Ok, I want to get married to the love of my life since sophomore year. But, my family doesn't want me too. And they say it is either him or us. And if I choose him then I am out of their picture and everyone will not forgive me and dislike me. And I really dont know what to choose? Please help. I can only choose one cant be both so which one should I choose?
2007-02-23 13:54:29 · 16 answers · asked by jsmb124 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
for you people asking how old I am I am 22
2007-02-23 14:05:30 · update #1
family is most important, but I feel like they should understand, if they love you.
I mean your family doesn't have to like what you do, but they should love you and respect you for the decisions that you make.
2007-02-23 13:56:58 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since sophomore year of what? And how old are you?
Depending on your age, you might be really jumping the gun here. Consider the divorce rate in this country, and consider the possibility that your love-emotions are overriding better judgment. If your relationship is strong enough to want marriage, it should be strong enough to not need it immediately.
It sucks that your family is giving you this ultimatum, but I would at least take it as an indication that marriage for you at this point would be an enormous step with some serious implications.
2007-02-23 21:59:56 · answer #2 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first - how old are both of you?
second - has your guy been disrespectful to you/belittled you/unable to hold a job/cannot stay out of trouble?
third - are both of you gainfully employed - can you support yourself separately from him and can he support himself separately from you?
If you are too young, no surprise as to the lack of parental support. Same thing with not being able to support yourselves. It can be very tough and many relationships do not survive financial obstacles if the couple is not prepared. They cannot be expected to be financially responsible for you or both of you if times get rough. And if your parents see that you are too blinded by affection/lust/love to see some obvious danger signs - of course they want you away from him. Then again they just may not like him.
They might be not want to make themselves appear to be "available" to you if something bad like a nasty argument happens if you got married. Marriage is a big step. The more prepared, realistic and mature about the responsibility - the better off you will be. "Til death do us part" is what you each vow - NOT "Til something better comes along".
You can't go running home to mommy and daddy every time something bad might happen. If you are mature enough to be married, then you should be mature enough to manage your own life/problems/disagreements with your guy.
Right, wrong or indifferent , parents can be like that. They probably do not want you to get hurt, but they may also have to let you know that you cannot make a decision they feel you are not ready for (right or wrong). Harsh, I know - but that is what reality can be if you are unrealistic about what to expect from a marriage. That person should not be your other half - he should have the right qualities - trust, respect, honesty, hard-working, dedicated and responsible. And you should like him as a person aside from just loving him.
Now if your guy is all of those things and you are both prepared and financially stable - and your parents are still not supportive, then they may be unwilling to accept him no matter what - even if he were Bill Gates - sometimes parents can be too stubborn. And if so, it is their loss...But they can't hold a grudge forever. Just remember...
2007-02-23 22:17:18 · answer #3 · answered by foxxzymama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i honestly cant tell you .... but look at it like this..happiness is love .. love is happines.. you cant have one without the other. family is supposed the support.. the one thing you can always go back to .. family is supposed love you regardlez of mistakes faults and dissagreements.. ( your family doesnt understand these values.) .. the mother and father should be the main ones especially since they are the first authority... if you are madly in love.. and care about this person . and truely feel they love you just the same.. you didnt loose your family your family lost you ... if you dont marry the love of your life you caould be miserable foir the rest of your life.. so if it was me id marry the one i love. and my family would have to get used to it.. and if they would not. you still have love and support form the one you love thru thick or thin.. ( i think your family would come around. eventually ) . especcially your mother. no tru mother can live without their child.
2007-02-23 22:01:57 · answer #4 · answered by lndsylcs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is your family responding the way they are? Is she not treating you right? If you find yourself always on the defensive and having to defend her, the relationship won't work. Never choose anyone over your family...family is always there for you no matter what. Can't say that about all wives or loves
2007-02-23 21:59:11 · answer #5 · answered by tiki/more 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay if your family would do that to you...thats cold..i mean if you truly love this person like you say you do..."choose" them..your family shouldnt put you into a situation like that...they need to take into consideration that youre a old enough to make your own decisions such as..who you marry and they need to support you...you love the person marry them...start your own family..hey after all thats why we were put on this earth...to reproduce lol..marry the person! if its what you want...your family will forgive you if they care..if they love you like a family should..they will forgive you!
2007-02-23 21:59:13 · answer #6 · answered by RiRi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm... i'd say stay wit your parents and then when your old enough to work and can be able to move out and pay your own bills and have extra money then you get married because sophmore year *i think* is to early to get married. wen u get married u nd ur partner huv to do everything together. visit places around the world live ur life, because its only happens once. Good Luck!
2007-02-23 21:59:27 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing in life that i've learned is that your family doesn't always care what you want. They seem to tell you things just to see if you'll listen or not. I would have to say to go with your heart. If your family cares about you at all they would want you to be happy. It doesn't make much sense to me. Most families will lwt people do what they want as long as they're happy, unless your wanting to go postal or something. I would have to say follow your heart; your family will come to their senses.
2007-02-23 22:03:35 · answer #8 · answered by mighty1981mouse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok it all comes down to how much you love the girl. If you want to spen the rest of your life with her, go for it. Family always comes around. This could be your one chance at love. Go for it!
2007-02-23 21:58:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i would tell your family that he is the love of your life and that they should be happy for you, and if not, well, i would stick with family
but definetly dive your heart and soul into them by trying to convince them
maybe have him over for dinner or something with your family so they can see how good he really is for you
but, will u answer my question?
username: spicycheesepizza10
2007-02-23 21:58:22 · answer #10 · answered by spicycheesepizza10 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋