ok i know my mom loves me and things, but, she abandoned me. this wasn't the first time either. she started leaving me w/ babysitters for 4 days(when she was suppose to come home that night) since i was a baby. ive had 2 live w/ my grandparents 2 many times 2 count and i have had 2 move about 15 times within 15 yrs. i live w/ my dad now but i can't seem 2 forgive. i want 2 but i still cant stand 2 tlk 2 her. i feel sick tht its come 2 this but everytime i think about her i feel like crying and think about wht she has done 2 me. i don't no wht 2 do???
plzz help
thank you
2007-02-23 13:40:07 · 18 answers · asked by Sarah B. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
i think you need to stop holding grudges about the entire situation. in the long run, right now, you are only hurting yourself. it sounds like your the one with the torment, and without talking to your mom, she isnt in torment about it. how could she, when she doesnt know how you feel about it? im sure she is tormented by everything thats happened. but, as a mom myself, and im far from perfect, i know that when ive messed up royally, i do my best to get past it mentally, and try to get past it altogether.
its harder to do when kids are older and cant get past it themselves.
one day, your just going to have to accept that she is who she is. you wanting her to change will not change her. it sucks, but its reality. i think if you started a diary, it would greatly help YOU. only because, you obviously need someone to talk to, and something like this is so personal that its easier to kind of talk to yourself. ya know?
i hope all works well for you, and hopefully you will take my advice to heart.
trust me, as a woman whos had a druggie father for my entire life, its not something you want to continue to deal with, because its only going to get worse for you. inner demons.
thinking is our own worst enemy sometimes.
2007-02-24 06:18:01 · answer #1 · answered by midnyghtcloud 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you've had such a hard time of it. Remember your mother is human and is subject to all the unfortunate flaws we all have. Unfortunately that means that she fell into drugs which will always come first unless she gets off of them and stays off. I have a few suggestions for you. First know that she created her problem and you were an innocent who got caught in the crossfire. Second, see if you can find a support group for families of addicts. And third, TELL her exactly what you feel, tell her not only of how she hurt you but also your anger and what you think of her. Get it off your chest - you deserve to say your peace. This may not bring her out of where she is, but it will be good for you. Write it in a letter if you feel more comfortable that way. Good luck hun, don't let these problems with your mother keep you from being happy.
2007-02-23 13:55:00 · answer #2 · answered by Trish 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, stay with Dad. Your mom is not well. It isn't that she doesn't love you sugar, she isn't well. She is having a hard time taking care of herself. I am sure when she was a little girl she had dreams of having a family and a daughter just like you. She is spinning in her own world. She is feeling guilt about how her life has turned out and she is not happy about being away from you. She is selfish but it isn't her fault all the way. There are many illnesses that are not easy to understand. It isn't like she had a heart attack or things we are very familiar with. She does have an illness but it is in her chemical balance. She is imbalanced. She was born with not enough chemicals to help her think properly. Baby girl, stay with Daddy, know that he loves you, your grandparents love you and your Mom loves you too. Mom just can't seem to get things right right now. She needs some professional help and needs to get on medication. Stay focused on your school, on your life and look towards your future. It is very sad and I totally understand your tears but DO NOT let it take over your climb to your future. God loves you and you will be fine as long as you keep focusedon the GOOD things in your life. God bless you sweetie.
2007-02-23 13:50:45 · answer #3 · answered by amazedmaize 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mother is a sick woman. I am sorry you had to grow up that way. You sound like you have some good support with your grandparents and your father.
You can either always be angry at your mother for what she did, or you can forgive her and move on. If you don't forgive your mother, you will always harbor that anger and resentment and you will be a bitter person. You have to let go of that anger to be able to move on. You do not have to forget what she did.
Has she straightened up her life at all? Have you told her how you felt about your life? That helps to let go of your feelings when you speak to the person of whom you are angry at. It is uncomfortable yes, but necessary. But, it would only do good if she was clean when you talk to her. You may not get what you want from her and you may have to come to the understanding that you have overcome your disadvantages and you can become so much more than that. Sit down with her and tell her how you feel. Tell her how sad and angry you are at her for what has happened and for her not giving you a stable life. Thank her for letting you see that you do not ever want to become what she has become.
They had a girl on Oprah with the same lifestyle as you, grew up poor with a druggie mother and a father who was a druggie and mentally slow. She wouldn't go to school and lived in terrible situations. She overcame her situation, started to go to school, did her best to stay away from the temptations her mother had. She wound up with a scholarship and became a valedictorian of her class. She forgave her mother before her mother died of Aids. She found out her father had Aids and her sister was legally blind. She did well. She made her mind up. She didn't let what happened to her get to her and make it her life. She overcame it. Bad things can be turned into good things.
If you harbor bad thoughts and let anger eat you up, you have no room to grow. Your mother made some bad decisions in her life and she can only change if she makes her mind up to. Hugs to you. I will say some prayers for you. Best wishes to you and your family.
2007-02-23 13:54:57 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you should do is both call the police or call CPS. i comprehend it really is a really confusing element for a baby to do to a discern, yet you're not to any extent further assisting her by no longer doing some thing. If she is to the point of stealing money from her baby, she desperately needs help, and she is not any longer going to get it until eventually she is sponsored right into a nook and is compelled to. I deal with toddlers who're victims of abuse, abandonment and forget. maximum are in circumstances the position a discern is utilizing drugs. it really is not any longer a reliable ecosystem for a baby, and it really is risky. If a discern is on drugs, regularly the youngsters develop into victims of sexual abuse and actual abuse from human beings the discern facilitates into the residing house at the same time as they're intense. You deserve a extra appropriate residing house ecosystem than you've. There will be kin you should stay with at the same time as your mom receives the help she needs, yet do not assume her to get help on her own. she would ought to hit bottom first, and regularly dropping a baby is about as down as you will get. the probability you're taking by no longer doing some thing is that your mom would overdose or get herself right into a topic the position she is heavily injured or worse. at the same time as it appears like you'd be doing harm to her, you would absolutely be assisting her, notwithstanding it really is a call you should make. reliable success.
2016-12-04 21:02:14 · answer #5 · answered by barnas 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you have the means a intervention is in order. take as many of her family and Friends together that feel the same way. sit her down and tell her about the things shes done in the past to hurt everyone. and tell her what she needs to start doin and where her life is going if she doesn't change. other than doing that you could try writing a letter with others notations. besides that you can just give it time, your both are still young.
2007-02-23 13:57:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I was an active drug abuser for 32 years and have been clean for the last 2 years and 7 months thanks to a 12 step program.
You have to first understand that she is now powerless over her drug use. She has done it for so long that she no longer can control her usage.
For your own sanity, you can find in your local phone book a support group called Nar-Anon. It's for people in your situation who aren't drug users but live with someone who is a user. There you have an opportunity to explain your situation to as many people as you want and through that you can get advice from others who are dealing with similar situations. It's free of charge.
I can't tell you what YOU have to do but I hope that you look into this suggestion and give it a real chance because it is a burden to try and deal with what you are going through by yourself. There are people out there who are willing to help you but you need to step up and let them know that you need it.
It isn't that you did anything wrong, its because you are paying for someones bad choices - in this case, an active addict. Addiction is an extremely selfish condition and those closest to an addict are the ones who pay the price as well as the suffering addict.
You can get through this. Trust me, it does work. Hang in there and have faith.
2007-02-23 13:42:55 · answer #7 · answered by Awesome Bill 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Altho you are in your Mom's heart (she did have you),,People on drugs often do not know how to make the right choices because they are not thinking clearly.She most likely thought that you would be better with your grandparents because she knew that they could take care of you & give you the good life that she could not.She doesnt seem responcible but was smart enough to let you be with the grandparents & your Dad.Please,,move on with your life,,you are smart,,be happy.Be curtious to her but you dont owe her a welcome wagon.
2007-02-23 13:46:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like the best thing for you to do is find a counselor or someone you can trust and talk to b/c you have all this anger built up inside you and you have to let it out b/c its not good for you!!!and you need to talk to your mom and tell her how you really feel and let it all out so she knows b/c sometimes when people are on drugs they forget about reality and the things that really matter so to sit her down and say mom look we need to talk this is how i feel and spill your guts but ask her nicely to listen to everything you have to say before she says anything then you let her explain how she feels and beleive it or not when yall are done youll feel so much better and it may even change her look on life and who knows with lots of prayer she may come off drugs....well good luck and i hope i helped
2007-02-23 13:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by reigns_wifey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Learn to forgive early and your hurt will never weigh heavy. You are Blessed to have your Mom alive although she has issues that you are too young to really understand. She is doing what she does for a reason. Pray and Pray for her everday...ask for help with her habit and dealing with your feelings. Love your Mom as I'm sure she truly loves you!
2007-02-23 13:45:54 · answer #10 · answered by majickspocketpc 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋