I have a newborn baby, i got pregnant by accident and was unprepared. I am now getting married to a man i love, zthe father of the baby. I know it is early, but when the my child grows up and is able to understand about having a baby, and that stuff.... and when he asks about when he was concieved and everything....should i tell him he was an accident or would that make him feel unloved?
please help me, serious answers only
2007-02-23 14:15:04 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
i was in the same situation. My daughter is now 2 and what my husband and i are planning on telling her when she gets old enough to understand is that she wasn't an accident but just ahead of schedule. you could try something like that. I think of my daughter as one of the special babies who couldn't be stopped. I was on birth control and my boyfriend (now my husband) had been told he couldn't father children, try to think of it that way instead of an accident. we are blessed with babies and they are such a wonderful gift to receive. Congrats!
2007-02-23 15:27:19 · answer #1 · answered by llllll_amanda_lllllll 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't say accidnet or unplanned. Say that Mommy & Daddy loved each other very much & had a pleasant sprise. Or that he was just a suprise. It just seems unplanned & accident seem so negative. He may feel unwanted. He would probably be able to relate to a suprise, like CHirstmas presents, Birthday gifts exc exc. A suprise is something that you don't except but your so happy to have it!! I personally think it sounds better. But what ever you feel is right. COngrats on the baby.
2007-02-23 15:17:15 · answer #2 · answered by Carly 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would never tell a child he was conceived by accident. First of all, there are no accidents - you knew the risk of pregnancy existed. That said, you are able to say that you love the baby's father. This means the baby was conceived in love. That is the most important thing you can relate to your child and nothing else needs explanation!
I am sure the child will know he/she is loved by the way you both parent him/her.
2007-02-23 14:21:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let him know that he was conceived in love, that the Lord made the choice for the timing of his arrival. But that you and his father were pleasantly surprised and over joyed by his arrival. What ever you tell him, don't tell him that he was an accident. No baby should be an accident, unplanned maybe, but never an accident. Accidents are associated with negative issues.
2007-02-23 14:24:23 · answer #4 · answered by mischa 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well...my daughter knows I was pregnant with her when my first husband (her father) and I got married....The knowledge hasn't hurt her...I love her...she knows I love her...she is secure in that knowledge...I suppose if you are a horrible mom....and your child didn't feel loved and he had this information....it might be a problem for him...but if you are a great mom...and you love him well....he'll know from what he feels that you never regretted him. I tell her she was the best thing that happened to me (true)...because I wasn't exactly living as I should have....I instantly took to the motherhood thing...and fully embraced responsibility....leaving detructive behaviors behind. My daughter is a teacher today. Best Wishes.
P.S. I don't think I ever said accident...more like unplanned...really...I think I just said...I was...I was pregnant when we got married...I don't think I actually said anything more...besides...her second one was unplanned (even though she was married)...and it is one of the best unplanned events of her life...so from her experience...she knows unplanned doesn't equate mistake...
2007-02-23 14:20:43 · answer #5 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not any need in this world to tell anyone they were an accident. They are there because God intended for them to be. The subject should never even be brought up. And you are jumping way ahead, why would he ask if he was an accident?
2007-02-24 00:18:58 · answer #6 · answered by snowman68 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not say accident.. I would probably call his conception/birth UNEXPECTED or UNPlANNED instead. I was a baby concieved in a divorce, lol. I dont think it exactly matters what you tell him, as long as you SHOW him that he is loved. I have 4 children and none of them were planned. Two were definately OOPS babies for my husband and I.
2007-02-23 15:49:23 · answer #7 · answered by Rebecca 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"i got pregnant by accident and was unprepared" and what caused this "accident"? Obviously you were unprepared, but that doesn't make a child an accident. An accident is something that can be repaired or replaced not a child. You had sex. You weren't prepared to have sex...you got pregnant...that's not an accident that was a CHOICE. You chose to enter into an activity that you were not prepared to get into, it resulted in you having sex and getting pregnant...so you didn't have him by accident you had him by choice.
2007-02-23 14:37:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know, I think an accident is okay, as long as you let him know that he was loved from the very beginning ad that it wasn't a BAD accident. People nowadays have kids.... mostly by accident, at least the younger generation anyways. My two kids were both accidents, but the best two accidents I'v ever made in my life =)
2007-02-23 14:19:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
dont say it was an accident tell him he was unplanned but that as soon as you found out that you were pregnant you were excited to know that you were having a baby and that you wouldnt trade him for the world my husband and i were "accidents" my parents were young and unprepared and his were old with 4 other kids but we both know that regardless of the circumstances of our conception that our parents love us so i wouldnt worry about it your baby will understand
2007-02-23 15:00:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋