I love her and I am sure she loves me. I failed to live up to her and she faced hell caught between me and her parents. She had been in email contact with her classmate for one year and I found her passionate loveletter to him. I was shocked as I always felt her love for me all the time even though I was giving her hell. She asked me today why she has to suffer because of us? I have no clue. I want to start it afresh and I love her more than I ever did. She is more hurt than me as she never thought of doing something like this at any time of her life. I am not jealous of her classmate as I always consider him a joker. It is me that fell from the admired and loved and married to the tolerable and then to the terrible. My sins bother me more than what she did and she more sad than me for having hurt me! Please advise as we love each other and don't want 14 years of her love and 5 years of my abuse need to be reoriented as we will never ever give pain to our kids at any cost?
2007-02-23 06:28:26 · 8 answers · asked by havah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
But for you, dear friends, our relation would have gone to dogs. I been telling her every detail of the answers I got and she posted some.Is this something we can share with any of our relations or friends? Never.
2007-02-23 06:44:18 · update #1
I can move on but where? How can leave two great kids and a wife who suffered more than the hurt she caused? The bullet is in the heart and it pricks, I don't know whether I can pocket it. She loved twice before our marriage(nothing physical) and I waited for 7 years only to accept her gladly.
2007-02-23 06:53:24 · update #2
Thanks Decent
2007-02-23 07:18:59 · update #3
Just do your part to be the best husband you can. Don't feel overly guilty, but don't mistreat her either. Do talk to one another frequently thought... mature and rational discussion is the best thing to patch up a relationship. Sometimes divorce is that other thing, but try to avoid that for the kids. And yeah, I can't judge your wife, but I'm sorry she was talking to someone else... Does she know you care enough about her to post on here?
2007-02-23 06:33:02 · answer #1 · answered by green sky means run 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to seek counseling of some sort. Together with the help of a mediator you can get everything out in the open and just move on from there. Admitting fault was your biggest obstacle, accepting the truth of why you behaved in the manner you did is going to be the hardest thing you will do. Nobody likes to admit weakness or need, but in order for you to move on and not fall back into the pattern of an abuser you are going to have to do some serious soul searching and learn to change what you can and hope that your wife will be able to accept the things you can't change. I wish you all the luck in the world and I hope your wife can be forgiving enough to continue on this path with you. Peace
2007-02-23 06:43:23 · answer #2 · answered by julianna76301 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you two seem to be sorry and remorseful, then this is an indication of the strong love you two have for each other. You two not only have to forgive each other but you two must also be able to forgive yourselves. We all make mistakes, what is important is that we learn from them and know not to repeat them again. Sometimes mistakes are a way to a learning experience and can bring the couple closer as they work together to over come the hurt they had experienced. I know with counselling and hard work you and your wife will be able to get your marriage back on tract. Best of luck to you both!
2007-02-23 06:51:34 · answer #3 · answered by pictureshygirl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its best that the both of you move on with your lives because what's the point on maintaining a relationship with someone who is causing you nothing but pain, hurt, and shame? The most important thing that the both of you should be concerned about right now is your children and they both deserve to have both parents take an active role in their lives. Besides, nothing good will come out of the relationship if the both of you continue to hurt each other and cause pain towards each other and two wrongs won't make it right! Move forward with your life and you deserve better! Good luck!
2007-02-23 06:35:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely it's an emotional affair and totally inappropriate,if he chooses to keep talking to her about you and your relationship,maybe you should rethink continuing on in this marriage,because it seems he doesn't respect you or your marriage or boundaries.You should not put up with his continued disrespect,tell him how you feel and maybe the two of you should seek counseling.Or perhaps just move on,since he apparently feels he can't or won't talk to you about his feelings.
2016-05-24 02:58:06 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What the **** is the harrasment and abuse. The only thing I can pick up here is she is disloyal and doen't have guilt.
Sorry dude. If it don't get deeper then this you in trouble.
2007-02-23 06:39:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think counseling would be best, bro... she might not know how to express her feelings for you after the 5 years of "abuse... "
2007-02-23 06:37:25 · answer #7 · answered by jhen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with decent.... Try hard to be the best husband you can be!
2007-02-23 06:46:18 · answer #8 · answered by MISTY 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋