My girlfriend was/is married for the last 17 years, she went on holiday with her husband last summer to Eygpt for 2 weeks and in the 1st week of the hoilday he dumped her (ouch!) anyway we got together in October and at the time even though they were seperated, they still lived together in seperate rooms. When he found out about us, he changed the locks and kicked her out. So now she is living with her parents. He told her before christmas that he would start on the divorce early January, but he hasn't up to now.
What rights does she have? She simply cannot afford to go to her own soliciters (she is only on minimum wage) as he charges £130 per hour!!!
Is there an easier / cheaper way for her to sort it out? He has now got nasty to her and is threatening to release intimate video's of her onto the Internet if she keeps bothering him.
That dont bother me at all, as I know he is just trying to scare her off without having to give her any money,
All help greatly appreciated
2007-02-23 06:44:34 · 13 answers · asked by Paul C 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Come on people be nice!!! She was seperated from him when we met and I didn't want to mention this unless he see's and realises it is him, but he was seeing a another women well before we got together
2007-02-23 06:56:51 · update #1
And also I am only on a small wage to, I simply can not afford to help. I am trying to get myself out of debt!!
2007-02-23 06:58:38 · update #2
not in USA We're in England
2007-02-23 07:00:46 · update #3
Good point but, please remember he met someone else before we met each other, he went to her house a lot, imagine how my gf felt when she still lived with him and he went out to see his bit on the side
We never even knew each other b4 they split
2007-02-23 07:27:38 · update #4
He dumped her and they were living in separate rooms so they had in effect split up so she was 'free' to see you, so why then did he chuck her out of the house when he found out she was seeing you? Doesn't make sense. She is lying about it and not telling you the whole story. Anyway, to get the cheapest divorce she will have to be separated from him for three years to qualify. Also, he will probably put the video on the internet anyway.
2007-02-23 07:38:40 · answer #1 · answered by georgeygirl 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ok, it sounds like he still wants to be with her, thats why he's dragging these things out. He's trying to hurt her as much as possible, he probably thought she was going to be miserable when he dumped her, then she turned up with you. (Were you with her during her marriage?) So now he is doing a lot of things out of spite. But, she should try legal aid. They offer low cost and free legal advice to people with low income. She could also try calling lawyers that do free consultations. She could get the divorce papers started herself. Things should go smooth as long as she stays calm and doesn't let him break her. I hope there aren't any children involved, thats when things get sketchy. I hope this helps.
P.S. It would be a good idea for you and her not to be "lovey dovey" in public, he might say she was cheating on him with you since you two got together so soon.
2007-02-23 15:03:58 · answer #2 · answered by Binky 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She needs to contact an Independent Paralegal. This is not going to be free, but it is going to be a hell of a lot cheaper than hiring an attorney. She can also file for a dissolution of marriage, and he will once he is served, have to respond within 15 days. Good luck. Look in the phone book paralegals near your area.
2007-02-23 14:50:40 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may be able to get him to pay for the divorce through the court.There are organizations called Legal Aid who will take on cases for people that do not have much money. After being married for 17 years, she does have some rights. Such as his pension when he retires, social security, property settlement,etc. A legal professional will have to explain this to her.
2007-02-23 14:55:55 · answer #4 · answered by myleshunt 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
try citizens advice, but somtimes it is better to cut your losses and move on.my ex refused to support his 2 children and 18 years on all that i have i have acheived and although it's not a lot i'm proud to have been able to stand alone. I am now very happily remarried and sharing ALL with my new hubbie. Be there for her,support her however you can and tell to stand tall and try to move on and not look back. Ignore the cynics!!!
2007-02-24 13:40:49 · answer #5 · answered by anne 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Paul.....do you really have room in your life for all her drama?...And I am sure the threat of her intimate videos on line doesn't both you as much as it would her....here in the usa it would be illegal but that doesn't really mean that much once they are out there...
She needs to help herself, you sound like a good friend but he does scare me.........watch your back if you stay in this one...good luck.
2007-02-23 14:50:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i don't know where you live, but is there any free legal services, where you live, that could help her because she is low income?
legally she has all rights to go in this house because they are still married, if i was her i would get those videos, and figure out away to get a lawyer, he can not publish those without her permission.
2007-02-23 14:55:12 · answer #7 · answered by donttalkjustplay05 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We used Mediation which costed 2 thousand for the entire divorce.
Are you in the states?
2007-02-23 14:49:52 · answer #8 · answered by ♣Hey jude♣ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont know your local law, but in most places she is entitled to something, possibly even more with the treat of releasing the videos.
2007-02-23 14:50:27 · answer #9 · answered by Correctlinguistics 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have lots of questions;
Why is she bothering him? Isn't this what she wants or was she happier being married with you on the side? Do you blame him for being angry?
What rights does she want? Does she want the right to live with her ex husband while she sleeps with you?
2007-02-23 14:49:50 · answer #10 · answered by ciao_gina 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋