My best friend is starting to get mad at me for weird reasons everyday. When I tell her that I want to hang out with my boyfriend she gets extreamly mad at me. She says that she never gets to hang out with me or that i am always with my boyfriend - which is not true!
This causes a huge fight that usually only lasts a day but I am getting sick of it.
I dont want to lose my best friend but I cant handle her being mad at me everyday.
What should I do?
2007-02-23 13:51:59 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
See the problem is is that she has a boyfriend but they only say hi to each other. Plus i have taken a breather. I have not spent some time with her and when i do talk to her about how i feel she either gets mad or depressed. I dont have her join me and my bf because she wont invite her bf along so then she will be all alone and mad/ sad.
I try to tell her how i feel but i am afriad that she is going to get mad at me or end our friendship. i enjoy her company and dont want to lose her as a friend.
2007-02-23 14:42:04 · update #1
Honey, you need to understand something here. Before this boyfriend came along...you and your best friend were doing everything together. She's hurt that she's not included in that anymore and that you have someone else to share things with. I understand it is a different kind of thing, but if she is truly your best friend, getting mad at her is not the answer. Include her in things you guys do...or better yet, set her up with one of his friends. Then you'll always share everything. This is one of those hard parts of growing up. And keep in mind....really good friends...like your best friend...are far and few between. Boyfriends will come and go, but your best friend will always be there for you.
2007-02-23 13:57:28 · answer #1 · answered by Hollynfaith 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Take a break from her. Spend time with her, a little more than you do now. Talk to her. Explain that you want to spend more time with your boyfriend, which you should, but you hope that she'd always be there for you. If she's your friend you should be able to talk with her. She clearly must not have a boyfriend, so she could be jealous of that. Be open and honest with her, and she'll most likely tell you whats upsetting her. If you can't hang with her, call her more often, just to see how her day was and how she's doing.
Remember, if something happens with the boyfriend, you need someone to help you get through it. Your boyfriend should understand if you want to hang out with your girl once in a while.
2007-02-23 14:03:11 · answer #2 · answered by Hannah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I bet she doesn't have a boyfriend, maybe never has had one. It's hard to adjust when you've been real tight but now you want to spend a little more time with a bf and she doesn't have someone of her own to take up the space you have left in her life--and that's what she's reacting to, that you no longer need her and pretty soon won't want her around at all. Set aside a time when you and she can talk, privately, without interruptions--and let her know she is still very important to you but you are growing up, as she is, and like spending some time with your bf. It doesn't mean you are cutting her out of your life. And when she gets a bf of her own, maybe you could all go out together. It won't be easy for her because she feels she's losing a friend when she ought to be happy for you. Be patient, but also don't cancel your life just to keep her company. She needs to grow up too and learn that you can still be tight without spending all your time together.
2007-02-23 14:13:33 · answer #3 · answered by Inundated in SF 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure you don't forget about your friends. Don't neglect her just because you have a boyfriend. You need to set time aside for her as well. Boyfriends come and go but good friends last forever. Shes feeling left out because, as you said, you took a breather. She might just find a new friend who won't set her aside when a guy comes into the picture.
2007-03-01 19:40:12 · answer #4 · answered by chicklette0008 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend is feeling left out and afraid of losing you. However, her insecurity is a problem she must seal with. Her anger is not really anger, but hurt and fear, Reassure her that she rates high in your life and explain that you need to spend time with your boyfriend, but also tell her you have no plans to leave her as your friend, just that you may have to share your time now. Make sure you tell her that she is valued to you and that you tell her you understand how she feels, but that your friendship is still secure. She's just missing you, that's all, be kind and understanding, but stand your ground, because you do have a boyfriend now who also wants your attention. Don't choose, keep them both in your life and have a heart to heart talk with her. Good luck!!
2007-03-03 13:24:50 · answer #5 · answered by poopski 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her basically what you just told us. Maybe there are other issues bothering her. Maybe she just feels left out due to your boyfriend. It's hard when your friend gets involved with a boyfriend. I think she should know you don't want to lose her friendship but her behavior is hard to cope with.
Hopefully channels of communication will open and you and your friend can talk your way past this problem.
2007-02-23 13:58:02 · answer #6 · answered by Karrose 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your friend misses you. I take it she doesn't have a b/f. Pick certain days of the week to spend time with her and certain days to spend time with him. And let them both know who's day it is. And if this still doesn't work see if your b/f has a friend to set her up with. That way the 4 of you can hang out. Because no one likes being the 5th wheel, it would make her feel more comfortable.
2007-03-02 12:46:30 · answer #7 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think of doing what your bf would do. Just tell her honestly and directly that she is getting to you and define the new limits of your friendship because of your new relationship. I think I know what this is as my own sister stops speaking to me each time she gets a boyfriend. And each and every time it is because the guy is too controlling when it comes to her free time. Women want to spend every minute with "him" at the expense of their friends. If he demands every minute that is controlling and abusive. Women should just do like men and be honest and say what you mean for once. Talk to her.
2007-02-23 14:22:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if shes really ur best friend she wouldnt get mad at u she would be happy 4 u if she had a boy friend she wouldnt act like that shes jealous help her find sum one so she ant on ur case trust me i know i had a friend like that and when she meet sum 1 she didnt care if we hung out or not cause she had sum one but u do have to make time 4 ur friends like they say boyfriends come and go friends r 4 ever always remember that good luck!
2007-03-03 07:49:16 · answer #9 · answered by natasha k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she doesn't want to share you. She's jealous of your boyfriend. I would suggest you help find her a boyfriend or take a break from her for a few days. Tell her you had too much work, homework, chores etc.. Stall her for a few days. Take a breather.
2007-02-23 13:55:08 · answer #10 · answered by xjaz1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋