I am married with children and I have fallen in love with someone. I have never been in love until now, and she loves me as well. She tells me every day. And we talk all day every day. My marriage has been horrible for years. The end is inevitable. This girl is also in a relationship, and will not leave her man at this time. She says that in 10 years, after she has lived life some, she wants to spend the rest of her life with me. I am 10 years older than her (she is 19), and I fear that i will never find anyone like her ever again, she is LITERALLY perfect for me in every way, and she says she feels the same way about me. Each day I am consumed with the despair of not being able to hold her, and she tells me its ok, that she loves me so much, etc etc. What the crap do I do? Im dyin over here. If you need more info get in touch.
2007-02-23 14:08:48 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well I had almost the same situation except I was the younger girl, so here's my perspective:
When people are older, they've usually been through alot of relationships or even marriage, so they're looking for someone to settle down with. A relationship with someone older is usually a MUCH bigger deal, is more intense and less casual than a relationship with a younger person. And it's clear from the way you talk about her that this IS the case with how you feel about her: very serious!
She probably knows this and just isn't ready for that sort of commitment yet. Being in a long-term serious relationship starting when you're too young can make you feel like you're missing out on some of the adventures of living life by yourself. If she says wait 10 years that's probably all you can do. There's always the chance she'll find someone else, but the fact that she even said this is a pretty good indication that she's serious about you. The only way to solve this is to give her the time she needs, if she feels she can't be with you now then that feeling on her part would make the relationship fail. If you can relax and give her time to do her thing, just be there as a friend but not act like you're desperate to be with her (if you do act like this and she's not ready it will push her away), then chances are if what you say is true she'll eventually come to you and it will be so much better because she won't have any doubts.
2007-02-23 14:20:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man are you crazy? Things may be bad in oyur current marriage but if you try anything with that other girl things will get much worse really fast. Look if you and your wife are done just get a divorce don't drag her into your selfish world. And to complicate things even more you have children. I'm not trying to dogg you out or anything but it's men like you who make the rest of us look bad. Besides the girl is 19 and you are darn near 30 what in the world can she do for you. I mean there may be some things you have in common but she is just barely legal. She probably doesn't even know anything that could connect you guys into something long term. Ask her if she remembers School House Rock ? Probably not.
That's just my opinion.
2007-02-23 23:57:34 · answer #2 · answered by ltwatkins77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to get in your face about the marriage vows like someone up there did. People change and grow. Sometimes they grow apart I get that.
My concern is her age. I've been 29 for over a decade now, but I still remember being 19. She only thinks she knows what she wants for the rest of her life. C'mon...think back. Do you now want what and who you wanted when you were 19???
Sure, a 2 parent home is the ideal situation but if one or both of the parents aren't happy, the kids will pick up on that. They're children...that just makes them young, not stupid.
Just remember, life is too short to waste it being miserable.
Good luck. I hope things work out for you.
2007-02-23 22:37:40 · answer #3 · answered by Tish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The grass is always greener on the other side. You aren't living with her, you don't have to solve daily problems/issues with her, you don't really know how she handles a crisis or money or anything else, so what makes you think she's perfect for you, because she's young and easily awed and impressed? Come on, what makes you think being with her in the real, day to day stuff would be any easier than your 'crap marriage?" You seem way too wrapped up in your feelings and yourself, what about your kids, sir?
2007-02-23 22:50:53 · answer #4 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So you both break up your current relationships and you alienate your children and dishonor your marriage vows, then you guys get married, and use the same vows. What makes you think that this time they will stick? No wonder your marriage is bad-or do only you think so?-if you're out looking while she's home taking care of YOUR responsibilities. You have no honor, leave that girl alone. I would never trust you again, and you're teaching your kids that you honor all of your promises, unless something else comes along!
2007-02-23 22:22:04 · answer #5 · answered by pitmanette 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Does ur wife knows about this?
Kids are not going to be happy with divorced parents
2007-02-23 22:18:32 · answer #6 · answered by Pretty 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ya'll are young and confused , I don't know what to tell you
at 40, just go for what you want I think
at 60 probly don't
2007-02-23 22:13:41 · answer #7 · answered by icaredeeplyaboutsomeone 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Perhaps you should all consider polyamory.
2007-02-23 22:17:55 · answer #8 · answered by Radagast97 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋