I'm 21, he's 25. We're both in college. He has his own apartment, but hes been living in mine. Since we found out I was pregnant on Sunday he changed from being a sweetheart to a complete u know what. Hes done nothing but stress me out. Hes constantly yelling, fighting, telling me i ruined his life. Now, the last few days hes started to tell me how ugly i am getting and how disgusting ill be after having a baby. He said he'll be "there for me" until the baby is born, but hell never tell his family or friends about it. I just cant take this anymore. I thought it was the initial reaction, and hed come around but he hasnt and is just getting worse. What am i supposed to do?
2007-02-23 06:49:23 · 30 answers · asked by Freaked out 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
I would give him a week to come around (which is almost up), then attempt to sit down and talk with him adult to adult and tell him if he doesn't grow up he won't be apart of any of it. Before that, get his parents number, if you don't already know it, I'm sure its on his cell or in a speed dial somewhere or its been on a caller ID or look it up if you have name/location. Tell him that his parents are still welcome to share in their grandchild but he won't be. Also tell him to stop making you out to be some evil harpy, that you didn't sneak around and trick him into impregnating you, that he is equally responsible. After all that, if he doesn't act like a mature human, the next time you are alone, call his parents, tell them there is a grandchild on the way, and they are welcome to be apart of it, but he has decided not to. Tell them that you thought that they should know, and give them your contact info.
Oh yes, and he is still acting like a jerk after the talk, don't just kick him out, ignore him 100% but start to make sure that he'll be at the minimum, bearing financial responsibility with you.
Good Luck.
My boyfriend whom I live with, could talk about nothing but abortion for the first week. After that I told him not to talk to me at all. I told him that "this is not the right time" is not a good enough reason for me to have an abortion. 3 weeks later we were able to talk like adults. Now I'm 5 mts and he is SOOOOO excited!
2007-02-23 06:59:26 · answer #1 · answered by Noota Oolah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He should have thought of THAT before putting the beef in the taco. He has a responsibility now and he can't hide your baby for long! I hope you tell everyone! I think he is "disgusting" for not stepping up to the plate and accept being a man. He's just another guy who likes to play but walks away from being a dad. Tell the bum to go home because you AND the baby shouldn't be around the yelling and negative vibes he is creating in the home.
You are not ugly or disgusting, and I hope you never believe those words. You didn't get yourself pregnant.
2007-02-23 06:57:23 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yes kick him out. He sounds like he's becoming progressively more hostile which could lead to physical abuse. He's already abusing you verbally and emotionally. Neither of which a pregnant woman needs.
If he's only going to be there for you "until the babys born" then you really don't need him at all.
Also start researching now what is involved to get court ordered child support after the birth. It's not something you're gonna want to deal with then so get started now.
2007-02-23 06:57:12 · answer #3 · answered by TLG 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that he is very worried about being a father and the only way he knows how to deal with it is acting the way that he is. It really depends on what you feel you should be. You need to consider what the best for you and the baby. The last thing you need is him treating you badly. Maybe you should sit him down and be HONEST with him. Tell him how he is making you feel. Try to get him to express how he is feeling, NICELY. If you can't come to some kind of common ground then yes I would say that you should leave him.
2007-02-23 07:38:34 · answer #4 · answered by tweety 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is obviously very stressed about this and he is taking it out on you, which is not fair at all.
I sugggest you tell him to go back to his apartment for a while, just for a break and see if he can come to terms with it. Then he will either get his head round it and come back ready to support you or carry on being an **** and leave you to rasie the baby by yourself.
Both of which are better options than living the way you are now.
He definitely needs to go away right now though, treating you like this is not acceptable.
Good luck
2007-02-23 06:54:40 · answer #5 · answered by cigaro19 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
since he has his own apartment maybe the two of you need some time away from each other to think of what you need to do if he wants nothing to do with you and the baby i would make sure that he did his part with support.He should not be talking to you the way he is looks is not everything.Pregnant women are beautiful do not listen to him put you down like that do not let him get to you and make you feel any diffrent.I feel that if he loved you he would not say these things to you so you to have somethings that you need to talk about and take care of before this baby gets here.
2007-02-23 07:04:58 · answer #6 · answered by mcdanieljoanie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's stressed. Not that I'm making excuses for him, but just trying to explain his behaviour. I would give him some time, talk to him and try to sort everything out. If you are planning on having this baby, you need him as much as he needs you, unless you decide to raise the child on your own (it is more difficult than one may think). Unplanned pregnancies are always very stressful. Spare each other, be good to each other, time will smoothe everything out. Kicking him out is just a temporary way out, just a momentary solution, and in the long run you may regret. Patience to you, and lots of luck!
2007-02-23 06:54:01 · answer #7 · answered by DM 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If all this is true, if fear you have no choice but to kick him out. He will just make your life and the babies a living hell. Better to deal with it and make arrangements for how you will manage you and the babies life now, before the baby is born.
He may be reacting this way because of stress, but if this is how he deals with stress, do you really want to spend any more of your life tied to it?
2007-02-23 06:55:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh my God girl...get out now. It'll be better for you to just leave. Go live with someone who treats you better. What does he think you got pregnant on your own? Maybe if you walk out, he'll realize what he's lost. AND he should NEVER be telling you you look bad. My boyfriend tells me I look good and I'm 5 months pregnant and I would have a mental break down if he said anything negative. In fact, he thinks I'm more sexy now...don't know why though...he's just being a you know what....leave him. Until he treats you better.
2007-02-23 06:52:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick his insensitive but out. I became pregnant with my 1st when I was 20 and the father...let me correct myself...SPERM DONOR, was an ***. I got rid of him. My daughter and I have been Happy ever since. I am now married with a second child, I received my post secondary education when my daughter was one. Don't let anything or anybody stop you from getting what you want in life. Good Luck, and Congrats on your pregnancy! :-)
2007-02-23 06:58:56 · answer #10 · answered by Carla S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋