How do you decline a 'hand-me-down' from a relative?

Question

My in-laws are constantly giving my husband and me their hand-me-down appliances, bicycles, lamps, furniture, wall art...when we neither need nor want them. My husband does not want to say no to his parents, so he accepts them, usually when I am not home. I want to know a subtle and kind way of declining their goods. I end up having to make runs to Goodwill and the Salvation Army with their junk (and I do not do garage sales).

Answer 1

Take them some of your hand me down stuff...just try to be nice...when they decline...say..." well, we are running out of place to put everything we have..."

That shoud give them a hint... if not, just take your mother in law aside and tell her...not in a group setting...As much as we appreciate the intentions...but we have no use to what you give and goes to waste....you much rather see them give the stuff to someone that really needs the stuff....

If this doesn't work, then give it up....

Answer 2

My in-laws used to do the same thing. They would bring anything and everything thinking that we needed it, when in fact, we didn't need it. I came up with a really nice way of declining the things they would bring to us. The last time they brought us something, I politely told them that we didn't need the couch they brought us. We really appreciated their offer, but since we didn't need another piece of furniture, why don't they just take it to the Salvation Army or Goodwill, or even the Battered Women's Shelter that was in town? The people with those organizations are always more than happy to take any type of donation and 99% of the time, it is tax deductable. They seemed very pleased with that solution, and instead of just bringing us whatever, they started calling first to see if we needed or wanted the item, and if we didn't, my husband and father in law would take them to one of the local organizations I mentioned above. It turned out to be a win win situation, they were able to feel good that their used items were going to good use and we were able to keep our house clutter free.

Answer 3

there r a few ways u can handle this. first i like to put vintage or older appliances on ebay... did u know that vintage appliances in mint condition r sometimes worth more than modern ones?? someone gave me a faberware plug in coffee pot and i put it on ebay it went for $60.00 great 4 something i got 4 free!! my mom gave me some vintage tupperware bowl sets remember the orange and blue ones?? well turns out this is a hot item on ebay they went for $30 per set. second thing u can do is make a round robin of phone calls to friends to say hey?? can u use a toaster?? especially those who just got a new place or have children on the way to college now or next year. most times they take it and they r happy 2 get it 4 free. u helped a friend in need. third say mom day i have a lot of appliances i sure cant use another there is no cabinet sapce. but cant james use it?? this way it sounds like u want it but dont have the space. feelings r not hurt. i hope this helped

Answer 4

It's kinda hard to decline items like that. They are larger and more expensive items (or at one time more expensive), and they probably think they are helping you one way or another. Just keep taking the items to the Goodwill and Salvation Army. You maybe helping someone else out and you can also claim it as a charitable tax donation on your taxes so you get something good out of it.

Answer 5

The only way you can handle this is to be honest in a gentle way. HIs parents may not like what you have to say, but will have to Respect what you're saying.
Just say "I appreciate you asking us if we want things you are no longer wanting either...(bikes, lamps, furniture, wall art etc.) but we honestly don't need anymore things. I hope this doesn't hurt your feelings., but I would rather you(his parents) give it to Goodwilll or Salvation Army as many other people would love to have the things you don't want anymore. They could use it*~ (that way you're being Honest with them and giving them the idea to take it to a charity place that will help many familys* it also allows you NOT to have to make runs to these shops, but allows THEM to do it.
GOODLUCK* (if you don't speak up...it won't get any better)

Answer 6

Be nice , Don't be nasty about it. I feel your pain. Those in-laws can get on your last nerve. I really hope you don't get to this point........but keep in mind that there may be a day that you will need some of the things they keep tossing at you. At least you know they think about you and maybe that's their way of saying they care. Keep doing what your doing. Good luck.

Oh yeah , If it's kind of old you may want to take it to an antique store and see what you can get for it. $$$$$

Answer 7

u . s . a . began to say no the day they elected Bush for president. i won't be able to have faith you think of giving women human beings rights and minority rights a approach or the different positioned u . s . a . on a decline. If that is something it made our u . s . a . extra advantageous and at a miles better status interior the international.

Answer 8

Your husband needs to handle it. I know I certainly would talk to my parents. Perhaps, he feels it's easier for him to accept it than to say no - that's fine; send HIM to Goodwill then, or have him take it to the dump. I think, he really needs to grow some balls, and start declining the offers. I'm sure his parents mean well, but how will they know you guys don't need this stuff unless someone tells them?

Answer 9

I would tell my mother in law in conversation on how you have so much stuff around and are going to start giving it away and or throw it out. I would ask her if she needs anything or knows of anyone who is in need. I would do this prior to her offering you anything. Let her know you have no room and this way it will avoid her offering you the hand me downs.

Answer 10

Well, the way I see it, receiving unwanted gifts from relatives is got to better then them ignoring you. Alot of Flea Market or Garage Sale people will gladly take them, and give you $$$$ too. Recommend finding a lil' ole' lady who needs $$$, and keep her filled with unwanted items, she will have a better life, and you will have joy in yours. God Bless !!