Is anyone out there a "Tibetan Buddhist"? If yes, where can I go in San Diego, Cal. to learn under a .....

Question

teacher - Tibetan Buddhism, The Dzogchen Lingeage ?

I greatly appreciate any advice "From anyone who is a practicing Tibetan Buddhist." Thanks.

Answer 1

Ah, my child, the universe has smiled upon you, for I am a Tibetan Buddhist. I will teach you how to ying your yang. I will show you the seven steps to nirvana banana, and I will teach you to meditate until you vegetate. The key to total harmony is to focus in on your navel. In the lint and dirt of your navel are the same conditions that the cosmic spirit used to spark life. Simply place your right pointer finger on your navel and your left pointer finger on your forehead. Lift up your right leg and close your left eye. Run your tongue back and forth across your front teeth, while saying la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. When you are able to do all of this for an hour straight, you would have proven that your are worthy as a student, and I will personally come and remove all of your material possessions (your money, your playstation, etc). I await your call weed-hopper. In the meanwhile this Tibetan Buddhist will refresh himself with a Tibetan Bud-Lite. Ying Your Yang!