Will this bi-racial marriage ever work?

Question

I have been married four years now and our racial differences are starting to completely destroy me. I am an American of Mexican descent and my husband is white. When we were first together race was never an issue, he loved how I had black hair and bronze skin but now my husband works a lot with Mexicans from over the border who slack off, cause him problems with managers (also Mexican), and push his wages down. Everyday I have to hear an hour on how much he hates Mexicans and how he can't wait to move us to a state with none.
And now when I do something wrong or an argument starts, thats just the "way of my people" to cause such problems. With English being my first language, I have been trying to learn Spanish, but get ridiculed when I speak in front of him. I'm just tired of being seen as a little Mexican problem maker in the white man's eyes! And what gets me the most is his internet porn he hides from me involve Latin women! Did I make a mistake here? I am about to flip out!!

Answer 1

It sounds to me like your husband needs a new job, and you both need some serious counseling if you're going to work through this.

What he's doing is stereotyping, and it is wrong. The workers at his job may be troublemakers, but that does NOT mean that all Mexicans (especially his wife!) are troublemakers as well.

Have you told him how this negativity and racism makes you feel? Have you confronted him about how proud you are of your heritage and how much it hurts when he voices assumptions about you which he knows are untrue?

Sometimes people say stupid and hurtful things without realizing how it will affect the people that they love. What he's demonstrating is a lack of respect, and I can tell that it's hurtful to you.

Good luck; I wish you the best.