i wrote this poem for my first true love, is it good? any suggestions?
I met a girl, not long ago
She was sweet, I loved her so
I thought for a while then moved my feet
Maybe our love was never to be
A few days passed, I talked to her
I was friendly; I began to think, sure
I really like her, she might like me
Then I decided to ask her out finally
I was nervous, but then she said ok
We went to the movie, it ended the day.
We both went home, and went to sleep
This is a love I want to keep.
2007-02-23 09:14:07 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Books & Authors
wrote this poem for my first true love, is it good? any suggestions?
I met a girl, not long ago
She was sweet, I loved her so
I thought for a while then moved my feet
Maybe our love was never to be
A few days passed, I talked to her
I was friendly; I began to think, sure
I really like her, she might like me
Then I decided to ask her out finally
I was nervous, but then she said ok
We went to the movie, it ended the day.
We both went home, and went to sleep
This is a love I want to keep.
if u want to use it, u can.
2007-02-23 09:27:56 · update #1
I'm sorry, but this poem stinks to high heaven. It's just a story. There are no metaphorical references, etc. It has no prose whatsoever. No offense, but don't quit your day job. =-)
2007-02-23 09:23:00 · answer #1 · answered by mspidey2007 1 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Honestly? It doesn't all rhyme nor does it keep rhythm. Work on it! give it more thought - if you can't find a perfect rhyme choose another word that as the same/similar meaning and rhyme with that instead. Spend more time on it - it will get easier with practise ;-) (the poems and the dating)
2007-02-23 09:25:51 · answer #2 · answered by desilk 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is a good poem. A surefire winner. No sarcasm intended.
Don't listen to the rhyming guy. Most famous poems don't rhyme anyway.
2007-02-23 09:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by NeonBlue 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think this poem is great for your first true love. I also think you should be a author if you are good @ poems.
2007-02-23 09:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by Timolin 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Can i use it to give to mmy true love 10.
2007-02-23 09:22:07 · answer #5 · answered by pieloverkid 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its very sweet. A job well done as you expressed your feelings well.
2007-02-23 09:22:27 · answer #6 · answered by lucyshines49 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes, I like it :), It is good, tells a story sweetly.
wouldn't change a thing!
2007-02-23 09:24:52 · answer #7 · answered by CJ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
yes, that was a very sweet poem. is it for your girlfriend?
2007-02-23 09:26:05 · answer #8 · answered by bronx b 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would say it has a certain naive immediacy!! :))
2007-02-23 09:17:51 · answer #9 · answered by drakke1 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
awww.....yea...i think it is supper good!!....u have a talent!! have u showed her??
2007-02-23 09:18:16 · answer #10 · answered by basketball_freak72 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋