My best friends, the infamous Joey Lataka and his long-time best friend and lover, Spencer, plan to get married. They plan on me being the bridesmaid and helping them a lot with the wedding ceremony. But the problem is that neither of their parents aprove (homophobic) and I dont want them to be disowned or somehow seperated or segragated from their family. So I'm very confused. Please help me. Advice?
2007-02-23 08:45:10 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
my parents grew to have more respect for my partner when i wouldnt walk away from her to return home. we made it.
we were together for 8.5 years. after a while i think the parents will come to terms to quit sterotyping and learn about there sons and partner. parents worry more about the gay bashing etc,
hell parents worry about there kids period, but its enlightening when they see they are happy. be in the wedding, be ther friend that they think so highly of you to ask you to be involved and to help them. a damn good friend is hard to find, parents will come around just give it time.
if the couple are ready to get married, then that means hopefully they arent still living with there parents and have financial support from parents, so they can make it on there own.
2007-02-23 09:26:30 · answer #1 · answered by sharma 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is mostly up to his parents whether they want to go to the wedding or not. If their not, well, that is their loss, your two best friends are still going to get married. All you can do it let them know about the wedding, and all of the details, send them an invitation just like the rest of the guest, call them to see if their coming, that's it. You can't talk someone into coming to a wedding, and if they choose not to join everyone on such a wonderful day for the CHILDREN then that's THEIR loss, not your's, and not your two best friends. It is sad that they may not come, and I feel really bad for your two best friends (it must be hard) but just do as much as you can do, and don't feel like it's your fault if something goes wrong (it's not) and just have fun at the wedding, and have a good time with them. It's their day, not their parents :)
Good luck girl! You seem like a great friend!
2007-02-23 17:00:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it'll take some time but if anything, getting married may actually cause them to rethink their views on homosexuality. If they can see a gay relationship work, minus the stereotypical promiscuity that the media constantly hammers into 'straight' minds, it may do them some good! Make sure they make a recording of the wedding on video.
At least from my own experience, parents tend to become more tolerant of their gay kids overtime (good parents at least) although it may take a year, or maybe 5 years, I think they'll come to grips with it!
EDIT: I read your message on the other question I asked. If they are both roughly the same age as you, undoubtedly the parents think its just a 'phase' that they will grow out of in time. I would advise though, if they are still teenagers, against getting married for the same reasons I would recommend straight couples not to get married in their teens...too young!
2007-02-23 16:52:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
At this point if they are your best friend I feel that you should support them in whatever endevor they chose.
Since their parents are homophobic it's the least you can do for them is be their friend. If you choose not to help it will only make them feel more neglected.
so just help with the wedding and be their for their special time.
I'm sure you would want your best friends to be their for you on your special day even if your parents disappove. So just be their friend and help out in the best that you can!
2007-02-26 01:09:13 · answer #4 · answered by annalezam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If there is anyway you get get their parents to come, try. But if not you're all the family they need there on their special day. Family doesn't only consist of blood. I have blood sisters & brothers that I never talk to & my friends are more family to me then they could ever be
2007-02-23 16:59:50 · answer #5 · answered by gitsliveon24 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know, try to talk them out of it (the parents, i mean) and if they don't change, then who needs them? i'd rather have loving parents other than constantly getting hate threats. what kind of loving parents are they, anyhow?
p.s.: i didnt see ur answer until just now. i guess ur right, but a lot of people who use the term bible thumpers mean it in a bad way, so i mistook u for one of those people. sorry
- ⥠RusseL Snout (oink, oink :d)
2007-02-27 05:32:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
They're obviously very much in love, and are not worried what they're parents want. The best thing you can do is be there for them, and be supportive. This is they're day, and if they're happy, that's all that should matter to you, and you should be honoured they asked you...Jim
2007-02-24 14:18:31 · answer #7 · answered by lakecountry40 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rock on! Love is love, baby! Their parents can be glad they found it or they can go suck an egg. Best of luck to them both and you! They're lucky to have such a great friend!
2007-02-23 17:17:19 · answer #8 · answered by 'tis I. 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the parents love their children they'll come to grips with it. Otherwise, nothing their children do will help. It sounds like the parents just want their children to do what they want them to do, not what the children want to do themselves. Tell the parents to grow up or they're going to lose their kids.
2007-02-23 16:55:22 · answer #9 · answered by Kharm 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You can't help it with there parents and all. but help with wedding. if you back down then they might be alittle sad, and I don't think if they're in love that they're going to let poeple get in the way of things. I Wish them good luck!
2007-02-23 16:53:29 · answer #10 · answered by shadowdemon 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋