... and of course it killed our marriage, so how do I move on from here?
I managed it all wrong--you're not going to believe this, but when she would go 'drug crazy' and demand money for drugs, I would give it to her... I reasoned that if I didn't, she would do something for it that could get her murdered or raped. She also stole--yes, stole--thousands of dollars from me over our marriage. And EACH time I caught and confronted her, she broke down into tears, and I forgave her.
She cheated on me with four other men in our marriage... and if she admitted to four, there was probably more.
How does someone get into that state where she will use and abuse the one she claimed to love? Is it 100% certain that she didn't actually love me but simply used me? Is it inevitable that she will treat all future men in her life like she did me?
Should I try to laugh this experience off as a bad joke? I don't think I will ever get over what she did to me.
2007-02-23 10:45:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Nancy, yes, I could sorta tell she was emotionally needy when I met her. In a way that's what attracted me to her. Of course, I didn't know she had serious drug issues.
I think you're right... I found her vulnerability appealing. I wanted to help her and be her 'rock'. I guess it was out of my hands, though.
2007-02-23 11:02:36 · update #1
... and Germaine, it's funny you should mention a book... I do find writing very cathartic, and I have toyed with the idea. It'd be a fascinating story, if only it wasn't MY story!
2007-02-23 11:05:05 · update #2
I am very sorry. May I ask a question? Was she needy before you started you married her? If so, maybe your attracted to helping individuals. I would suggest that you take some time to figure out what you saw in her in the beginning to avoid making the same mistake in the future.
Good luck to you.
2007-02-23 10:57:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! I feel for you bro! I don't think you could possibly laugh this off. This was no joke it is a harsh reality that you allowed her to do all this to you. Obviously you were more in love with her than she was with you. I've been there, but not like you. I think in the back of your mind you knew she was doing all this to you, you just couldn't believe she would do it because of your relationship. I think you managed it as best as you could. The problem was that it was a situation that was out of your control. It was her situation to manage, you were just there for the ride. They say love is blind, but this statement is false. Love makes you blind is how it should go. Love makes you look past things you would normally contest. I hate to say this but you were used and that is an understatement. I just think you 2 were a good match. Your person is out there. You may have even met her. I would focus on a friendship as opposed to a relationship. That way you will know her for her true self. You will get over it but it will take time. Surround yourself with good people and something will come your way. Get out there and mingle. You'll catch some hottie. Good Luck
2007-02-23 11:06:42 · answer #2 · answered by killab773 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Forgive her; but have nothing to do with her ever again (that's right! frienship is a no-no!)
Change your social groups and friends, get a new hobby and if you can afford it.... sell the house that you shared with her and move to another neighbourhood.
I wish the best of luck. No matter what you do...LET IT GO! STOP THINKING ABOUT THE SHOULD HAVES, THE COULD HAVES AND WOULD HAVE.
Find your peace and strength in a higher being and live your life to your best potential! :)
2007-02-23 10:54:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you did what was right at the time....drug addicts are users and she probably did love you but she loved the drugs more..The best you can do for yourself right now is forgive her and go on. The forgiveness is more for you than her, it will help set you free of the anger and rage. Ask the Lord for help with this.
2007-02-23 10:54:47 · answer #4 · answered by B"Quotes 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
beautiful. A biker had gotten into the habit of calling his female buddy "mom of six" considering the indisputable fact that they had six little ones. She became into rather getting uninterested in it, and ultimately one nighttime she'd had sufficient. They have been on the bar and eventually time he yelled around the bar "hi, mom of six, you waiting to flow away?" She yelled back "each time you're, father of four."
2016-10-01 21:20:56 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you wrote a book, I'd love to read it. Heck, if it got published, you'd be fighting off the women with a stick!
2007-02-23 10:54:41 · answer #6 · answered by germaine_87313 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I am sooo sorry for you. I don't know what to say, really.
This woman has serious, serious issues. Don't beat yourself up over it, it wasn't your fault.
Not sure how I'd deal with betrayal like that either.
2007-02-23 10:48:39 · answer #7 · answered by Rissa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WOW, i thought it was bad having a pot head girl friend you should get a divorce and ask for compensation< or what ever it is called
2007-02-23 10:54:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she may have been bi-polar, mutliple personalities. ya know? this happened to my uncle...very similar situation and actions. they got divorced because they didnt find out she was bi-polar until later but still he just realized that there was nothing else he could do to help. just understand that she chose her actions and you did the bet that you knew how. don't dwell on it.
2007-02-23 10:52:47 · answer #9 · answered by jessicamichelle 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋