recently i was married to a wonderful woman that has 3 older kids that do whatever they want to do it goes as?

Question

far as cussing at their own mother.we are constanly fighting due to their actions at my wife.all her life she has given and devoted her love to them giving and giving to them and to this day they are very ungreatful. need advice and no im not leaving her so lets not go there. recently one of the boys moved out due to an arguement. need advice asap.

Answer 1

Even though its not your biologica children but the fact that youre married to their mother, you are now considered father to them and you have the right to communicate and be a good father to them! You must discipline them so as not to tolerate their bad manners. Enforce strict rules, punish them if needed and ask for hep from your relatives or neighbors if you can't able to do it yourself or if youre helpless. Whats wrong with the American democracy is that it is too loose that it tolerates spoiled brats and wicked people. If there's only some strictness in your law then it can discipline people. I think the major defect there is that it is too loose in all without any barrings. But if in any case, you violate the law, you must defend yourself that you discipline them for them to be a better individuals not leading them to crooked life. Try it!

Answer 2

I suggest you go to parental classes with your wife asap. Sounds like they need some sort of structure and discipline in the home. You can love them but still be firm. It seems to me like they are trying to see how far they can push the both of you before you break. Do not let them do this to you. I recommend the book by Dr. James Dobson called Love must Be Tough. This is a great parenting and helpful book. Go to http://www.focusonthefamily.org and see if you can order it from there. I also recommend that you go to http://www.marriagetoday.org and email Jimmy and Karen Evans about this situation and they may have help and advice to offer you as well. I sure hope things get better for you and your situation soon. It sure is hard to have a blended family BUT i am sure you will be able to get through this. Please keep us posted on how things turn out for you.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel. Except I have lived with my boyfriend for 5 years now and his kids use him. The oldest which lived with us even stole $1300 from his checking account in a month. His dad bought 5 vehicles in 5 years time for him, paid the insurance, paid for all the repairs and maintenance. The boy lied about attending school and recently dad discovered needles in the kids possession. Before when I told him how his son was calling me names and threatening me he wouldn't listen to me. Now he has realized every thing I told him was the truth. His kid has caused a lot of trouble between us. The truth is if she has given them everything they want and you have come into their lives you will face the same problems. There are some parents out there who never face the truth about their kids. I just wish you well and good luck.

Answer 4

Talk to your wife, I would not go through the kids because they probably have the thing of you are not my DADDY! She may feels as though if she puts her foot down her kids will disown her or not need her anymore. Ask her why she lets them talk to her like that and if there is a way to change it. Make the change a progressional one because if it happens all of a sudden then they will think that you are trying to "Brain wash" their mother. Do it step by step. Maybe this book will help you out.
"WHALE DONE" THE POWER OF POSTIVE RELATIONSHIPS BY: KEN BLANCHARD. That book has great ideas on any type of relationships and might be able to help you out.

Answer 5

you should have been in control of this situation from the very begining. You are the alpha male and you should have shown your dominance early on in this relationship. Don't let them do this crap, YOU are the parent here, make the rules and stick to them no matter what. You don't have to be a prick to them, but you do have to be the boss. Find something to do as a family , find the common ground that all can be happy with. Give them their space, but they are testing the two of you as to what they can get away with. It's all about give and take, give them gifts then take them away when they pull this crap.

Answer 6

I am sorry - I really don't have any advice. I just need to say that I am sure these relationships were not something that suddenly showed up after you were married.
If you thought being married and being tough guy was going to change things- that is so not on target.
The kids can NOT do anything she does not and has not already allowed.
Your being married to her is an after thought to them. They already know what they can do- and it's not YOUR place to change that.

Answer 7

unfortunately your wife has allowed these older kids to behave this way for a long time, and there isn't too much u can do about it. she will not listen to u in any way and if u want to stay married just ignore the drama if u try to discipline them it won't work out. as she is always going to be their mom, and has always allowed them to act like this.

Answer 8

They aren't your children, you are not their father. It's none of your business, really. All the rules regarding the kids should have been worked out BEFORE you got married.
Before this escalates further ( and I guarantee you, it will ) get the both of you to therapy so you can work out some rules, otherwise, the two of you don't stand a chance.

Answer 9

I hope they are old anough to move out if they do let them go
if not then seek counseling because this problem is also with your wife
all of them need to stop and restart this relationship
and to do this you guys will need an outside party
Goodluck

Answer 10

Call the Nanny. Use the "naughty corner". Remove privileges for poor behavior and disrespect. Order must be brought into the household or everyone will be dysfunctional.