Serious question, when a girl is pregnant, what can the father-to-be do? My g/f is 29, I'm 22 and we've been dating for only 2 years. I've always made it clear to her that I was not ready to have children. She told me last week that she was pregnant! And she intends on keeping it. She's been on the pill ever since we started dating so she took the responsibility for birth control. I know I could have worn a condom but when a girl tells a guy that she's on the pill or some other form of birth control, the birth control is covered, I feel the responsibility is not on the guy anymore!! I feel like I'm being forced into fatherhood! I want to have kids someday but not now, I'm too young! I didn't choose this! Can I do anything about it? I'm not ready to be a father but, barring anything I'm unaware of, it looks like I'm going to be! I seriously don't want to be paying child support for the next 18 years!! Any advice?????!!!!???!!!
2007-02-23 06:07:27 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Uhh, just because she is on the pill doesn't meant that she couldn't get pregnant. I am sure you knew that. Wearing a condom also would have decreased the chances of pregnancy, so that part is your own fault. It is her choice on whether she wants to keep the baby or not. If you are not responsible enough to be a parent, then you shouldn't be having sex in the first place.
2007-02-23 06:19:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
HA! Just because she was on the pill doesn't mean she couldn't get pregnant no form of birth control is 100% therefore if you didn't want a child then don't have sex plain and simple. Also if you are considering signing away your parental rights you should no that its not as easy as just signing a form anymore you need to have a legitimate reason and the whole I am too young and don't WANT to pay child support for the next 18 years is not a legitimate reason. Besides you don't know how you'll feel when you see that little boy or girl and hold them for the first time your feelings may completely change. I was 20 and on the shot when I conceived my first child and definetly did not feel "ready" but I wouldn't give my daughter up for the world. You just need to accept that you are having a child buck up and be a man about it. What would your mother say?
2007-02-23 06:19:36 · answer #2 · answered by Tanya 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
FYI - you can't always trust a girl who says she is on the pill. You should be responsible on your end, too. You essentially put your future in her hands. What if the birth control didn't work as it should have? Or what if she missed some pills and she wasn't protected? Or what if she just all-out lied and said she was still on it and wasn't? You are just as much as responsible, like it or not. No one forced you into having sex, right? Therefore you were NOT forced into fatherhood! A few different things could happen. A) Your gf will just drop you and tell you you're not responsible for child support if you stay out of both of their lives. B) Your gf will go after you for child support regardless of whether you are around or not. C) You will grow up and accept your responsibilities, and both of you will raise the child together, and be equally responsible for supporting it.
2007-02-23 06:21:49 · answer #3 · answered by angelbaby 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OH well.....you have the right to tell her what you think but you cant make her have an abortion or give the baby up. Its always both peoples responsibility to make sure that you are both covered. Not that she has an STD but what if she did? The pill doesn't cover you from getting it. And it says on the Birth Control Box that its only 97% effective. And YOU DID choose this you made the choice to have sex now you have to deal with the consequences. Unless when the baby is born you sign over ALL your rights to that child but, I don't think you will be able to that once you see that beautiful little baby.
2007-02-23 06:49:07 · answer #4 · answered by lollypop_stick 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, most people are never "ready" to be a parent. I'm 4 months pregnant and I feel like I'm still not ready. But once that baby is born and you look at it for the first time, everything changes. At this point all you can/should do is put your stubborn feelings aside and be there for your girlfriend and child. Dont put all the blame on your g/f thats not fair, it takes 2 ppl to make a baby not 1. It may not be what you've expected, but you got 9 months to step up and be a man, or better yet a father.
2007-02-23 06:20:14 · answer #5 · answered by ELW 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Sorry you got yourself into this mess. First of all you are not too young to be a father. I had my frist child when I was 17 and we are all just fine. If you don't want to help raise the child and pay child support then you need to sign over all parental rights. This also means that you have no right to see the kid ever again if the mother doesn't want you to. But if you do that you may end up regretting it later on in life. Don't you want to know that your son or daughter is happy and healthy. I think you should give it a lot of serious thought before you sign over all rights. Hope everything turns out ok.
2007-02-23 06:20:41 · answer #6 · answered by Steph 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You did choose this. The only 100% effective form of bc is to abstain. It *could* have happened even if she was on the pill and you wore a condom - the only guarantee is to keep it zipped. IMHO, you can tell her that you don't want to be a father yet, you can choose to not have anything to do with the baby when s/he arrives, but beyond that... I suppose you could talk to a lawyer and see if they know of any legal way you could get out of paying support - but what kind of dog would do that?
This is all very new to you. It is a surprise to both of you. Let the news that she is expecting a baby sink in a little before you do anything rash. Good luck.
2007-02-23 06:16:58 · answer #7 · answered by doodyfulls 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It is 100 % her choice to keep the baby. And if she does does sue you for child support you'll be forced to pay, they'll take it out of your paycheck.
Try going with her to her doctor's appointment you'll hear the heartbeat, go to the ultrasound. I bet you just might fall in love with this little baby before it's even born, and especially when you hold it for the first time and you can see a resemblance to you. When they smile and look up at you. You're not 16, you're 22 and perfectly capable of being a loving father to this baby.
Birth control pills are not perfect. If she had been sick then there's a chance that the pill could fail.
No one is ever ready to be a parent, even those of us who tried to conceive. Just take it one day at a time. Good luck.
2007-02-23 06:20:07 · answer #8 · answered by Mommy...LT 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you believed the old "I'm on the pill"? Ha ha! She is 29, the biological clock was ticking. You can't force her to abort, nor does it even sound like an option to her. So yes, your going to be a father, and yes you are going to pay child support not just for the next 18 years, but for the rest of this child's life.
Maybe next time you won't put all the responsibility on your partner, it's your responsibility to protect yourself with a condom, from circumstances like these. What a tough lesson to learn at 22..............
Good luck and congrats
2007-02-23 06:16:17 · answer #9 · answered by wheezerthill 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marry her, then you won't have to pay "child support." 'Only' 2 years is generally long enough for someone to decide whether or not they want to spend their life with someone. You can break up with her and tell her that when she finds another man and marries him that you will be williing to sign over your parental rights to allow him to adopt the child, then you will only have financial responsibility until that happens. And in the future, if you don't want kids, it is your responsibility to take care of your own birth control.
Edit:
Oh seriously, I can't believe I wasted my time answering that. You're so full of crap. One question you're asking for advice on a first date, another you're dating a 37 year old for 4 months.
2007-02-23 06:13:48 · answer #10 · answered by Heather Y 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋