I have full physical custody of my daughter who is 7. Her biological father comes like once a month. He didn't have anything to do with her until she turned 4 because he had quit working for school so they adjusted his child support so that he would have to pay more then $150.00 a month. After her 4th Birthday, his child support was raised so he decieded to get me back by decieding to actually start being in his child's life. I have stopped talking to him and still allow him to see his daughter whenever he wants and talk to her when he calls but he is mad because he claims that by me not talking to him, it is causing my daughter stress which it isn't. I also have voice messaging. Am I obligated to talk to him, if I don't prevent him from seeing my daughter, and if he tries to take me to court for custody, can he obtain it even though I have full custody? He lost a job 4 months ago, child support had been reduced, now he has a job and is paying more so back to court he claims we will go
2007-02-23 10:29:49 · 20 answers · asked by Tammy 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
He could petition for custody for any reason. BUT that doesn't mean you have to talk to him, he can't use your daughter's pysch profile against you without getting a professional to speak with and document that your relationship with the father is the specific reason for the child's distress. I say get a school counselor or you can talk to your daughter about it figure it out for yourself you. Regardless you DON't have to talk to him. There have been so many custody cases where the biological parents just don't get a long and it is actually advised that the communication be limited to the child and in other cases that the parents have no communication ie when the father calls the mother can't speak to him and has to give the phone to the child. I doubt that any judge would see this effort of his as proof of you being unfit, it seems more like you are protecting your child's wellbeing but not saying bad things about her father, or arguing with him while she's in earshot. Really for a man who wakes up 4 years after his child's birth and realizes he wants to be a part of her life, who is he to say you are unfit.
2007-02-23 12:07:42 · answer #1 · answered by LoveLeighe 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow girl you are talking about two entirely different things here.
One is child support
The other is custody of the child in question.
These do not go together! I have been told by more then one attorney this. Spent lots of money learning this. My ex owes over $20,000. Do we talk, does he contact his kids, not unless it is good for him. Legally can he see his kids, oh yes yes yes. I can not tell him he can not see the kids.
As for custody, it is who is better for the child. If your ex has a family who is supporting him fully with the raising of his child. You the mother (lets say) do not and has to have strangers watch and help raise the child, he can get legal custody these days.
Most kids do go with there mothers, but more and more fathers are winning in court.
For your own good get not only physical custody of your child, but get legal custody through a court and have that judge sign that piece of paper. If not thinks could get real scary. In this court the other side can bring up everything you ever did in your life. Little rowdy in high school?, it will be brought up.
Good luck and get to know the law (or have a talk with a attorney)so nothing bad happens....If you do have court papers the ex can contest this which will cost you $$$$
2007-02-23 10:43:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Although you may not want to talk to him, for the best interest of your child you might want to. You need to communicate about whats going on with your daughter, that is very important. You don't have to talk about other issues, but you should talk about your daughter. He could win partial custody if he takes you to court (although I think you'll probably end up with most of the custody). Unless there is some big factor that makes you want to keep him out of her life (such as a criminal record), he has a right to see his daughter, and for her sake, it would be best if you two attempted communication.
2007-02-23 10:36:13 · answer #3 · answered by blue_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He decided to get back at you by deciding to be in his child's life? That doesn't sound very effective. Off the top of my head I can think of hundreds of better ways. Are you sure he doesn't just want to be in his daughter's life?
Anyway, you are obligated to talk to him in matters to do with the child, such as healthcare and education etc. For your daughter's sake you both need to be civil to each other.
Custody can be challenged at any time. For the custody arrangements to be changed there usually has to be a good reason. Recently there has been a shift in the way custody is granted - now the default is to equal time shared custody unless there is a very good reason not to.
2007-02-23 10:35:47 · answer #4 · answered by Dharma Nature 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tammy-anyone can ask for anything, but there is no chance he will succeed. You have no obligation to talk with him if you allow him visitation. The last thing a Court will do is disrupt a child's life. Unless he can proof you are an unfit/neglectful mother, he can't win.
2007-02-23 10:35:33 · answer #5 · answered by David M 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes- it is possible for him to make a motion to change custody/visitation.
It is better if you can talk to your ex and not make your daughter a liaison for the two of you. It is not good for children.
You need to suck it up and communicate with him in an adult manner and relieve any stress your daughter may be feeling by being put in the middle.
2007-02-23 10:34:25 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the state and how much money he has. My ex has legal custody even though the kids live with me half time. Also, even though his income is much higher than mine, he doesn't have to pay child support, cuz he's the custodial parent. Finally, he took me to court to force me to raise my 12-year-old son Jewish, against his will. (I'm a Lutheran pastor.) The court agreed with him, although they allowed my son to attend worship with me. (He knows the judges; it helps.)
No you don't have to talk to him. All of our communications are in writing. That's the best decision I ever made.
2007-02-23 10:42:00 · answer #7 · answered by angel_light 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He can attempt to gain custody; that is, of course, not a guarantee that he will succeed in doing so. As far as I know, you are not required to have any contact with him so long as you abide by the court's decision(s) regarding your daughter. If you are following the court decision to the letter, then you need do nothing more; however, that doesn't mean that he cannot petition the court for other privileges.
2007-02-23 10:33:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you child my be old enough that the court would ask her what she wants to do. And no you don't have to talk him. He sounds like a flaky father so I wouldn't have him around her. It would break her heart if he disappeared again. And full custody is very doubtful, especially if you can prove he volentarily left your daughters life. Good luck!
2007-02-23 10:43:08 · answer #9 · answered by smartypants 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you just never know .. without a good lawyer i doubt it and if he really cares for the kid he wont do that because custody could actually bounce back and forth with multiple lawsuits and court appearances ... ive seen it happen and it screws the kids up being in the middle of that... i really dont think he would get her unless ur living conditions are questionable or somthing ...
2007-02-23 10:34:15 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋