexuality all the time and even scheming to find out if I was gay by having one of the girls ask me out and I said Yes but knew all along that they just wanted to know if I was gay or not. I remained in the closet after HS and I probably should've at least came out to my gay friend at the time but there was alot of confusion in my mind. Coming out allows you to move forward in life. It took me hitting rock bottom in depression for me to come out at 23 but don't let that happen to you. I knew people suspected me of being gay and that made me feel uncomfortable because I didn't kno how they would treat me if they definately knew. I also didn't want people gossiping about my sex life but people are gonna talk. If you need to come out to a family member or friend come out to them, this allows you to express your feelings to someone. You don't have to tell everybody.

Answer 10

first, and most importantly, if you are hurt by anyone because you are gay that is a hate crime and a very serious crime!!!
second, your sexuality is no ones business but your own!!!
you are still in high school, this is not the environment i would want to come out in.
as they say, children can be cruel!!!