The husband has cheated; lies; comes home only when he wants to; doesn't do anything special for his wife; and makes promises that he doesn't keep; he blames her for everything and never takes responsibility for his own actions. The wife believes the husband is still cheating; she won't pretend to act like she doesn't know; she doesn't trust him; she doesn't play his games - so they argue everyday; she feels lonely and unhappy; she is scared that no one will want her because she has kids; and she is very distraught. And they have two small children. What should she do and how would she cope if he tries to make her life a living hell once the divorce is final?
2007-02-23 09:32:17 · 21 answers · asked by HuniBuniBee 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Are you my Siamese twin? I am going through the exact same thing!!! He won't leave you or let you leave, because he knows no other woman will put up with him & he doesn't want to pay child support. Do whatever you have to do, to ensure you & your children's happiness. I became so distraught, that I caught a charge, but despite that I am working hard to pay for my divorce!! I am focused on my future, which does not include another man, until I can secure stability for myself & my kids!!! Trust me, you can do it, & you are not alone........ you have your kids to think about!!! & they need you to be strong & level-headed, so don't let ur evil husband goad you into distraughtiness of the degree that mine did!! You'll be fine. Keep in touch!
2007-02-23 09:47:52 · answer #1 · answered by chevy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wife needs to discuss the reason why he is not giving her the divorce. At this point it sounds like the best thing for both is the divorce... Sometimes divorce may be difficult on the children but it is better then the kids growing up with mostly memories of the parents fighting. As for her worried that no one will want her with children, there are a lot of caring men in the world. We just dont know where they are... good luck
2007-02-23 09:40:28 · answer #2 · answered by mzunderstood182 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The only thing I can say is that the only way the Husband can make the wife's life a living hell is by taking her kids away from her (in my opinion). And to do that the wife would pretty much have to be on drugs without a job or a house. As far as being scared that no one will want the wife.....well you'd be surprised there are GREAT guys out there who could actually care and be a better father figure....don't be scared be excited to be able to give the kids the family life they deserve....and tell the husband to kiss off!!!!!
2007-02-23 09:37:46 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Since she doesn't want to play his games, she shouldn't even argue with him. Let him be the roomate that he has become. You don't argue with your roomates comings and goings...God gave every woman intution. It rarely fails us. She knows what's going on and unless that man wants to stop what he's doing there's nothing she can do about it.
It's not really a matter of him 'giving' her anything. The other party doesn't have to consent to divorce. Is she afraid that he will be violent or abusive? If this is the case she should move now, alert authorities, and go into protective custody with women's services.
As far as anything else, once the divorce is final, she doesn't have to let him know where she lives. They can agree to somewhere mutual for visitation. If she fears he's the type to try to kidnap her kids, she should begin to document any idle threat he makes now. It's probably a good idea to tape his threats as well.
In addition, she should start to stockpile supplies for she and her children now. If she can, she should also begin to save money for expenses and incidentals....don't just fly out the door without giving it some thought and real planning. Right now her last thoughts should be if anyone will want her, she will need to heal from the experience and rediscover herself again. Right now it should be about planning and her children.
Your friend should be thankful for the time he's not home, that means there will be peace in the home and that gives her the freedom to plan. She may want to get a p.o. box and have her mail diverted. If she works, she may want to start planning to get a new job...if she doesn't work, she needs to start working on skills and a resume and network so she can get a job. Just be smart about it....
2007-02-23 09:46:35 · answer #4 · answered by moe497 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i don't think a divorce is the best answer because you have kids i am 17 about to be 18 and i haven't seen my dad since i was five its really hard growing up with out a dad i think that if he is cheating on you then cheat on him but if u don't want to don't just make it seem like you are because maybe he would feel the pain you are feeling or just talk to him about it let him kno how your feeling and dont argue when you talk about it but most of all time some time to just get away sleep out side yo house for a day or too or take a family vacation some where . but divorce is not the answer because you letting him do what he wants without a guilty mind and that aint right
2007-02-23 09:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by b.e.a.utifull 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She could move out of state and not tell him where she lives (I had to do that), even though it's not the best plan. That's the 'last ditch effort' plan. She could get a restraining order, but he'd have to be doing something that would be seen as harassment or abusive behaviour. He may not abide by it, but she'd have SOMETHING to work with. It's not likely she can completely avoid him if he's NOT abusive, due to visitation rights with the children.
Usually in cases like this, where the man and woman divorce for reasons of infidelity or incompatability...the man or woman will EVENTUALLY just accept it and realize that it's over between them.
2007-02-23 09:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by Lisa E 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Why won't husband give a wife the divorce she wants?" Why won't WIFE file for divorce on her own? There is a clause in the divorce decree that states neither party will harass the other one. If he tries to make your life a living hell you just go to court and have him arrested for doing so. But you have to FILE for divorce before you can get one.
2007-02-23 09:36:32 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
she should move forward with the divorce, and not worry about what might be, or what may happen, guys try to convince us that they can do real harm if we don't do things their way but chances are when it is all said and done they usually are just all talk and threats. why stay with a man like this, u will find someone new, if it is a financial attachment, u may need to get a job, but file for your child support also. think they are just threats, to get and keep u under his thumb. there is always someone for everyone, i once thought due to my age that after my divorce there would be no one for me, but not so, there is someone out there who will love u and cherish u, but u have to make some changes in your life, get rid of the one who disrespects u. kids don't matter lots of men like kids.
2007-02-23 10:33:04 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As far as no one wanting her because of the kids, she needs to ook at how many single dads there are now...once the divorce is final, she will be free from him except when dealing with the kids, but she just needs to put her foot down on that...when my ex talks about anything other than our daughter, I straight hang up on him...I don't have to take it anymore...it's actually the greatest feeling...
2007-02-23 09:38:15 · answer #9 · answered by tx girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wife should leave the husband and move far away once the divorce is final
2007-02-23 09:35:32 · answer #10 · answered by Brainiac 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋