What if you love someone , but they can't keep a job and/or is lazy and only works a little bit and can't even afford to pay the basic bills? Do you stay with them forever? Or is it the old "love don't pay the rent"?
2007-02-23 08:49:57 · 27 answers · asked by yomama23 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
By the way guys, say this significant other is not going to school lol......
2007-02-23 08:57:43 · update #1
This problem has been going on for about 2 years.
2007-02-23 10:46:04 · update #2
OMG - I really just went through this - no, love don't pay the rent - especially when you have your half............ it is VERY frustrating.
I left - to me, I thought that we didn't have the same goals - (I like to travel, go out to eat) I'm always willing to pay my half, but, c'mon, I cannot pay for us both - considering he made 3 times more then me - I have a savings and he doesn't.
It's very sad - I still love him, but, we were not on the same page.
Good love and good luck!!
2007-02-23 08:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by tirebiter 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unconditional love in a guy gal relationship means you love them as they are. However, they need to work. Do you always want to be responsible to pay the rent, the bills, and all the other stuff? Food, clothing, fun things? Teamwork is essential in a relationship of two adults. Besides that, if the lazy one is a guy, get rid of him! I have read or heard somewhere recently that there is something inside guys that makes them want to be the provider. (That is, in regular guys, I guess). Now, if it's a gal-if there is a child involved, the child needs to be properly taken care of daily. Hope this helps. Take care.
2007-02-23 08:57:11 · answer #2 · answered by SAK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember the idea of marriage used to for better or worse. Now it has become come to mean for better or better.
You spouse is having a crisis of some kind and your only concern it rather to stay with forever. What about getting creative at helping him find the answer to his problem? Marriage is suppose to be about emotional support not just financial.
He needs you most of all and your conversation is about throwing him out on the street. This is about communication and understanding as well as taking real action to help the person you love. If you can't handle it yourself get some other family member or friend involved. Some problems our beyond what we as a mate can handle. Be proactive and creative to be of real assistance to your spouse.
It is amazing how marriage become devoid of basic acts of kindness. Find out what works for him and use that to motivate him. It may take embarrassing him into actions. What ever it takes save your marriage and family.
2007-02-23 09:19:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love him that is unconditionaly, you can have dislikes about him. It doesn't mean that you want to leave him. I think the real issue is why can't he hold down a job? What is he doing about it? Is there some issue that is preventing his success? Try talking to him about it, ask if there is anything that you can do to help. Believe it or not it is hard for guys out there nowadays. Most things are geared towards women, maybe he just needs a bit of support and encouragment.
2007-02-23 09:09:57 · answer #4 · answered by Cannuck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know about other people... My love is very "conditional". It's not really about paying rent, or working, or anything in particular - but for me to even consider staying with the person "forever", the two of us must get along and be compatible in our lifestyles, values and goals. I happen to value such things as integrity, respect for yourself and for others, discipline, independence, outstanding work ethic, loyalty, committment to your goals. I couldn't be with a person who seriously lacked in those departments; and anyone who possesses these traits would not be lazy or live from paycheck to paycheck. "Unconditional" love is a myth; there's nothing wrong with having standards and setting conditions.
2007-02-23 09:00:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. There is no such thing as human unconditional love. That may sound crazy, but we love people for what they are or what they are doing. If that changes and it affects our loves (drug use, criminal, etc), then eventually the hardship will cause a issue with how you relate to the person. Your first step is to communicate with your other half and tell them how you feel. Only honesty will help solve any problem that there is. When you start doing thing grievously, you will eventually start harboring resentment, and that is never good for any relationship.
Good luck
2007-02-23 08:58:51 · answer #6 · answered by Michael b 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I know I couldn't stay with the lazy slob!! Love isn't always unconditional, especially if somebody seems to be doing all the work!
2007-02-23 08:54:17 · answer #7 · answered by Stuck in the middle of nowhere 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lately i've been thinking the same.push his a** to work. have a serious talk with him explaining how you feel.some men are rather lazy and tries to take advantage of us. True womena are the weaker sex. we feel sorry for them. but do they?they refuse to work even when there are coutless jobs around.some want woman but really cannot afford to maintain.
Follow your heart. that can be very frustrating.
2007-02-23 08:58:40 · answer #8 · answered by shabin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unconditional love with this one will just lead to unconditional living because that is where they will put you to live if they can't pay for basic bills. do you want that? or do you want to live a nice life?
2007-02-23 08:58:39 · answer #9 · answered by yes, it's me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just because someone can't hold a job doesn't mean that you shouldn't love them. Maybe he just hasn't found that one thing that he loves to do. My friend has a b/f that can't hold a job but he also can't hold them because the jobs he ends up getting are ridiculous.
Maybe YOU have to go get the job that brings home the bacon.
2007-02-23 08:55:47 · answer #10 · answered by dr_mctwitch 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋