My friend's husband has been going to counseling for the past 8 months because my friend wanted a divorce since the day they married. When she went to ask again for a divorce he told her that he had been going to counseling for a few months and really wanted things to work.
She blames him for everything when she has issues with kissing other men and is an emotionally bully to her husband. He lacks communication and she says he is a "robot." She really has a decent amount of problems too.
She has refused to go to counseling with him and admits he has improved with counseling. She thinks she doesn't need any help and can work out her problems on her own.
She just got pregnant by accident and doesn't want to have the baby, the husband does though and asked her to go with him to his counselor so they can talk about it. She has refused again even though she never wants to be a mom.
What do you think about this situation?
2007-02-23 10:49:02 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
WOW! It sounds like this lady has some issues. It does not sound like she ever wanted to be married in the first place. I've been married for 7 years and it takes TWO people to make a marriage work. If one is unwilling to commit, and work stuff out then it's not gonna work. I also worry about the baby. If she doesn't want him/her she should give the baby to her husband.
2007-02-23 11:00:29 · answer #1 · answered by cat 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds selfish to me, the fact that he went to counseling shows that he is willing to do whatever it takes to make the marriage work. The fact that she is the one who wants a divorce yet she doesnt want to go to counseling shows that she doesn't care about the marriage in the first place. Why would she be kissing other men if she is married? The husband may also not be able to communicate if she is a bully, he would be afraid to share his opinions/feelings. I think this woman DOES need to go to counseling. Chances are a counselor would tell her how selfish she is. I don't know what the husband's problems are but by going to counseling it shows that he at least wants to work on his problems and the problems in the marriage.
2007-02-23 18:56:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sad.
I wonder why he is acting like a robot. Wife disrespecting him by kissing other men in front of him, and god knows what else. He is a sad sack of a man, yet he loves her so much to put up with her behavior. Well shes now pregnant how wonderful. Well now that there is a child involved for the next 21 so years it is just as easy as counseling. He should divorce her after the child is born and take his kid home with him, then file. Have her pay child support since she doesnt want to be a mom. Yet have sex???? Wonder how that happens. What a ******* mess people make....
2007-02-23 19:06:42 · answer #3 · answered by pauljpray 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One thing I read into this and between the lines. She has no respect for her husband and I doubt very much she even loves the man.
I'd say the best thing he could do for himself and his child, is give her the divorce and get on with life.
You don't want misery in the home and you certainly don't want to bring child up in that atmosphere. The child would feel guilty and the father needs someone to love and be loved.
Something was wrong right from the start.
As for the kissing episodes, I'd say she was and is doing this to make him jealous and all for the wrong reasons.
Let her go. Forget about the counselling. He is wasting his time, and funds. the counsellor is only repeating what he already knows.
2007-02-23 19:01:34 · answer #4 · answered by aotea s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think, they both have the right to handle the problems as they see fit. If he wants to go to counseling and she doesn't - it is their individual choices, neither is right or wrong, it's just what works for them. Obviously, they both choose to still be married to each other, so whatever the other person does works good enough for each of them. If she wanted to divorce him, she would have already; in today's day and age, a man doesn't have the power to keep the woman in the marriage against her will. He is a free man, too - he could choose to go look for someone else, and yet he sticks around; so whatever problems she might have are acceptable enough for him. It all comes down to a personal choice, don't you think?
2007-02-23 19:06:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a hard question to answer because it has alot of moral and ethicl questions that are often opinionated.All the answers you will get are what we think and not necessarily the right answer. My opinion is that if she doesnt want to save the marriage than you have to let her go. She has the right to what she wants even though how selfish we find it. For the husband he has to learn to accept that its over and you cant make someone love you.The baby should have a fighting chance with a loving father and no part of a mother that does not want the child.We should not make our children pay for our mistakes.
2007-02-23 18:57:54 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds as if the wife is a self centered human being who doesn't want to let anyone else tell her about her sh*t. Hearing it from someone else after it's been aired would probably give life to issues stemming from her that she wants to ignore. She probably shouldn't have gotten married in the first place, and it seems like she wants out. It also sounds like she is very insensitive to her husband. Could it be that she married for money? It's too bad, because if she has the baby the situation could be very bad for that child.
2007-02-23 18:56:28 · answer #7 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's tired of talking. It's very unfair to the child to keep an unwanted baby. The only thing to talk about possibly is abortion or adoption, however it's still her body, she gets to make the final decision. IF she changes her mind they should find a counselor for "them", not use "his". The best counselor is still human. He/she has been hearing things about this woman and the relationship (good or bad) for 8 months, he/she has formed an opinion about her/them.
2007-02-23 19:00:14 · answer #8 · answered by Mike M. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is terribly sad. I am happy that the husband has been going. The wife needs to be reminded that this is a partnership, not a one night stand. Both of them need to be emotionally healthy for this marriage to work, especially with a baby on the way.
2007-02-23 18:53:06 · answer #9 · answered by r.p. 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds like someone who refuses accept any responsibility for anything.
She has a husband who apparently cares about his marriage, and she is showing indifference to it.
She should be thankful for what she has. Some men wouldnt be so concerned.
She needs to consider his feelings in the baby issue.
She seems really self-centered in just about every aspect to me.
Truly a sad individual.
2007-02-23 18:59:37 · answer #10 · answered by Truth Teller 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋