my husband talks to this girl on the phone. I am bothered by it. Is this normal?

Question

I asked him about the calls I found on the phone bill. he says its just a friend. I feel jealous. I dont like it one bit!

Answer 1

Yeah, just a friend... that's what my now ex-husband said about a woman he was having an affair with. When I questioned the phone bill he tried to tell me it was a business acquaintance's number, and that the woman was his wife (she called our house a few times). I tried to let it be and trust him, and did for many years. He committed bigamy and illegally married her 7 years before I found out. He's legally married to her now. Trust your instincts, I wish I had, although I'm glad to be rid of him! I found a wonderful new man that I've married that treats me like a queen.

Answer 2

Don't make a big thing about it, if she's just a friend there is nothing to worry about. Keep an eye on the times of the phone calls and the length. Maybe she's a casual friend who needs someone she can talk to about a problem she's having and it's only a temporary situation. If it's more frequent and late at night for many minutes, then I would ask him if you could meet her. If it's nothing, he shouldn't have a problem setting up a place for all of you to meet. Be honest with your husband and talk to him about your concern about this and ask him to be totally honest with you as well. It can be pretty touchy if you are demanding, it could put him into a corner and he'll sneak behind your back and start lying to you to stay in touch with her, so tread lightly, just sit down and talk about it and try not to let the "little green monster" come out. Good Luck.

Answer 3

Well, who is this girl? If it's someone you know and have gotten to meet, I would not worry -- to a certain extent. What do they talk about? Does he talk to her in front of you? Does he tell you what he tells her? Do the two of you have good communication together?
How often do they talk and how long?

If it's someone he just met, I would be really worried. NO MAN, no matter how 'friendly' they are, just 'talk' to girls they have met as friends without having some other motive. That talking should be reserved only to you, the wife. If he talks to a friend from long ago, again, it depends on content and how long they have known each other, their history, and if you have met her/talked to her.

My husband had a lot of friends who were girls, and I had the opportunity to meet most of them. It was funny because the girls were worried I would become a jealous cougar and try to beat them up. I didn't mind, because all guys have friends, and whether it be a girl or a guy, who am I to step in? My husband never lied to me about any of his friends....except one....and that is why I stated the above about who he talks too.

By the way, if the girl is an ex, be very very concerned. In the end, tell him to cease communication with the girl if it bothers you that much.

Answer 4

Look....I got a little story to tell you concerning this. My cousin's husband was talking to a "friend" at all hours of the morning. We're talking like 3-4 a.m. Anyway, he said it was just a "friend" too. Well my cousin got the bill. He was talking to his friend at least 200 times in one particular month. And that was WITHOUT adding up total talk time!! She went to him and he got an attitude. We still don't know if they were dating or not, but there is a such thing as "women's intuition" which tells us we are right. To make a long story short, this was the straw that broke the camel's back, and now they're separated. If you don't like it, your husband should respect it and quit talking to her. I had to do that with one of my friends. Our friendship bothered my husband, so I cut it. No matter what, my husband comes first.

Answer 5

OK, if you wanted a boyfriend then you wouldn't married him, hello' this is the man you married the man that's suppose to love and protect you and keep you from getting hurt, not the one to hurt you, this is betrayal in my eyes,if he wants girlfriends then he should do it without you, look i so believe in trust but this is ridiculous, you need to sit down and have a talk with him and make some serious rules here and if he cant keep them then you need to leave your going no where fast by staying with someone like this, do not stand for it, You deserve better than that and you should stand up for your self girl! good luck , and i hope I helped you even alilbit

Answer 6

You have a right to feel upset. That's how affairs start... Would he be just as casual if you had boy friends that you talked to? Definitely keep an eye on this type of activity and other changes in his routine (like coming home from work later, leaving early, wearing different clothes etc.).

Answer 7

That's normal to feel that way. It depends the nature of their relationship. Unfortunately so often harmless friendships like that turn into affairs. Everything goes well for a long time, then there's that one time when one or both were drunk and they do something stupid, not necessarily an all out affair, but they cross some line. It's happened to me and it's happened to my friends. It's best for you to have your girlfriends and him to have his guy friends. As much as you want to trust people, sometimes you know you can't because you can't even always trust yourself.

Answer 8

If he doesn't mind having a conversation with her while you are around, I guess I wouldn't be bothered. Why don't you try some reverse psychology. Tell hubby ... if this girl is his friend, she's your friend and you are calling her to invite her over to dinner or the two of you are going out to get to know her. See how he reacts. That should tell you all you need to know.

Answer 9

sorry to hear that , jealousy is not a good thing to get to know .
we is women's have a like six sense you may say that ,be prepare for the worst ,because if he wasn't hiring anything for you ,probably tell you that he wants you to meet her .
phone calls bills is evidence ...the same thing happen to me I don't want to be a bad karma in your life , I do wish the situation other wise , but still give him the benefit of the doubt ,tell him you want to meet his new friend even if it is for phone .
IF he take the crap out you , is a SURE THING ,if he take OK ,don't worry maybe is really a good friend ,last resource call your self but remember you are a lady behave like one...always remember who you are ...control your self please.
Good luck sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 10

You have every right to be jealous... Have you ever met "This Friend"?? And if it's just a friend why hasn't he talked to you about her if its no big deal?? and why is he talking to her when your not around (assuming he is)... LoL I'm sorry I put more questions in your head rather than giving you advice... You need to tell him its bothering you because if you don't its going to continue....