I am going threw a divorce right now we were only married 2 yrs we have a 10mo old baby that i am taking care of. When i got pregnant with her i got out the military....so now im stuck...I am living with a family right now I want to go to school but i cant cause i have to get a job to be able to support myself and the baby the people im staying with right now really dont have any room for me so i cant stay here much longer...all the apartments have a long waiting list ...plus I breast feed and desperatly need to wean the baby but i have heard not to if she is going threw other changes....what can I do??
2007-02-23 07:32:28 · 16 answers · asked by Crystal M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like me 4 years ago ... I got out of the military when I was prego .. moved in with my husband across the country ... he got sent to Iraq and I went home to visit ... never went back ... those problems you have all sound too familiar ... I worked a full time job and cleaned 2 offices once a week for extra cash ... I put myself on the waiting list for everything the state had to offer - Healthy Families ( really look into that ), Medi Cal, Food Stamps ... whatever it is you really need or can get try ... my day care is a head start program through the school district .. but since you're baby is still a baby day care is something you can't get around ... if you go to school they usually have a program there for single parents and provide daycare ... try to get $ from the dad ( mine hasn't paid for over 4 yrs ) ask all the favors you have from family members and friends ... see if anyone you know has any job offers, babysitters they recommend ... etc ... you really have to work your @ss off to live the normal life ... it's hard and I'm not going to sugar coat it ... but at least you'll have a better idea of what to expect ... not really sure what you're looking for in an answer but if you want some advice feel free to e-mail me ... good luck ... and be strong ... as a single mom you're not going to have the choice .. you have to show the baby you can handle whatever is thrown your way .. without upsetting the kids .. that's the hardest keeping your head up no matter what ... !
2007-02-23 07:56:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a serious question that I do not know if I can tackle all of, as I am not a woman. I hope that since you posted, you have come across some solutions.
First thing, as a single mother, I hope you have close family that can help you with some of the responsibilities of raising a child.
Secondly, I am almost positive that you can get some form of government assistance if it becomes absolutely necessary and...
Thirdly, if you want to go to school, I am sure you qualify for some grants and loans that would help you pay for tuition and room and board while in college.
If you successfully set that up, you'd probably have some debt after college, but, it may help you focus on two very important things for your child:
1) Shelter/Food for 3-4 years.
2) A mother with an education who can provide more in the future for him/her.
At any rate, good luck, there are some serious issues that go into all that that only another mother could really answer, I believe, but I thought I'd go ahead and take a crack at it just to give you something to read and think over until they got here :).
2007-02-23 07:38:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First -- you are NOT stuck. You just have to take things one at a time. Start with constructing a timeline for your self. Get a job, contribute to the family you are staying with and begin to save your money. Since it is going to be just the two of you, you might look into renting a room until you find something better or your number comes up on the waiting list (no lease to break this way). don't worry about weaning your baby, you can start expressing milk and get ready for the changes. i assure you she is probably more resiliant than you. Also, look into working at a daycare or preschool (as a cook or driver if you dont have any childcare credits), then she could maybe go with you, you could nurse, and gain some work skills. Be sure to watch out during the divorce and make sure you get child support. Get offline and make it happen!
2007-02-23 07:41:25 · answer #3 · answered by julini 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a job at a daycare, so you will still be able to be with your baby. They will give you a discount for working there.
Get WIC, they will provide the formula for the baby then milk when the time comes. It's free, just have to quilify.
Find another single monther to roomate with, you could help each other out.
Go ahead and wean the baby, it's not gonna hurt anything, atleast you breastfed for this long. That was very generous of you.
good luck
2007-02-23 07:39:18 · answer #4 · answered by Patricia G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be getting alimony and child support which will be a big help. Can the baby's father help with daycare expenses or babysitting himself? Is there someone else (fam or friend) you and the baby can bunk with until you get on your feet? Once you get settled you can go to school part time and work full time. I did it for 7 years and raised 4 boys at the same time BY MYSELF. Its work but its worth it. Start weaning your baby now!!! You can do this....its done everyday by others. G'luck!
2007-02-23 07:37:47 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all you were in the milatary so there should be some kind of assistance for you also now days single mothers have a better oppurtunity to finacial aid in college and they could probly get you a dorm and he HAS TO PAY child support is there alimony there in the state you live cause i have herd that if you have to leave the milatary due to your spouse they are responsible for you as far as alimony another thing maybe you could go back and i realy dont think there will be a problem with your child i honestly think its old enough to get off of breast milk, i have 5 kids. i know you can do it he is only going to make you a stronger person. believe me i was a single mother of 3 kids for 3 years. and i have found my true love.
2007-02-23 07:42:36 · answer #6 · answered by sandy s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See if you can find another mother with some type of home that you could share with. Sharing expenses can be helpful to both of you.
First find a place to live for you and the baby, with a divorce there usually is joint custody. where the dad gets the baby sometimes.
That is usually has to pay child support. In my son's case his ex wife got the home to raise the child with.Upon selling the home.
he got the money for it . She bought him out but he still has to pay child support and must have medical in surance on his daughter
Once you find a place to live. Then for furthering your education go to night school.
2007-02-23 07:46:15 · answer #7 · answered by mamayer6 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have any family that can accomodate you both and give you some support? It's tough being a single Mother and even tougher in the short-term if you're studying as well. It's a good plan but will be easier if you have support.
2007-02-23 07:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best Answer
Here is the good news. You can alway get back in the military. I was in the Navy for 4 years and even though I will not go back, THE DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN. Just go back into the military or if that fails you can always get Public Assistance for Food Stamps and Housing.
2007-02-23 07:37:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Do you have parents? why don't you go to your local agency to get public assistant till you get on your feet, such as housing, etc. is you husband in the military? because you know, he should be giving you the bah. don't be embarrassed to get public assistant til something comes better for you, it will be hard because of all your feelings, but you have a baby, and that baby comes first. it will take you a little time to get your life on track but don't give up,
2007-02-23 07:42:26 · answer #10 · answered by sonya h 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋